Tuesday, November 30, 2010

You hang up; No, you first!

This is probably one of those honeymoon period and best case scenario to end a phone call with your beloved. You don't even bother about the extra minutes that's ticking on your bill.

After a usual conversation, who is the one that usually hangs up? The one who made the call? cause it is on his bill? Well maybe, but lets say the couple is slightly beyond this $$ minded. So who? The one who is more task-oriented, organized? well again, this is about personality, where some people are indeed very organized and efficient, like okay, I have called and spoken to my dear, so item checked and next is to brush my teeth. Fair enough, these are probably one of those who will always hang up first, cause they don't like to waste time and their life is always full of unfinished tasks and time is always a luxury to them. Of course there are other special cases like one is in a hurry, or one is extremely tired OR... cant wait to watch animation.(Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real person or incident or personal experience is purely coincidental.)

I cant help but notice that apart from the above mention "exceptions" the one who usually hangs up in a conversation is the one who is loved more. Or in another words, the one who hold on to the phone beside the ear and waits till the click sound that indicates the other has hang up, is typically the one who puts more into the relationship or he simply love the other person more. Well, very much personal experience.. The feeling is simply: "I just want to make sure he has nothing else to tell me." Its just the affection to the other person, the attachment and the fondness for your love ones.

But.. i guess that's the part one would enjoy, afterall the whole point of being young, being silly, being romantic... But if you are the one who always hangs up, gives this a little thought and maybe.. be the one who hang on once in a while? He probably would be really surprise and delighted..


Thought of using Lady Gaga's Telephone, but it's just really not my style..

"But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you..."

I never realize till recently the last 2 lines of this song is so touching...


Sunday, November 28, 2010

From Lion City, with LOVE

The weekend was... extreme, in the sense of getting sleep. Saturday was like, I manage to sleep 3 hours before I went out for friend's birthday dinner. Then sunday was like i sleep as if I am bed ridden.. =s

So Saturday we went for watch shopping before the dinner to get the bday boy his gift. The unexpected thing was, I bought this AIX watch that I have been eye-ing and then Will's dear suggested that might as well make it my bday gift...

Well.. I wanted to say no la... but then, they insisted.. and it was really lovely! I totally like it (well, i did choose it myself =p, but still..) Thanks guys. ^^

I find myself enjoying these company a lot. A group of gay friends, couples, and best of all, a lot of Malaysians.. It was always enjoyable and things click easily. Hanging out with them kinda makes me see "real" relationships and how every couple can be different, yet it is still more serious than any flings I have seen in clubs. There are mature couples, like the chinese description of "old husband, old wife" , then the long distance, yet always wats-apping couple, it's amazing, distance seems to be shorten (at least a little) by technologies, stable and loving as usual. And also a younger couple, bickering at times but still, we learn to live together i suppose?

Gay relationship has never been easy, yet there are still many who are seriously making an effort. Those who claims gay relationship are never serious, I guess they just havent tried hard enough or they are just looking for excuses for pleasures?

Fate bring people together, but its the heart and the mind that make LOVE happens.

Its a feeling, and even more a choice...

Friday, November 26, 2010

Blog - It is actually a Diary

Just stating the obvious. But there are probably some younger gen who never thought about how blogging got its name. To them and the future gen, its probably like why would I ask how come the first meal of the day is called "breakfast"? I suppose I am one of those who grow up in the era to see computer boom, and actually read an article on newspaper about blog is actually web log and how it was then used by some creative people as e-diary. (Again , diary is a diary, how many would ask about the origin of the word right?)

Okay, after all these, I have recently got this realization that, "oh yea, my blog is actually my diary, like you know if i write it in a notebook or real diary, a tangible one..". Why this sudden thought? Well, another question, since it "could" have been a tangible diary, have you ever thought how much you have written all these years? like how many diaries it would have been?

Well, recently a kind sir, who told me my blog entries are pretty lengthy, so he actually printed out to take home to read, and it is actually close to 600 pages long! I was stunned. I mean, it cud have been a book, 600 pages, that's already harry potter's thickest book standard. The length of course, not content.. =p Nothing to brag about as I have only been blogging for a year plus, but it is actually something you never realize.. thanks to the kind sir for discovering this.. and actually really printing it all..

