Imperfection of Perfect

The last time I blogged frequently, it was still MSN era. Today we have smartphones and Whatsapp, LINE, WeChat (straight friend told me this is the Grindr equivalent). Which also means more group chat (crap?) even on the go.

So, one of these sessions in our Whatsapp group chat:

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A: *share his friend's pic*

  

B: John is becoming hotter

A: Sam must be so happy ^^

C: I thought it would be the other way round. Usually when a guy becomes hot, either 1: the BF pales in comparison and sooner or later becomes not good enough or 2: even if the BF is hot, it still increases the odd of cheating when a guy is hot.

B: That's life of P..

A: *stare* you know who is Sam meh..

C: Obviously the bf..

A: *stare*

C: So if your bf who have been with you for more than 5 years suddenly says he wanted to go gym, you should be alert. If no results can be seen that's fine, but if shape is starting to form, it maybe in the best interest of the relationship to break his leg so he cant gym anymore

A: *stare*

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Okay, the names are obviously not real, and neither is the pic, but just to add something to the otherwise wordy blog (this is low.. =[ ). 

I sounded really jaded there making such statement, is that why I am still single!? And another sad thing is, none of the 6 persons in the group chat actually challenge that statement, feels like everyone is agreeing? (or we are just a very sour jaded group as a whole.. =| )

Though I do really find imperfect guys to be more comfortable as BF material, afterall he wont have expectation on you to be <5 admit="" am="" body="" div="" etc.="" fat="" i="" just="" lazy="" nbsp="" ok="" that.="">

Beauty in the Eye of Beholder - but this?

Firstly, I am actually a gadget geek. I know pretty much all the new flagship smartphone and the not so flagship ones. And recent Google event caught my attention with the wearables.

Apparently wearable device is believed (at least Google's camp does so) to be the next big thing after the advent of smartphone.

When Google's first announcement of their wearable device and came out with Moto 360, I have to admit I was WOW-ed by it. I would have swipe my card immediately without doubt for one (even till today I would). This design is revolutionary! 

  

Then we have LG coming in second with their LG G Watch, which honestly doesn't look too bad actually. If there isn't Moto 360 I would definitely consider this.

In the most recent Google Event, Samsung joined the team too, being one of the manufacturers of Google new platform Android Wear.

Previously Samsung had several attempts though honestly none came close to Moto360 or even LG. It just convey idea of "cheap plastic" - something you can get for 5 bucks in Bugis Street.

You would think given Moto 360 and LG G Watch were announced close to half a year ahead, even if Samsung is cutting cost on design team, they could at least copy those design instead of "inheriting" 

But this, this is what they plan to sell: 

I always thought Samsung is bold with experimentation, Samsung Note series is a huge success. Even the most recent Samsung Galaxy K zoom, the design improved significantly from last year, in fact, that's actually my next wishlist. 

But this watch is just.. just.. cheap plastic (again). It doesn't feel like something that demand the price tag of USD 200. Not to even mention a product that comes from SAMSUNG, not like they are some poor, money losing company. What's wrong with hiring a designer? (I know Beauty is in the Eye of Beholder, but ss there really someone who thinks this look better than Moto 360?)

This, on the other hand, is really to die for. I would definitely get one.. Sell it soon please!!!

A Trip?

One of the motivation to last through exam is the freedom after. Hence, when a friend suggested a trip to Malacca to see our friend who happens to be celebrating his birthday on the same Friday it didn't take much convincing to make the decision.

Except, it wasn't exactly as rosy as how one or at least I would imagine a trip to be.

For a start, I decided to leave office earlier at 5pm to head to checkpoint knowing there will be a jam to Johor Bahru.

And here, at 6pm, a 45 minutes queue before I could board the bus from train station to custom checkpoint.

Follow by another hour of queue at the Singapore checkpoint before I manage to board a bus to Malaysia side.

And finally when I reached Johor at 8pm, met my friend and took a 3 hour ride to Malacca, first stop was the hospital....

Turns out our friend have to send his friend to the hospital due to some emergency. And since we are staying at our friends' place, and the whole idea was to spend time with him, we end up spending all night until 4am. With only about an hour break in between where we when for supper at a mamak stall. 

*Our selfie session in the hospital*

The next day didn't get any better with our host having an ad hoc business meeting and left me and my friend sleeping till noon follow by a western lunch (i.e. no chicken rice ball) and a trip to the Road Traffic Department to renew my driving licence (!?)

