About 2010

I guess this is a nice time to do a reflection on this year. Although most of the important things has been blogged here. So i was just recalling whats the best and most dissappointing that happened.

Best:
And most exiciting, I had the longest flight ever in my life to half way across the globe, out of asia, to a total foreign land. I have seen US. I have met dad in real, after being apart for a good 10 years. I have shopped like no next time (which is kinda true when u see no as not any sooner again). I have seen the Big Apple, the SATC come true and also as a place where mom and dad had both worked in order to raised us up. And all these because of a fortunate encounter with this job, with a supportive boss. I cant think of anything better than this in 2010.

Worst:
I probably sigh on this enuf of times... But the fact is I am still a failure in relationship. zbe it i havent met with the right person, of i simply am not good at dealing with one. But nothing really nice happened. Many encounters, but none ended up as a long term rs... I still failed in this.

2011, some plans going in mind while some hopes too as ever... May it be better than this year and may I havwe the determination to live it up too..

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I asked for ice water from toastbox, of course for a regular they wont charge anything. But...

I wonder why they give me hot water and a plate of ice.. i was struggling to quench my thirst..

-CP @ 31Dec2010

House Hunting

Or more precisely room hunting. In this little island, "house" itself seems to be a luxury term. My best mate working in Kedah as an Intel Engineer is renting an entire house, and it probably cost bout half of what I am paying now for HALF A ROOM.

Anyway, been trying to get a decent room that compromises of
Location: Not too far from central (say 20-30 mins public transport)
Type: Attached Bath (typically master room) or Studio
Condition: With Air Con (that's about all I really die to have for now)

Basically just these, and my budget is around 600-800 sgd. But the realistic price for the above mention condition could range from 750 (government flat studio for single senior citizens with crappy condition) to 5000 (for condo studios) and the average pvt studios are around 1500-2000. And even more shock to realize that some common room (share toilet) can cost from 700 (again, govn flat) to 1000!!

This is totally ridiculous... I really dun intend to continue sharing a room and live so far from office/town but this gets really depressing to look (for houses) and look again (at my own salary)...

Maybe I should seriously consider weekend escort jobs. Afterall i need to kill time for weekend nites, might as well make full used of it...

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There was a news lately on a karaoke girl gettin 800sgd per nite.

I wonder how much this can be priced...

The Gay $tatus

The pink dollar, it is definitely one significant chunk of money that whoever(country leader) plays ignorant will just loose out their share.

And it just gives out an impression that Gays or Lesbians are generally well being, determined to success, high powered group of people. The fact? well, I suppose so, I mean for one, couples who don't have kids obviously have more to spend. And from there, we know all we earn is all we are gonna have for our old days, no offspring watsoever to sponsor us, so better to have more than less, thus the determination.

Also, being gay, being rather shallow at times, gay have a tendency to seek someone so call "compatible". If you have been in this field long enough, you wud realize that in general money matters are sensitive matters. For me, it doesn't have to be equally well being, but being reasonably self-sustainable shud at least be the bottom line, so you wont feel that u r a burden to the other.

Well, having said that, there are still some who are willing to share their wealth, the lucky one- u met a guy who is generous and truely love you, the realistic one, you met a sugar daddy and you ought to grab as much as possible before he lost interest in you and go for a younger and cuter guy.

So, anyway, its all about status with the $. Lately I have been thinking of looking at options to further study. IT and my current job is great, but i cant see how far it can go, unless I am thinking of moving up the management line, but then again, I am not sure if I am the bossy kind of person or even competitive enough. Thus further study. But the fact is, I am doing something I see more of a challenge than a passion. I know I need to earn more than now, be it for my parents old age or even my own life, but sometimes I also feel that I am being a little shallow cause I think saying that your profession is IT doesn't really make you seems so appealing...

And back to the question, should it be about what you want and what you like. Does being gay really make us wanna strive harder, be it for the $ or the $tatus. I feel excited and I have a good opportunity to try it next year. But on the other hand, I am not really sure if I can do well...

Is doing a job you truly like and flying high overated? that reality is simply strive really hard on what is more guaranteed?

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Another Manhattan Nite View,



Take living in this city for instance, how many people actually like what they are doing in this city, or merely just working because it pays them well enough to enjoy the luxury of this charming city?