Also, it reminds me, my dad has always been encouraging me to write diary, but I used to give up after a week... and now, 600 pages? life, you just never know...


Wall street bull ~

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Selective Amnesia

Or simply, choose to forget?

I remember once watching an animation series where a person has lost one part of memory in his life because the incident had traumatised him so badly that with all his will power, he manage to "lock" that part of his memory so deep that he really don't "know" about it until one day, a "key" (person or item) has been presented to him that force the memory out again.

It is pretty drama-fiction nature of course. But today, when I was trying to tell someone about the place my ex live and I used to visit, I actually couldn't remember the name. A place where I used to go every weekend for close to 9 months continuously. A place I once passed by everyday to go to work. I can remember the station before it, I can remember the station after it, but no matter how hard I try, I couldn't recall that particular station. Come to think of it, at that time, I have always feared to passed through that station, because on one hand I was hoping he will alight the train and I get to see him, but only ends up in dissapointment again and again. Which is why when I got into my new job at a different place, I felt such a relief to have finally be able to avoid that route. And to the extend I avoid going anywhere near there or having the need to pass through there.

And after a year, I actually forgotten about the place, well at least the name of the place. In some way, it does feel similar to the animation, fear, traumatized feeling that lead to "locking" up the memory, doesn't it?


Sky, Will, JJ... or anyone who reads this, I am planning a trip during CNY to take my mom and bro to Bangkok, am looking at the hotel options now and wonder if you guys are familiar with any? First is the location, I can only remember Silom seems pretty nice, and on internet Sukhumvit seems pretty happening too though I couldn't remember and lastly Pratunam? My second concerns is I want a room or possibly suite that can fits 3, doesn't have to be utmost comfy but at least the hotel wouldn't "kacau" us (for the extra person) and my budget is up to about SGD120 a nite... possible? any suggestion?

Much appreciated...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Expectation - keep it low?

I remember when I took PMR, my school result was like in the 80+ in the school. Thus when I was getting my results it surprises me that I got straight A's. The same happen for STPM, when I was actually the best result in my school and made it to all the local chinese newspaper. (okay, technically not the best, but since only like 5 person took 5 subjects, which is one extra and I was the best among the 5 person. it "appears" I was the best that year)

All these surprises came when I least expected. And it seems a great way to take things, minimal dissapointment and you might even get surprises, like a bonus. Although on the other hand, it seems like we are always taught to set high goals, and isn't it natural to have high expectations too then?

Well all said, eventually it comes back to talk about "guys". It seems the best way to protect oneself is to expect lesset.. yet most of the time, you would start constructing images about the person u thought as potential. Is it even possible that you are interested in someone, spend time talking and yet keep a very low expectation about him? like being indifferent?

I really do doubt...


Smiles, in DC...

Monday, November 22, 2010

US Trip: Smile again?

US Trip was like about a month ago, like my bestie says, CP u have been back for less than a month... and yea I got myself into some mess again...

I was looking back at some photos, trying to recall those moments of seeing a totally new place and everything looks so interesting. And all those smiles are from the excitement, from the exploration, from the surprises from the contentment of seeing the foreign land, most importantly they are real, and not put up to tell others that I am fine..

I want to smile again, a real authentic one that comes from the heart, not my mind...

Saturday, November 20, 2010

First Kiss

I do not mean my first kiss, which come to think of it was more of curiosity and more like lips touching, rather than an action of passion... But i guess as long as ur lips touched it counts.

Here though, I actually mean first kiss at first meet up or encounter. And it always happen because he requested. Although eventually nothing much happen, but the moment the kiss happen it was really sweet, and I know these are moments I will cherish forever.

The first was my first bf, he came to visit my hostel room and so happens my roomie was out. We were playing nintendo ds and lying side by side. Out of sudden, he was looking at me and ask, "Can I kiss you?" , well, if i am honest enough, he wouldn't be in my room if I hadn't fancied him, so why would I say no? Then it happens...


