Thursday, December 30, 2010

About 2010

I guess this is a nice time to do a reflection on this year. Although most of the important things has been blogged here. So i was just recalling whats the best and most dissappointing that happened.

Best:
And most exiciting, I had the longest flight ever in my life to half way across the globe, out of asia, to a total foreign land. I have seen US. I have met dad in real, after being apart for a good 10 years. I have shopped like no next time (which is kinda true when u see no as not any sooner again). I have seen the Big Apple, the SATC come true and also as a place where mom and dad had both worked in order to raised us up. And all these because of a fortunate encounter with this job, with a supportive boss. I cant think of anything better than this in 2010.

Worst:
I probably sigh on this enuf of times... But the fact is I am still a failure in relationship. zbe it i havent met with the right person, of i simply am not good at dealing with one. But nothing really nice happened. Many encounters, but none ended up as a long term rs... I still failed in this.

2011, some plans going in mind while some hopes too as ever... May it be better than this year and may I havwe the determination to live it up too..

*********************************

I asked for ice water from toastbox, of course for a regular they wont charge anything. But...

I wonder why they give me hot water and a plate of ice.. i was struggling to quench my thirst..

-CP @ 31Dec2010

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

House Hunting

Or more precisely room hunting. In this little island, "house" itself seems to be a luxury term. My best mate working in Kedah as an Intel Engineer is renting an entire house, and it probably cost bout half of what I am paying now for HALF A ROOM.

Anyway, been trying to get a decent room that compromises of
Location: Not too far from central (say 20-30 mins public transport)
Type: Attached Bath (typically master room) or Studio
Condition: With Air Con (that's about all I really die to have for now)

Basically just these, and my budget is around 600-800 sgd. But the realistic price for the above mention condition could range from 750 (government flat studio for single senior citizens with crappy condition) to 5000 (for condo studios) and the average pvt studios are around 1500-2000. And even more shock to realize that some common room (share toilet) can cost from 700 (again, govn flat) to 1000!!

This is totally ridiculous... I really dun intend to continue sharing a room and live so far from office/town but this gets really depressing to look (for houses) and look again (at my own salary)...

Maybe I should seriously consider weekend escort jobs. Afterall i need to kill time for weekend nites, might as well make full used of it...

**************************************************

There was a news lately on a karaoke girl gettin 800sgd per nite.

I wonder how much this can be priced...

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Gay $tatus

The pink dollar, it is definitely one significant chunk of money that whoever(country leader) plays ignorant will just loose out their share.

And it just gives out an impression that Gays or Lesbians are generally well being, determined to success, high powered group of people. The fact? well, I suppose so, I mean for one, couples who don't have kids obviously have more to spend. And from there, we know all we earn is all we are gonna have for our old days, no offspring watsoever to sponsor us, so better to have more than less, thus the determination.

Also, being gay, being rather shallow at times, gay have a tendency to seek someone so call "compatible". If you have been in this field long enough, you wud realize that in general money matters are sensitive matters. For me, it doesn't have to be equally well being, but being reasonably self-sustainable shud at least be the bottom line, so you wont feel that u r a burden to the other.

Well, having said that, there are still some who are willing to share their wealth, the lucky one- u met a guy who is generous and truely love you, the realistic one, you met a sugar daddy and you ought to grab as much as possible before he lost interest in you and go for a younger and cuter guy.

So, anyway, its all about status with the $. Lately I have been thinking of looking at options to further study. IT and my current job is great, but i cant see how far it can go, unless I am thinking of moving up the management line, but then again, I am not sure if I am the bossy kind of person or even competitive enough. Thus further study. But the fact is, I am doing something I see more of a challenge than a passion. I know I need to earn more than now, be it for my parents old age or even my own life, but sometimes I also feel that I am being a little shallow cause I think saying that your profession is IT doesn't really make you seems so appealing...

And back to the question, should it be about what you want and what you like. Does being gay really make us wanna strive harder, be it for the $ or the $tatus. I feel excited and I have a good opportunity to try it next year. But on the other hand, I am not really sure if I can do well...

Is doing a job you truly like and flying high overated? that reality is simply strive really hard on what is more guaranteed?

**********************************************

Another Manhattan Nite View,



Take living in this city for instance, how many people actually like what they are doing in this city, or merely just working because it pays them well enough to enjoy the luxury of this charming city?

