I mean something i believe strongly and write here might still look like a joke to someone who had seen more in life.. and probably few more years down the road myself i wud laugh at my own thoughts too.. but thats growing up i guess.
U see and learned, nvm the foolishness, nvm the silly things, its the right we own while growing up.. Of course, repeated mistake should be avoided, else that wud be called erm.. say.. stupid?
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So today, when i had a heated arguement with a friend. During which he realized i was really pissed and started to apologize and explain his behaviour and also kinda confessed something. Which i would have soften if not for him added this one reminder line at the end.
"But just don't go tell anyone"
When u r heated up, u r rightfully allow to be less tolerant isn't it? So immediately I replied,
"U dun have and shud not have told me, especially if u still need to mention the last reminder"
Well, to be fair, many times I myself reminded others to not spread something after i told them about it... And i believe many does that too.. But after I said that myself, I realized how true it was, I mean if u dun trust someone, dun tell them, If u hav decided to trust someone and confess, then dun doubt them, else being the one listening (espcially when u r heated up) it makes one feel offended easily, like if dun trust me, why bother telling? Its not like i need or am interested in it, i didnt even ask u about it..
So i actually learned this little lesson myself, or at least will be more thoughtful of this, if i decided to share something, I will not doubt them (to say "dun tell others k?") else, i just simply wont bother telling..
25 years and still counting... No wonder dad encourages me to read more, its actually an express way to feel more in less time.
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Suddenly I missed Ipoh food soo much...
And surprise to see how much longer my hair had grown since then.. haa..
i feel that by expressing that last sentence , you are just stating your preference on the matter , whether to keep it private or not .or was it just another way to clear the grey area, preventing any future misunderstanding , because to the person you are telling a secret to , it might be something common which doesnt matter if it is shared in a yum cha session , but to u it might mean the whole world , and a public secret is definitely the last thing you want . It might not be a bad idea to state the degree of confidentiality you might expect in order to keep things simple and less tricky to prevent such misunderstanding .
ReplyDeleteHey Mark, nice song u have in ur blog... The Promise..
ReplyDeleteWell I have to admit I was heated when I first thought about this. And it indeed depends on the situation of how it was told and the nature of the secret. But notice how the line was phrase
"But just don't go tell anyone"
It implies I have a big mouth for one. And I didn't ask the person about it.. that's for another.. Thus I was pissed like 2nd time.
But still, thinking back of how I sometimes have to tell someone to "dun tell others", well they actually dun really need to know, which is why I wrote this..
But i do get your point. Just different view on it.. =)
By telling someone, you always run the risk of having it repeated somewhere. As the person telling, we can only hope that the person really understands what "in confidence" means. And as the listener, we should be mindful that things already repeated cannot be recalled.
ReplyDeleteOn a related note, it is implied that anything you tell KH will be known to me, unless specifically-stated. LOL
It's okay Will, information to KH is on a need-to-know basis.. u nvr hear the juicy bits from him right? Cause he dun know either... hehe..
ReplyDelete