Nope.. not about my first love.. I had written a lot but sometimes I wonder is that love? has he ever truly love me?
I will never know...
But anyway, I got to know of this song on friday evening, somewhat to feel it for the first time. And on saturday, I probably played it over 50 times... again, for dunno what reason and I dun even know the meaning, maybe I am just emotional and crazy... haa...
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Right place, right time, and the right person...
Not long ago, I bought this book by a famous taiwanese host-cum-writer.
It is about all the love stories.. nope, not love stories as in fictions, but stories of people around and about her.
Tonite reminds me of one particular story, it goes like this...
********************************************
There was this girl, A ,who was young and pretty and has all the qualities to succeed as a high flying celebrity. She encounter this young rich man who well, is not good-looking, slightly plump and worse of all, an idiot who only knows how to spend his parents wealth. Cars, women, drink is what the guy is only interested in. Even with a pretty girlfriend A who is blindly attached to him, he still goes out and flirt and spend like no one's business. Eventually, all his family wealth has depleted to nothing, and when you think he wud at least learn his lesson, he started asking money from A.
A, who keeps believing that the idiot will change and turn a new leaf, keep working and supplying him with money. All she wanted is to have a family with this man she loves deeply. So no matter what happen, she keep on supplying him with her hard earn money. While the idiot keep using the money as if it was his own, on women, drinks... Until there was this time, that he was in huge debt with loan shark, that he was forced to leave the country, and he just told A that he wants to break off.. just that..
Poor A, who has wasted so many years, and wanted to have a family with this man, ended up wasting her youth, her money for nothing in the end but a broken heart..
Well, if the stories just end here, then it probably might be better, but soemtiems fate can be cruel. After some years, the Man return to the country, no one knows what happen to him, but he seems to have finally turn over a new leaf, has a proper career, and no longer addicted to his bad habit. In fact, he got married and became a good husband and father. Except the bride isn't A. It was a young lady in ther early 20's.
It simply says, A has been giving and struggling all her life, just hoping that the man she loves will turn good and give her a family she always wanted. But, in the end, this simple things she wanted, went to a young girl effortlessly, just because the young girl met her man at the right time, and the right place. When he has really learned his lesson and determinedly become a good man... while A, still alone and has lost most of her precious things...
*******************************************
Sad story isn't it? For A... But if you believe it, we can only blame that fate is cruel on us. Why cant she be the one to meet the guy after he has learned his life lesson and be good...
It is just like in this circle, say 2 young guys, who have just came into this world, they were lucky enough to meet each other, dedicated to give each other their life, and are really the "right" match.. they probably live happily ever after. ( You may bet this is too ideal to happen, but proof to me it never occurs on anyone..)
Then look at another pair, one just came in, young and optimistic in seeking a dedicated partner, and met with this person, who has failed several relationship because of various reasons, and the person is just too tired to try again, who knows, this mayb the right one, but he is just too tired, to bet in the love game again.. and well, they just missed each other..
and lastly, 2 experienced guy, both in the circle long enuf, both has seen enough, to tell you (from their perspective) that true love doesn't exists, because they have failed enough times to be optimistic, so now that even they have met, they wouldn't open up their heart to trust each other, they might just be fun buddy, hand around, they might feel that the other seems to be a right person, but neither might open up to love again, so just a "meaty" relationship and never trust... till the day they leave the world.. Will they be happy? I bet they will regret before their very last breath, does money matters to you at that time, or a memory that makes you smile while you breath your last breath? (I am quoting this example as I have met and spoken to some who are in their late 30's it seems like this is their common believe, which at this point, I still disgree strongly..)
I wouldn't say what I feel is 100% correct, but at least at this point of time, I still feel that opening up ur heart, eventually you will meet someone with the same heart as urs. And if we never try, this will never happen..
But still as the story I quoted, sometimes can you blame the others to be pessimistic after so many heart breaking sessions? How strong do you have to be? So, eventually you probably have to be "at the right place, in the right time with the right person"... and guess what, in chinese, this is simply call 缘份 (yuan fen)...
It is about all the love stories.. nope, not love stories as in fictions, but stories of people around and about her.
Tonite reminds me of one particular story, it goes like this...
********************************************
There was this girl, A ,who was young and pretty and has all the qualities to succeed as a high flying celebrity. She encounter this young rich man who well, is not good-looking, slightly plump and worse of all, an idiot who only knows how to spend his parents wealth. Cars, women, drink is what the guy is only interested in. Even with a pretty girlfriend A who is blindly attached to him, he still goes out and flirt and spend like no one's business. Eventually, all his family wealth has depleted to nothing, and when you think he wud at least learn his lesson, he started asking money from A.