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Not so Notti, but Nice Christmas~~

This year Christmas is probably one of the best I ever had. Previous years, there are some uni celebration, but they are more like gathering and chatting, one year was at northern China, and then last year was... well was memorable... But this year, we started simple. A simple, warm dinner gathering where 3 full hour just past by without us noticing. When you enjoy it, it seems time really flies. Then it was heading to Tanjong Pagar, Play for the countdown. And this is when some notti part starts. It is fun to be with some crazy crowd in the club. Though have to struggle a little to protect my shirt being pull up, or keep fighting my way out of 2 person holding me from front and back making me dance... and also trying real hard to stand the effect of vodka, which I was made to finish off very quickly and end up getting really bad headache (not to mention 3 hour sleep that day)...

But all in all, it was fun. =D

************************************************

I came accross this song today, it has been a while since I listened to it, but i can actually hum along and know the lyrics...


On this holiday seasons, for all those with your special ones, give them hugs generously. Every single day you are together, or knowing that someone will still be there for you is a blessing...

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Differences, and thus?

Scene 0

A : "... Can't we try to work things out..."

B : "...take for example you like horror movies, I like romance, we are just so different, we really dun have much in common, there is nothing we can talk about.."

Scene 1

A+ : " ... I notice you like to read too, have you heard of this author... "

B+ : " Err... not really... "

A+ : " Wow, then we have got a lot to talk about... "

*******************************************************

A chat with a friend inspired me on the second dialogue. Indeed, he showed me a different way to look at differences. Afterall being human, it is impossible to be 100% the same. And how you handle the differences is really a matter of how much you value the relationship.

We are blood-link with our family, we don't have a choice, we have to accept them for who they are. Friends or colleague on the other hand comes and goes. If we have differences that we don't agree on, it's probably easier to just move separate ways. But lover, your companion, someone you once vowed to protect and support, as we move on in life, there are bound to be differences because of the experiences we have in life. And how we tackle this differences is really how much we valued the other person. Most of the time, we tend to see it as a negative sign, that probably fate is telling you that both of you don't belong together. But have you tried to look at it in an optimistic way, that it is actually a new spark in your relationship to have more interaction, to learn from each other? No one knows everything, and no one can always be right. Why not keep an open mind? especially to someone whom u love?

Well, you may say that Scene 1 usually happen on new couple or newly met friends, where grudge level is 0 and tolerance level is infinite, true, but still, it is about setting our own mindset and making an effort isn't it?

***************************************************

Harbour to Staten Island, one of the Southern most point in Manhattan


It was freeeeeeeezing because of the wind from the sea... for the first time i feel the need of hoodie..

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

My Fan Club

First, the crowd...


See how excited they are?? And guess who are they cheering for?????
..
..
..

Me!!! =p
And here is the proof, there is my name on it!

Although in reverse order... I have to hire a better coordinator next time..

Okay... just kidding... All this started out from when I joined, I mentioned my favourite weekend activity is Karaoke. Somehow, people would interpret that as "CP can sing well" I mean there is no logical link right? There are people who love to sing karaoke but sounds scary, I mean look at ... okay I shouldn't mention the name, but there is. =p

Anyway, my fellow teammates registered me for the competition and in the end I only got 3rd place.. stupid karaoke machine... If only I werent the first one to go up I probably might have gotten the 1st prize.. 200SGD!!!

O well, it was fun... and I am the only one with fan club... hehe... Gosh, I love my dear MAs..

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Speechless

I always thought Lady Gaga's song is all about repeating a single syllable, po-po-po ra-ra-ra pa-pa--pa-parazzi... and mostly club-dance hit kind of songs.

Until recently I got to known of this, she actually has a song that is quite emo and meaningful...



Speechless...

"..You never talked again... you left me speechless..."

What is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship? That you hate each other? that you have doubt and keep quarreling? Or that you start throwing things at each other and cursing at the same time? Well, those are bad enough, but imagine, 2 person reaching a stage where either one or both feel so tired to even talk, or there is nothing much left to be said... and the only thing left when you see each other is staring at each other speechless. Cause there is really nothing left to be said, except to turn and walk apart...

*************************************************

Well, I know the song has a whole different meaning altogether, but seeing the name kinda reminds me of some moments that we once had. I can still remember the day, we sat at the restaurant for 4 hours.