Yes.. not sure why but that did happen.

So lastly we meet up with our host friend for a late lunch/tea session at Old Town and then I am on bus back to SG.. Which concludes my Malacca trip.

To Summarize:

-no Chicken Rice ball

-no Chendol with Gula Melaka

-no Laksa/Curry

-no Crepe cake

-no A Famosa photo taking

But, we did have hours of catch up and good laughter. That kinda makes it worth it.

Our Western lunch at Wok and Pan. The Cordon Bleu chicken recommended is actually very nice. Pan fried instead of deep fried, less oily though it will hardly find its place in list of healthy food.  

Back!

FINALLY!

This blog has last been updated on the 20th of Sept 2012. Even that was 1 post after a year or so of inactivity. One main reason was plainly being lazy and with a secondary one being I decided to go back to school again in 2011. A second degree. 

3 years later, today on the 11th June 2014, I have finally finished my LAST paper! Results will be released in August and whether I have to retake any subject will depend on that (touching wood while typing this - obviously hope not) but at least as far as things are concern now, I am done with it!

The picture was taken outside the examination center. One of the last cramming moments I will surely not miss. 

3 years of hard work (sorta - doing it part time basis) and a lot of money spend. For some reason, this is the first thing I wanna do, to put an entry into this blog. Perhaps this has always been the place I have been using to share my thoughts out loud and also for a good couple of years this place has been my diary recording my experience of growing up from the break up with the only person I ever called a boyfriend. 

I decided to take up this course because I know I do not enjoy the field I am currently in, but there is also a little part of me which wanted to prove that I can do what he has completed, and those in that industry need not be so arrogant and overly proud. Though by now I have to admit for those who gets 2nd upper and above (which he is in), you have my respect. I am at best a 2:2 but allow me to be a little defensive and say I did it part time. 

So yea, in a way, he inspired me to try this field and it lead to me having now a second degree coming up. If I were to be romantic to describe this, fate definitely loves to tease both of us. Since our break up in December 2009, we have probably met 3 times, each about a year apart and all planned and arranged in advance with the last one in last February when I try to skip Chinese New Year and stayed in Singapore. For the first time in this past 4 and half year, we bumped into each other today, unplanned, unexpected, the day I finished the course which he gave me the idea to try. 

This may just be a plain coincidence to some but how often in my life would I sit for my last paper for a degree inspired by someone (obviously if i were to put it that way the count is 1) and bump into that person on the same day? 

My bestie from school who was sitting next to me saw us making eye contact and simple gestures asked who this is. I told her that's my ex and the first comment she made was, "He is very handsome" and yea, well still standing tall at over 180 and regularly gymming, hair nicely waxed and big eyes, no reason why she wouldn't say that. Although she had also been supportive later by adding who needs him luh..  I love my bestie. 

Well I know it is silly to believe this is fate but no harm indulging sometimes in romantic thoughts like this. It just feels like a nice beautiful end to this 3 year journey of my second degree. The person who inspired me to start on this journey was there at the end of it. Though he definitely would not have any idea of this.

If things work out well, another new journey will begin real soon. Hopefully will be able to record it down here..

Back to December

There are some things in life that may not be love at first sight, but they slowly grow on you. This is how i got to know of this song...

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"Hey, how are you doing..."

Another Christmas would mark 3 years to the end of our relationship. From the very beginning of blogging because I want you to know what's going on in my life while I am not suppose to text you, to our break up, and then friends I met here which motivated me to keep writing, and until a time when I felt so drained and pointless to continue because there is nothing more I can write about our relationship or even relationship in general. Or maybe it was meant to be a true end, since this blog carries too much of the memories, even the title was meant to convince myself otherwise.

3 years, that's how fast time flies. We didn't exactly ended in bad terms, but I guess neither would we have been able to say we will be BFF. So every now and then when I thought we would never talk again, the message from you checking how I am doing actually makes me wonder what it was really for.

Though at times I would let my thoughts run wild, but most of the time i simply shut myself out of silly thoughts. 3 years of exploring, doing things I never did before, meeting people, there has been ups and downs, heart breaking moments, and people I may have accidentally hurt, but the outcome is someone who is more careful with handling his feelings. Someone who now knows better to protect himself better... And a Heart that takes more convincing to be touched now..