A, who keeps believing that the idiot will change and turn a new leaf, keep working and supplying him with money. All she wanted is to have a family with this man she loves deeply. So no matter what happen, she keep on supplying him with her hard earn money. While the idiot keep using the money as if it was his own, on women, drinks... Until there was this time, that he was in huge debt with loan shark, that he was forced to leave the country, and he just told A that he wants to break off.. just that..
Poor A, who has wasted so many years, and wanted to have a family with this man, ended up wasting her youth, her money for nothing in the end but a broken heart..
Well, if the stories just end here, then it probably might be better, but soemtiems fate can be cruel. After some years, the Man return to the country, no one knows what happen to him, but he seems to have finally turn over a new leaf, has a proper career, and no longer addicted to his bad habit. In fact, he got married and became a good husband and father. Except the bride isn't A. It was a young lady in ther early 20's.
It simply says, A has been giving and struggling all her life, just hoping that the man she loves will turn good and give her a family she always wanted. But, in the end, this simple things she wanted, went to a young girl effortlessly, just because the young girl met her man at the right time, and the right place. When he has really learned his lesson and determinedly become a good man... while A, still alone and has lost most of her precious things...
*******************************************
Sad story isn't it? For A... But if you believe it, we can only blame that fate is cruel on us. Why cant she be the one to meet the guy after he has learned his life lesson and be good...
It is just like in this circle, say 2 young guys, who have just came into this world, they were lucky enough to meet each other, dedicated to give each other their life, and are really the "right" match.. they probably live happily ever after. ( You may bet this is too ideal to happen, but proof to me it never occurs on anyone..)
Then look at another pair, one just came in, young and optimistic in seeking a dedicated partner, and met with this person, who has failed several relationship because of various reasons, and the person is just too tired to try again, who knows, this mayb the right one, but he is just too tired, to bet in the love game again.. and well, they just missed each other..
and lastly, 2 experienced guy, both in the circle long enuf, both has seen enough, to tell you (from their perspective) that true love doesn't exists, because they have failed enough times to be optimistic, so now that even they have met, they wouldn't open up their heart to trust each other, they might just be fun buddy, hand around, they might feel that the other seems to be a right person, but neither might open up to love again, so just a "meaty" relationship and never trust... till the day they leave the world.. Will they be happy? I bet they will regret before their very last breath, does money matters to you at that time, or a memory that makes you smile while you breath your last breath? (I am quoting this example as I have met and spoken to some who are in their late 30's it seems like this is their common believe, which at this point, I still disgree strongly..)
I wouldn't say what I feel is 100% correct, but at least at this point of time, I still feel that opening up ur heart, eventually you will meet someone with the same heart as urs. And if we never try, this will never happen..
But still as the story I quoted, sometimes can you blame the others to be pessimistic after so many heart breaking sessions? How strong do you have to be? So, eventually you probably have to be "at the right place, in the right time with the right person"... and guess what, in chinese, this is simply call 缘份 (yuan fen)...
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
My Biological Clock
It seems that I am now able to sleep past the what used to be lunch-time-wake-up-call from my body. Meaning I wont feel like waking up to eat, rather I feel sleepy and tired and am able to sleep thru that hour.
But somehow this is just a minor adjustment, one of the biggest problem I don't really like is still the way I fall asleep. Normally for me to fall asleep, I need to be rolling on my bed for a while, calm myself and fall asleep. Partly because I am a light sleeper, so i don't just "faint" immediately like my brother, or Someone...
But then recently, I fell asleep without myself realizing.. it is like I had my breakfast, watch some you-tube and wait for my hair to dry.. but next thing I realize, it is 12pm and I had slept for 3 hours with my lappie still on my bed (normally I would shift it away so i wont hit it and make it fall on the floor accidentally..) but these 2 days, I seem to always just sleep "uncounciously".. Okay, this sounds a bit like coma but what I meant is I sleep without intending too, but rather I am just too tired and i just collapse.. It feels like I am exhausting my body everyday =s
Another thing is my eye-bag!!! It seems very prominent now... especially my complexion is quite fair, it make it more obvious... ARGH!!!!! I DUN WAN TO BE A PANDA!!!!!!!!!
Gosh.. this thing looks quite cute doesn't it =P in fact a bit fake.. BUT I DUN WAN TO BE LIKE IT!!!!