It started as a really casual lunch, we talked about anything but our problem. But as lunch ended, and more people left, we knew we couldn't avoid it any more, we talked about what happened, it just seems to go all over again, and eventually, we realize we are back to square one, the problem still exists, nothing has changed. We have been left speechless. Cause deep down we know, the only obvious way, at least at the moment, for both is to move apart.....

I took this photo to replace the photo of us both that I used to set as my phone wallpaper. It was the last meal we had together as a couple. With his tea on the left and mine on the right. We didn't even have much couple photo for the one whole year together. And i just feel like I wanted to keep something that will remind me of the moments we had together. The last moment we shared together...

Monday, December 20, 2010

Gay will always be gay

I was arriving at our office train station and while exiting the station, a girl with huge eyes was staring at me and smile. I smile back to be polite though my expression could have been saying, "hmm, u look familiar but i have no idea who u r"

So the rest of the way to office i kept thinking, who cud that be. She is definitely pretty, and on top of that those huge big eyes are really beautiful. Then it occur to me cud it be my colleague's girlfriend who i bumped into once? She also has those huge big eyes and i have complimented on that before. But later on when I am in office, my colleague simply confirmed that it wasn't her... And then, halfway thru the nite, Ding! She is the reception at my gym!

Gosh, I almost see her like 80% of the time I go to gym, yet I couldn't remember her immdiately, while on the other hand, I am damn sure I can remember every single Male Personal Trainer I have laid my eyes on in the gym. All the more the hunky ones.. =p

I guess gay will always be gay, our attention is always on males especially the gorgeous ones, female on the other hand, no matter how pretty or beautiful, it just passes thru our mind like get filtered off and non-existence... I just proved to myself I am such a true gay.. haa..

*****************************************************

Evening Market @ Union Square, NYC


Actually, I am not really sure what I was doing, but dad caught the snap shot... Am I that hungry?

Sunday, December 19, 2010

One Year

I suppose typically when we look back in time, we would feel time flies, afterall every second past is 1 second less in our lives? Although I cant say I have been expecting this day as much as last year....

2009, this day was probably one of the most important day in the entire year. It was the day that determines if things would go back to normal or.. the end. It was the day that prooves if what all my friends has said against 2 months 28 days was true or solely my own silly belief. It was also the day where one is allow to talk to someone he misses so much after a good 2 months and 28 days apart, despite they are so near.

Then one year has passed, this year, there isn't really much to look forward. Well, it feels just like any other day although secretly, I do wished there is someone who is gonna remember... But again, lesser expectations seems to be always the best policy?

Anyway, a reflection of this past one year has been a lot of time spending on searching what should have came naturally. It is a year of a lot of fun yet little achievement in several ways. Hopefully this new year, am gonna try to make a different. Afterall, it is us who is responsible to make ourselves important in life. Not by how much other people value you.

For my family and for myself, am gonna make a real effort to see this change happen...

**************************************************

One of the best nite view around Manhattan...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The 1 who makes U Smile



I have always love this song, and this is the main reason I bought a second Original Album this year. Even just this song itself was worth it....

Sometimes in a relationship, we fall into a situation where we are busy, stressing, grieving to salvage our relationship, we simply feel a great relief when even things seems to be getting better. We beg, we cry, we have doubt, we shout at eaach other, we keep on apologizing, we keep changing ourselves to meet the other's people demand... eventually wearing oneself just to earn a nod an approval on the other's person face and we feel.. phew, at least he is comin back to me again.

But... what happen to smile? What happen to the loving person who used to always want to put a smile on yourself? rather, what we have now is someone who want us to behave as he wishes to "keep" him? What happen to being HAPPY with the person you love? .. and suppose to love you too...?

I still remember when I used to be a 80+ kg boy, I always put a smile on my face, no matter who I see.. cause that's the best thing a fat boy can do to make himself less annoying... (for some reason, it seems u annoy other easily..). And it kinda work, at least most people kindly return a smile. And I carry this habit all the way until I lost the weight to somewhere like now, yet still carrying the same habit and smiling always. Someone even once asked me, why are u always smiling? Well I am not sad, I simply say... Only until my first relationship, I realize i frown, more than I smile towards the end. And I have forgottten or either too busy to move my lips... Well, until much later when I heard this song again, that reminds me I should smile more...

A smile, not only it cheers u up, it makes other people's day too, all other people who might just accidentally caught a glance of you. I am sure a smile is always a nice thing to see... and you might not know what luck it will bring you, so why not right? So whenever you are down, always lift your chin, broaden your lips a little, look into the mirror and put a smile on, you DO deserve to be happy. Yes we all do..