"I'm gonna kiss you." He was firm and confident, but when he approached my face, he became shy and back off, and was blushing. He has the kind of look that when we meet up, I know I am in danger. It was just very charming, not perfect model handsome but charming enough for me to tell myself, yes he is the one... Of course in addition to talking to him for a while online. Before we parted that evening, he said that again, "I am gonna really kiss you, and this time I want you to reciprocrate." . Well, as if I am gonna dodge?


When all the first kisses ended in agony, I kinda thought it must be jinxed, so I keep telling myself, whatever u do, dont kiss a guy at first encounter... But he has to turn out to be a cute guy too. Tall and charming. And all the sweet words said after meeting up at least is safe right? I mean he sees u in real rather than base on ur photo and imagination then sweet-talking to the virtual you. So when he asked for a goodnite-kiss in somewhere near orchard road, I was kinda doubtful, for one, I just thought of the jinx and for another one, it is the public (though kinda corner and hidden). I didn't make a move, or say a thing but just a doubtful look. He glance around and before I can do anything, peck my lips...

My first bf, I had written enough here. As for Mr.I'm-gonna-kiss-you-now, he said something that makes me realize we wont have a future on the second day, at least not that he sees. It was really painful, really really painful after All the talks and building up the feeling of someone truly "compatible" in many ways...

Jinx? If the stastistics goes on, maybe I will really try to refrain myself harder... no matter how cute or charming.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Samantha Says:

Watching Sex and The City movie was like a love at first sight. Although I really enjoy this story of 4 ladies in New York, I never actually watched the drama. But a friend told me recently that Samantha once said: The formula for getting over a person is always half of the time you have been together. I guess it is kinda true, and I do admire Samantha's teachings (all her way towards love, relationship, and especially sex.. I guess =p).

I guess I am feeling much better, although I am still affraid to let my thoughts near it, but I guess this is getting better...

And most of all, I am still having this to remind me,

that, and I still believe strongly, it will come a day....

I still believe..

Monday, November 15, 2010

A friend, a family

"Thin, can I go to your place now, I dunno where I can go now..." my voice trembling, it was 3.45am, Monday...

"Huh, cp what happened, wat's wrong?" half-awake and in a shock state.

"I dunno where to go, can I go to your place..." My voice broke-down..


30 minutes later, I was crying in her room. She listened patiently and keep cheering me... All nite, I was sobbing, first the dissapointment feeling, and the feeling of low self esteem and eventually the fact that I actually have a friend, who I can call in the middle of the nite, and tell her things that even I cant talk to my family...

I couldn't be more grateful, for her taking me in the middle of the nite, when I really needed someone to talk to and be there. A friend, a family, no matter what the definition is, no matter what you call it, but I actually have someone I can go to, and lend a listening ear... thank you.. miss thin.. thank you..


The alcohol did help, but only for that moment, and it really makes you feel weak after u wake up... A hope and a hope crashed in a day, I hate being an emo Sagi, but I guess all is just fated...

All I want, is To Love You More..

All along, i just wanted to seek someone who I can tell him that, yet, after a year, I am still no where there...

Sunday, November 14, 2010

To be drunk

For once, i think i might appreciatw the effect of alcohol... i guess the aim to feel a pain in the head, is the answer to avoid thinking of something, at this very moment...

Lets see what this can do... sorry to those who cares... i am not doing something right, but it seems to hav started wrong.. just this once...

Friday, November 12, 2010

New York Trip: We are everywhere - Chinatown

I remember when I was young, my mom has told me a saying which sounds something like: "Wherever the sun shines, there will be Chinese". At that time, I totally believe it, although now I have a bit of reserve like what about artic and antartic? But still, it is a pretty convincing statement, and you have to admit chinese are indeed all around the world...

I first learned that New York City has 5 Boroughs from my Manager when he knows I am visiting the big apple, and the most popular one no doubt is Manhattan. The remaining are Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx and Staten Island (which you have to take a ferry to reach). I am not sure if it is right to say that there is a sort-a Chinatown in each borough but at least, I have seen 3 such a place, and of these 3 chinese communities, the largest is in Manhattan, which is the "Real" Chinatown...

To start with, one of the most noticeable landmark is this...