But somehow this is just a minor adjustment, one of the biggest problem I don't really like is still the way I fall asleep. Normally for me to fall asleep, I need to be rolling on my bed for a while, calm myself and fall asleep. Partly because I am a light sleeper, so i don't just "faint" immediately like my brother, or Someone...
But then recently, I fell asleep without myself realizing.. it is like I had my breakfast, watch some you-tube and wait for my hair to dry.. but next thing I realize, it is 12pm and I had slept for 3 hours with my lappie still on my bed (normally I would shift it away so i wont hit it and make it fall on the floor accidentally..) but these 2 days, I seem to always just sleep "uncounciously".. Okay, this sounds a bit like coma but what I meant is I sleep without intending too, but rather I am just too tired and i just collapse.. It feels like I am exhausting my body everyday =s
Another thing is my eye-bag!!! It seems very prominent now... especially my complexion is quite fair, it make it more obvious... ARGH!!!!! I DUN WAN TO BE A PANDA!!!!!!!!!
Gosh.. this thing looks quite cute doesn't it =P in fact a bit fake.. BUT I DUN WAN TO BE LIKE IT!!!!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Love, Reason?
Blogging on a daily basis is on the plus side, act as a diary of what you did, or feel or thought and you cud look back sometime and it will remind you on what happen. Like a trace. But sometimes, you can simply run out of ideas, i mean sometimes a day can be very ordinary, work, eat, sleep, eat, sleep.... etc etc
Today seems to be somewhat a day like that for me, well, not that nothing really happen, in fact, one little bit going on, just I am not sure if I wud want to write this down and really remember it forever, or just let it slowly fade in my own mind as chances are nothing good will come out...
But other than that, well nothing, i was going to look for some old songs and write but then I saw this. It is a question that I have once been asked, I remember initially I said, liking someone means liking someone, it is a feeling why shud there be soemthing... But I was told that I cannot even say something about the person, so I was frustrated and try very hard to get answer, and said something crap.. that really resembles the story below...
******************************************
Once a lady, when having a conversation with her lover, asked:
Lady: Why do you like me? Why do you love me?
Man: I can’t tell the reason but I really like you...
Lady: You can’t even tell me the reason. How can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?
Man: I really don’t know the reason, but I can prove that I love U.
Lady: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. friend’s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man: Ok..ok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet,because you are caring,because you are loving,because you are thoughtful,because of your smile,because of your every movements.
The lady felt very satisfied with the man’s answer. Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and went in comma.The Guy then placed a letter by her side,
Here is the content:
Darling,
Because of your sweet voice that I love you...Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your care and concern that I like you..Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your smile,because of your every movements that I love you..
Now can you smile? Now can you move?No, therefore I cannot love you...
If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.
Does love need a reason?
NO!
Therefore, I still LOVE YOU...
***AND, I like this...
~True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away
~Immature love says: ’I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ’I need you because I love you.’
~Fate Determines Who Comes Into Our Lives, But Heart Determines Who Stays...’
************************************************
I like this article, for one, it helps me feel sure of my own answer, and also the last 3 lines. It really give us a thought about what is love...
*not that this article is necessarily correct, there are always different ways and arguments to look at one question. But at least this sounds reasonable doesn't it?
Today seems to be somewhat a day like that for me, well, not that nothing really happen, in fact, one little bit going on, just I am not sure if I wud want to write this down and really remember it forever, or just let it slowly fade in my own mind as chances are nothing good will come out...
But other than that, well nothing, i was going to look for some old songs and write but then I saw this. It is a question that I have once been asked, I remember initially I said, liking someone means liking someone, it is a feeling why shud there be soemthing... But I was told that I cannot even say something about the person, so I was frustrated and try very hard to get answer, and said something crap.. that really resembles the story below...
******************************************
Once a lady, when having a conversation with her lover, asked:
Lady: Why do you like me? Why do you love me?
Man: I can’t tell the reason but I really like you...
Lady: You can’t even tell me the reason. How can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?
Man: I really don’t know the reason, but I can prove that I love U.
Lady: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. friend’s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man: Ok..ok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet,because you are caring,because you are loving,because you are thoughtful,because of your smile,because of your every movements.
The lady felt very satisfied with the man’s answer. Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and went in comma.The Guy then placed a letter by her side,
Here is the content:
Darling,
Because of your sweet voice that I love you...Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your care and concern that I like you..Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your smile,because of your every movements that I love you..
Now can you smile? Now can you move?No, therefore I cannot love you...
If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.
Does love need a reason?