=D

********************************************

The talented one... hmph...

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Always A Choice

Okay, I was furious, like super pissed. I sacrifice my 2 hour (out of like 5) sleep only to go all the way to town to be canceled off?

Though on second thought, it doesn't seems to be my friend fault that it is bloody raining and the road here are still jammed. (and you would wonder where all those cars come from when in this little island country u have to pay like extra SGD 50,000 on top of what u have to pay for a normal car). But still, i feel really annoyed at that point. Like keep grudging on why cant he has left the house earlier. why cant he take the train etc etc..

But as I walk about a bit, and think of the later event, it kinda dawn on me that, what happened, happened. Which is true isn't it? Not like we can change anything by keeping grudge or cursing the person. In fact it just seems to make our mood worse for the rest of the day, which could have been sunny, be it to yourself or to the person who look at u, by simply putting back a smile on your own face. Right?

Seems like a lot of times in life, we always have a choice. But we are too obsessed with the negative thoughts that we ignore what could have made us happier.

Obssesion, we always have a better choice...

************************************************

I really enjoy this place, every photo makes my mouth twitched again...

Central Park @ Manhattan

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Sagi - The Archer, The Centaur

I always thought horoscope or any fortune telling are crap. How can u group people into like 12 category? It just doesn't make sense. But later on, as I grew older and read more about my own sign, I looked at it the other way, generalization can happen, I mean i can easily divide human being in 2 main group. The one with a piece of meat dangling between the thighs and the one without. Right?

I am not sure if I like my own star, the good side, it is a supportive, easy-going, and obviously good-friend characteristic (I read all this from somewhere). And true enough, if i like someone being a friend, i am all out to him. But on the other hand, Sagi is also very emotional. Some sites say it is very hard to keep the heart of centaur, cause they like to explore and try different things, and sometimes being a horse-related star, they have the tendency to have more needs.... hmm i have of hung like .... but do they relate horniness to it too? anyway, well true, to some extend, they are kinda wild but not desperately random. They can fall for something very easily, yet they will be with it loyally until something changes. I mean it, i can have the same breakfast EVERYDAY for months and sometimes even years. Ask the toastbox auntie @ vivo basement for proof...

But the down side, is also the easily emotional Sagi, we fall easily not just for the body, but mentally too... At least that's me i think... This is somethign I am still working on... not sure if every Sagi is like this but it is not something good.. while other is still, considering, taking it one step at a time, this sagi already think about getting married and settling down someone and read sunday morning paper together... This is probably freaky to some right? Well... still working on this little self-control, but blame it to the emo-ish side!

I really wonder if most Sagi are like that.. or just me..

***************************************************

The Archer, The Centaur



Toys r'us @ Times Square, and yup, that's a real ferris wheel in the shop..So cool!!

Monday, December 13, 2010

I want to love him

林俊杰 - 我很想爱他


When I was listening through this album, this song somehow caught my intention. In fact it touches me, really deeply...

"...The sky is raining, and he is holding an umbrella beside me. However, i don't feel the bliss, because I saw the smile on his face was reluctant...

I want to love him, but my eyes are lying, should I hide it? so the relationship wouldn't become complicated?

I really want to love him, however, my senses are arguing against me, should I just give up? ... who can give me an answer?

...

It seems that Love has thought us that, we both could never let go..."

I still remember earlier a friend has told me that a song is talking exactly what he feels. In fact, reading back my older post, I wrote that seems like in a broad sense, relationship is almost the same, when problem arises, you would easily relate it to any of this love songs. At least for the chinese ones... His encounter just shows that it really seems so...

When I heard this song, it just brings back the memory of how u wanted to love someone, yet it just keeps making you feeling more pain than happiness. All your senses are telling you that you are not truly happy. Yet you shut them all up, paralyse yourself and convinced that you both are still smiling. A smile you force onto your face to tell him you are Too, happy...

But even the writer has doubt, if backing out is the best solution? Who can tell? And love has thought us one thing, that letting go is the hardest thing u can do, when you are in a relationship, Samantha's theory, Half the time. Imagine 7 years... so, that would mean u spend a good 10 years on a fruitless relationship?