Really, I keep imagining, if you know me now, I guess you probably wouldn't think you know me...

But hey, I grown up..

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When I first heard Taylor Swift's Back to December, the lyrics really caught me. I even feel a little upset because I thought at least Taylor Swift has regretted, swallowed her pride and wanted to go back to December to change what she did, but I would never know if that idea ever crosses you.

Been always wanted to post this song since I heard it, but never really able to get the momentum on again. Afterall, this blog is almost as good as, well, dead. So now, finally a night I feel like writing something.


I am doing fine really, couldn't be better. Hope you are too. =)

-kidz

Better left in the Dark

We know sometimes between a couple that certain things are better left unknown. Cause the chances are it will keep bothering the other person n one day it might just trigger off something unwanted for something that has past n definitely will not or at least unlikely going to happen again in some cases. We all know these kind of stories.

I dont really mean to discuss on that. Everyone has a set of value to themselves and view on such so called "grey lies". I didnt call it white as the intention cant be said as totally innocent and 'protecting' the other. So hence, grey. or Not so white.

I am just merely doing a comparison of how the brain function, between knowing and not. Since monday, whenever i wake up qith my back feeling uncomfortable. It no longer translate to, must be the bed, i didnt sleep well yeterday night or did i over exercise this morning.. Rather, " so thats why i always felt that these whole year.." n then sily thoughts starts spinning again and my mind go through the virtual operation and all the possibe out comes from it. Pretty drama and ur brain actually works real fast, like a zillion thoughts in one second... Now a small backache just dont feel the same anymore.. In fact i find myself keep touching the back, as if i will feel a bone sticking out any minute.. Haa.. getting paranoid..

The only lucky thing is from the front it is totally not obvious. Even when i am topless, it doesnt look like my entire frame is skewed. Lucky in the sense can still kao zai.. But in a way, thats prob why it didnt draw much attention all these years, even from myself. Cause i cant see myself from the back.. Shucks, now i wish i had a bf whom during intimacy would ask, "baby, how come ur back looks weird, u sure u dun need a doc?" Then i say, "Oo, okay lo.. i go see tmr.." and smile sweetly back.. (the obey-bf feature turned on)

I shud hav started seeing guys since 15.... O well..

35,000

I went to an orthopaedic today, it was kinda a cheapskate mentality that ahh, since insurance covrs that, why not? I knew i hav scoliosis all these while, but its just that our family doctor in Ipoh has more than once assured my mom its not something to worry since i past puberty n things r pretty much "in placea", cant get better cant get worse.. So it was like a see wat the pro has to say expectation.. in fact i was expecting it to be comforting n reassuring..

But well, I guess life is always interesting because u cant expect everything to go ur way..

After a 150 bucks x-ray, (in fact come to think of it the radiographer looked at the film, then came to feel my back and kinda had a "yea, no wonder" expression) the doctor was showing me the shot. Even a layman like me can tell, it looks bad. The doctor was really kind.. he didnt use that word until i promtpted him from his reaction..

Basically, the backbone has this part that's curved at about 67 degree. Normal is zero. And surgery is recommended for those abouve the range of 50-60. Which means I fall outside the "ambiguous" range, I need one. Because of it worsen to like above 70, it seems that its gonna affect my heart or lung. But the doctor just said he didn't want to straight away recommend surgery although that's pretty much the only remedy. He has shown me the powerpoint of current surgery developement where it is possible to recover from like 54 degree to 17, from an example. But for my case, it is probably estimated at 50% recovery only. Cause for one thing, i am pretty much grown.

At this point, i was kinda worry... but since there is still a chance to recover it don't sound so bad. So i asked how much it's gonna cost. n yup... around SGD35,000. A bomb as the doctor calls it...

It was quite fortunate that all these years our family despite having financial problems, it was not so much of life threatening or dead urgent. Thus, i know we r not rich, but neither hav we been in a situation that we need money badly. But this time... I am a little worry... Prob more...

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Probably something positive is maybe I will grow taller if i really get to do the surgery. Cause the curve looked really bad and if it gets straighten it means i gain height right? Furthermore, when i ask the doctor if i can gym, he kinda say no weight training, it will make u "shorter" ... Thanks Doc... So the reverse apply i guess?

If i really get the money...