Not so Notti, but Nice Christmas~~

This year Christmas is probably one of the best I ever had. Previous years, there are some uni celebration, but they are more like gathering and chatting, one year was at northern China, and then last year was... well was memorable... But this year, we started simple. A simple, warm dinner gathering where 3 full hour just past by without us noticing. When you enjoy it, it seems time really flies. Then it was heading to Tanjong Pagar, Play for the countdown. And this is when some notti part starts. It is fun to be with some crazy crowd in the club. Though have to struggle a little to protect my shirt being pull up, or keep fighting my way out of 2 person holding me from front and back making me dance... and also trying real hard to stand the effect of vodka, which I was made to finish off very quickly and end up getting really bad headache (not to mention 3 hour sleep that day)...

But all in all, it was fun. =D

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I came accross this song today, it has been a while since I listened to it, but i can actually hum along and know the lyrics...


On this holiday seasons, for all those with your special ones, give them hugs generously. Every single day you are together, or knowing that someone will still be there for you is a blessing...

Differences, and thus?

Scene 0

A : "... Can't we try to work things out..."

B : "...take for example you like horror movies, I like romance, we are just so different, we really dun have much in common, there is nothing we can talk about.."

Scene 1

A+ : " ... I notice you like to read too, have you heard of this author... "

B+ : " Err... not really... "

A+ : " Wow, then we have got a lot to talk about... "

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A chat with a friend inspired me on the second dialogue. Indeed, he showed me a different way to look at differences. Afterall being human, it is impossible to be 100% the same. And how you handle the differences is really a matter of how much you value the relationship.

We are blood-link with our family, we don't have a choice, we have to accept them for who they are. Friends or colleague on the other hand comes and goes. If we have differences that we don't agree on, it's probably easier to just move separate ways. But lover, your companion, someone you once vowed to protect and support, as we move on in life, there are bound to be differences because of the experiences we have in life. And how we tackle this differences is really how much we valued the other person. Most of the time, we tend to see it as a negative sign, that probably fate is telling you that both of you don't belong together. But have you tried to look at it in an optimistic way, that it is actually a new spark in your relationship to have more interaction, to learn from each other? No one knows everything, and no one can always be right. Why not keep an open mind? especially to someone whom u love?

Well, you may say that Scene 1 usually happen on new couple or newly met friends, where grudge level is 0 and tolerance level is infinite, true, but still, it is about setting our own mindset and making an effort isn't it?

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Harbour to Staten Island, one of the Southern most point in Manhattan


It was freeeeeeeezing because of the wind from the sea... for the first time i feel the need of hoodie..

My Fan Club

First, the crowd...


See how excited they are?? And guess who are they cheering for?????
..
..
..

Me!!! =p
And here is the proof, there is my name on it!

Although in reverse order... I have to hire a better coordinator next time..

Okay... just kidding... All this started out from when I joined, I mentioned my favourite weekend activity is Karaoke. Somehow, people would interpret that as "CP can sing well" I mean there is no logical link right? There are people who love to sing karaoke but sounds scary, I mean look at ... okay I shouldn't mention the name, but there is. =p

Anyway, my fellow teammates registered me for the competition and in the end I only got 3rd place.. stupid karaoke machine... If only I werent the first one to go up I probably might have gotten the 1st prize.. 200SGD!!!

O well, it was fun... and I am the only one with fan club... hehe... Gosh, I love my dear MAs..

Speechless

I always thought Lady Gaga's song is all about repeating a single syllable, po-po-po ra-ra-ra pa-pa--pa-parazzi... and mostly club-dance hit kind of songs.

Until recently I got to known of this, she actually has a song that is quite emo and meaningful...



Speechless...

"..You never talked again... you left me speechless..."

What is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship? That you hate each other? that you have doubt and keep quarreling? Or that you start throwing things at each other and cursing at the same time? Well, those are bad enough, but imagine, 2 person reaching a stage where either one or both feel so tired to even talk, or there is nothing much left to be said... and the only thing left when you see each other is staring at each other speechless. Cause there is really nothing left to be said, except to turn and walk apart...

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Well, I know the song has a whole different meaning altogether, but seeing the name kinda reminds me of some moments that we once had. I can still remember the day, we sat at the restaurant for 4 hours.

It started as a really casual lunch, we talked about anything but our problem. But as lunch ended, and more people left, we knew we couldn't avoid it any more, we talked about what happened, it just seems to go all over again, and eventually, we realize we are back to square one, the problem still exists, nothing has changed. We have been left speechless. Cause deep down we know, the only obvious way, at least at the moment, for both is to move apart.....

I took this photo to replace the photo of us both that I used to set as my phone wallpaper. It was the last meal we had together as a couple. With his tea on the left and mine on the right. We didn't even have much couple photo for the one whole year together. And i just feel like I wanted to keep something that will remind me of the moments we had together. The last moment we shared together...