I guess the way the writer wrotes this, it seems that no one can say for sure what is the best way... Maybe, the very fact that he is still willing to fake a smile to tell you he is happy, shows he does have feeling, shows he is still concern... Maybe the very fact that you are willing to play ignorant, means you are willing to tolerate? And probably, backing out should be the last resort, at least when both had been serious in it...

The beautiful thing about love, I guess, is that it is a subjective question...

***********************************************

This yea, I actually bought 2 albums, surprisingly. At this rate i probably will increase to 3 next year... (Gosh, I am buying orginal albums and making it as if it is a big deal, how corrupted our mind is.. =p )

Anyway, this is the second alum by JJ. Honestly, he might not be the most handsome but I am more than ready to marry someone of this kind of talent and can sing like this. Heart simply melts...


-South Street Seaport

Friday, December 10, 2010

Promotion!!!

I know I shop quite a bit, but by promotion here I don't mean buy 1 get 1. I mean Job promotion!!!

Okay, its not exactly a big deal, cause someone else from our team (of about 30) has already gotten this, but that was because they were kinda "asking" the manager about it. Whereas ours came as a surprise during our weekly meeting with our US managers. But we all agree that eventually eveyrone will be promoted as a 1 year completion of the program.

Anyway, hearing this "Congratulations, you have been promoted to..." from my boss for the first time in my whole life still kinda gives me the thrill!!! ^^ i feel like screaming, Yes! Yes! Yes!... Woohooo!!!!

Though they didn't mention bout pay raise but hopefully next march when they are doing the review? Though it's not so hopeful on one hand, like they just laid off 10% of the US workforce.. which means... those money will come to us? Yes! It has to be...

**************************************************


Hard Rock Cafe @ New York Times Square..

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Up-Down and Up Again



For a friend, let it hit hard this time, learned from it, and move on, always a worthy someone ahead.. like u always tell me to believe..

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

KL - A Variety? (guys of course)

Apart from the main mission to see my bro during the KL trip, there were some extra gains too, well merely viewing pleasure but still, I hardly stay in KL, so its pretty eye-opening.

I stay in Cititel for a night, so naturally Mid-Valley megamall was where we spend most of the time. And on a side note, Topman is officially a gay shop to me now, world wide (I have only seen New York, SG, KL but good enough to reach that conclusion). So anyway, I kinda notice that KL guys, gay guys to be precise, kinda comes in a wider variety. Its merely a feeling, I mean from my one day stay there, but it just feel different from Singapore. Singapore gay guys in general comes in 2 category, the tanned, muscular, gym-toned, short haired, immaculately dressed which most of the time good to look but gives out an intimidating and distant feeling unless you are in the same league- non-so-approachable. Second kind, feminish. Just personal preference, no offence, I am not particular interested in this group but its pretty obvious in the gay scene they make up quite a group.

Okay, the point here is they kinda go to extreme ends, its like competition or peer pressure kinda push people to groom themselves to the best in their category, and make them all very similar, yet similarly unapproachable. Like too good to be real. Wheares in KL, i notice there are many that feels "REAL". Yup, they are gays, Obviously, they can even be handsome, good looking, cute in their very own more-natiural way. That is to say not extremely 6-packish or has a smooth-like-porcelain face which u know credits goes to SK-II and dress up in million-dollar labels (or maybe NUM label). They kinda comes in a wider range like, attire: good to say gay but not scream LOUD or overly posh, face: no make up or concealer, hair: all sorts, not just army-short or taiwanese-idolish etc. etc... They are more like real people and gives u the impression, "hey, I might have chance" kind of feeling..

I am not sure if this could just be an illusion or after all these years, I still couldn't mix into the local well... but to be frank, malaysian still feels more down to earth... dont they?

**********************************************

Okay, it has been all talk and pretty subjective.. Now, example of Real-Approachable-Down-to-earth kind of lengzai, born and breed in Malaysia lengzai-town - Ipoh

Times Square @ New York... gosh, i still miss it..

Monday, December 6, 2010

Double hot chocolate

Okay, its suppose to be hot double chocolate, but i was so confident cause i bought it like just yesterday that i spilled the name out without a second thought and it was so embarassing when the coffee bean lady was laughing and correcting me... *blush*

Anyway, things at least seems fine for now, though really depends on like 2 weeks from now but finger cross.. i can only hope for best. But still, something my mom told me when my bro wasn't around make me feel that this trip was totally worth it.

(in mandarin, but translated..)