NO!
Therefore, I still LOVE YOU...
***AND, I like this...
~True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away
~Immature love says: ’I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ’I need you because I love you.’
~Fate Determines Who Comes Into Our Lives, But Heart Determines Who Stays...’
************************************************
I like this article, for one, it helps me feel sure of my own answer, and also the last 3 lines. It really give us a thought about what is love...
*not that this article is necessarily correct, there are always different ways and arguments to look at one question. But at least this sounds reasonable doesn't it?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Rainy Day
雨天 Rainy day.
Be it english or mandarin, it seems to carry a grey-ish meaning. Saving up for a rainy day, as well as the following songs. Seems like in literature, it is simply not favourable...
I have heard this song since long ago. But somehow I never really fell deeply for it. Until today, when it rains, it reminds me of this song. Also, I notice how I have written in my profile that to give the songs 3 minuts to understand the story (if u understand the language that is..), but when i try to listen to this song, I actually couldn't fully appreciate the whole story in it. Maybe that's why I never fell for it so much.
But then again, sometimes, you dun have to know everything to appreciate it. Just like do you need to know how to cook a steak to appreciate it? Nope, just open your mouth and eat it. So for this song, just open up your ears, and listen to it. Despite not understanding the story, the sadness, the dissapointment in the song is still prominent. The feeling of a rainy, gloomy, cold, lonely moment...
雨天...
***************************************
After so many hot days, finally there is rain in this big city small island... Which was really great, i manage to sleep continuosly from morning till late noon and it was nice...
This morning, when i try to blog, i realize my thoughts were totally jumble up and I have been typing practically really mess up things. Initially I wanted to describe something I saw at the toastbox, 2 groups of people with different story, although it has been short but it is the kind of scene that makes you think about life, yea life again, i know.. I am emotional again...
But well, maybe next time, I am sure I will always remember what I saw...
Be it english or mandarin, it seems to carry a grey-ish meaning. Saving up for a rainy day, as well as the following songs. Seems like in literature, it is simply not favourable...
I have heard this song since long ago. But somehow I never really fell deeply for it. Until today, when it rains, it reminds me of this song. Also, I notice how I have written in my profile that to give the songs 3 minuts to understand the story (if u understand the language that is..), but when i try to listen to this song, I actually couldn't fully appreciate the whole story in it. Maybe that's why I never fell for it so much.
But then again, sometimes, you dun have to know everything to appreciate it. Just like do you need to know how to cook a steak to appreciate it? Nope, just open your mouth and eat it. So for this song, just open up your ears, and listen to it. Despite not understanding the story, the sadness, the dissapointment in the song is still prominent. The feeling of a rainy, gloomy, cold, lonely moment...
雨天...
***************************************
After so many hot days, finally there is rain in this big city small island... Which was really great, i manage to sleep continuosly from morning till late noon and it was nice...
This morning, when i try to blog, i realize my thoughts were totally jumble up and I have been typing practically really mess up things. Initially I wanted to describe something I saw at the toastbox, 2 groups of people with different story, although it has been short but it is the kind of scene that makes you think about life, yea life again, i know.. I am emotional again...
But well, maybe next time, I am sure I will always remember what I saw...
Monday, March 1, 2010
New Interest
Bread Talk was one of the brand made known to the world (at least the asian world) by Singaopore.
In recent years, they have added toastbox which serves as a coffee place which sells toast, coffee, tea, and some local food. Much like the concept of kopitiam if you ask me, except it is always attached to a breaktalk outlet...
Reason I mention this is because just recently, I have found myself going back to toastbox for their yin yeaung very often. It is like really cozy to have a warm drink and read some stories book or chat and mingle with ur friends.. I like the book part and also to look around see what's happening..
Tea with a feeling of thick slightly bitter coffee.. I just like the taste... seems like i am addicted to something again...
*******************************************
Another nite... or day... or sleep time... ZZzZzzzzz...
In recent years, they have added toastbox which serves as a coffee place which sells toast, coffee, tea, and some local food. Much like the concept of kopitiam if you ask me, except it is always attached to a breaktalk outlet...
Reason I mention this is because just recently, I have found myself going back to toastbox for their yin yeaung very often. It is like really cozy to have a warm drink and read some stories book or chat and mingle with ur friends.. I like the book part and also to look around see what's happening..
Tea with a feeling of thick slightly bitter coffee.. I just like the taste... seems like i am addicted to something again...
*******************************************
Another nite... or day... or sleep time... ZZzZzzzzz...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