Mom: You know, i was so worried that night when ur bro cried so hard, like he cannot control even himself..

Me: yea, mom i was worried too, do you remember when was the last time he cry?

(mom shook her head, obviously my bro really dun cry much)

Mom: but luckily you decided to come back, u know he was so gloomy all day, didnt talk much, and until you say u want to come to kl too he looks better, then that morning when we r packing he (my bro) was even humming a song!
(mom does look relief saying this)

Well, not just mom, i was relief too when we parted, for one, i guess it wasnt as bad as he imagined and secondly, i guess although it was short, it was a rather pleasant trip.. (well money can buy a little happiness i guess.. but o well..) and we were with him to check the results, some moral support and reasurance i guess?

still hoping for the best in 2 weeks time.. finger crossed..

**********************************

Last time was starbuck black coffee and dan brown's lost symbol. This time round is my 'double hot chocolate' and Lauren Weisberger's Chasing Harry Winston. Huh? Who? well, you'r probably more familiar with 'the devil wears prada' ? I definitely am..

Friday, December 3, 2010

Bad Day just Got Worse

When I wrote the blog on a bad day, i really thought that's about it for a day. But as a chinese saying goes, plans can never catch up with changes. Who would have thought I am gonna hit by another wave that totally makes me feel so helpless, in fact to a point I am worried too... but yet, I have to act as if nothing happened and say "Dun worry, We are all here for you, dun cry.."

A person whom I couldn't remember when was the last time I saw him cry, has broke down on the phone. It realy scares me... For a moment, it did makes me feel upset because it seems like my plan to further study could have been affected. But then again, he is my only brother, and it is not like money is really that important, not that I need to save for a flat, save up for a marriage. study plans can always wait I suppose. And I guess an advantage being gay, you have minimal doubts when splashing on your only family members, wat's urs is urs...

So much for the weekend plans... well, seeing KL for a night isn't that bad i guess?

Hectic weekend here it goes!

************************************************

Still a Bad day...




Will I have a romance like this if I survive this?

Thursday, December 2, 2010

The Karma Cycle

Break a heart, heart broken, break another heart, heart get tossed around, pounded, thrashed, stabbed and broken into million pieces... and then tomorrow, here we go again. I call it, the Karma Cycle.

Actually, maybe I should call it the Gay Karma Cycle...

No matter how hard you try to avoid, but somehow your heart seems to be sending signal that he is not the one... heart broken. It just seems to go around and around, it is painful, all the more you feel guilty, when someone falls for you but you know you couldn't accept... and then Deja Vu, the next thing you know, you are getting urself drunk over a guy who tell you he doesn't see a future with you..

It's just not meant to be... whoever invented this line should be hanged, you gave reason for people to give up... and countless broken heart. I never want to hear this line again, I really wish I never have to...

*********************************************

Hardly a good day...



I am not greedy, either the one who can paint or the one who can play piano would do...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Vain vs Real

What type of guys do you like?

Not an uncommon question to get (or we might be the one asking) if meeting people online is the way we get to know gay friends.

We always have our fantasy of a guy who has a looks, build, charm that satisfy our physical fantasy, say we call them Handsome. But apart from that, there is also another kind of quality we seek which is the personality that loves you, adores you, kind, protective and most importantly understands you, the kind of ideal Prince guys. And just a note, looks are subjectives, so is the personality, I am just saying in general, which means everyone has a different image of their Handsome and Prince.

In our dream of course we always want both, which is a Handsome Prince. But we know Handsome Prince is more like the story where a person is asked to picked a big rock from a field and keep believing there will be bigger one in front until he reaches the other end of it EMPTY-HANDED.

So in reality, if we are lucky, we probably might end up with one, either the Handsome or the Prince. Handsome, meaning we adores them (mostly because of the look), prince of course the other way round. Which do you think is more important? One that your heart tells you that you will love him and stay loyal to him or the other that you know very well that you enjoy his sincerity and you know he is reliable, except your heart probably will sway from time to time another Handsome comes by your life until one day, maybe you are truly convinced you are happy with your Prince. (Is that even possible?)

It is totally a problem of being vain and being real, and your heart struggling to convinced yourself that you knew one is better than the other, but which one?

****************************************

One Bryant Park - The place where I probably will be working if I am employed in New York. It's literally a stone throw away from Time Square, like you can throw a stone and really hit some tourist having coffee out there on the street...

I WANT TO WORK THERE!!!