Our historic icon as well as a family with most connected descendents, Confucious. This statue stands in front of a huge residence call the Confucious building and is definitely a very nice location as it is just next to one of the bridges connecting Manhattan to Brooklyn which means one big side of the building has got amazing river view! And the residence are ALL Chinese..

I find the chinatown in Manhattan truely "chinatown" because it actually makes you feel like you are standing in a Hong Kong street or Shanghai street if there is no Caucasians or other races around.

All the sign boards are printed in Mandarin or Cantonese and some don't even bother printing English.. (O.o)

Everywhere you go, there is a huge chinese crowd, the only thing that doesn't feels right is probably the kids? Once they open their mouth, you know they are ABCs...

And to add another line to my mom's phrase, "Wherever the Sun shines, there will be Chinese; When there are Chinese, there will be Dim Sum!"
One of Manhattan oldest Dim Sum place, it was there when my mom was there like 15 years ago. And the food is good no doubt, I missed the stew beef sooo soo much!!!

Chinatown in Singapore and Malaysia looks like a joke after making this visit. But I guess you really have to be in a foreign culture, to be able to really appreciate a Real Chinese community. I wonder how European Chinatown looks like...


One of the things I enjoy seeing the most is these kind of buildingsm with a metal staircase build outside as fire escape. It is pretty unique to this City i notice. Not just in Chinatown, but many other places...

According to my dad, this is mostly due to all these buildings has been build way before all the safety guidelines has been put into the rules and laws. Again, we are looking at things that are more than hundred year old... And still standing firmly, truely impressive...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

New York Trip: A City, and More

Singapore has been putting a lot of effort to make the city "greener" for instance by planting some trees along the roadside and reserving certain parts of the "forest" which to be fair is happening in a lot of metropolitans. (not to mention some cities which has the space and land and yet not making much effort)

New York, a city that you relate to the rich, the glamorous, the young atmoshere, the latest technology, the busiest financial centre, the latest fashion, lady gaga, a city with more than 20 subway lines cutting accross each other or running parallel to each other, and a city that my uncle always remind me that has more than 100 years of history. Yet in this mega city, there are actually more to discover, in fact more "green" activities than you can imagine. I was looking back through these photos and actually manage to find 3 set of photos that are taken at different time of a day. So if you are thinking of a "green" day in new york, this is what you can do.

To start off, is the early morning park stroll. Although they call it a park, but it probably qualifies as a reservoir or something by Singapore standard.

Central Park is HUGE. It lies in the heart of Manhattan, with one end at the beginning of Plaza Hotel/ 5th Avenue and Apple signature store at the 59th street and the other end, well no idea, it crosses like 20+ streets (or maybe even more) and i didn't manage to cover it. But the idea is, it is a really nice park, with ice skating field, small lakes, bridges, a mini zoo and many many more. For tourist, you can even take a horse cariage ride around it. And like you can see in the photo, it is indeed in the heart of cities, look every direction u can see high rise buildings..

Then in the noon, you can walk towards downtown direction and about 48th street, 6th avenue, you will find yourself at the rockefeller centre where they have this ice skating place in the midst of tower buildings...

Some leisure if you can skate, even not, many lengzai to watch too... =p

And just around it, apart from the shops and more shops, it is not hard to get little gardens like this...

Furthermore, at lunch time, you will find many people who works in the office nearby sitting around here enjoying their lunch outdoors, cozy and comfy especially in a autumn day...

After this, keep walking further downtown and by the time you hit 14th street and Park avenue, you will find yourself in the middle of this evening market...

They sell practically all sorts of things, from vegetables (such as pumpkins as u see), fruits from farms, fresh homemade bakeries, cheese, milks, cooked food and even wine! (dad tasted some but he doesn't looke impressed =p). And at the union square, there are people playing chess, cycling, dancing, reading books lazing around... all kind of stuffs, no one cares what you do, and no busy crowd rushing for train or people shouting and talking aloud on phone, just a peaceful evening, again, in the middle of this city...

If you continue down, you will reach wall street and the real downtown financial centre and the southern point of manhattan...


Realistically though, 59th street to 14th street is a lot of walk, but one thing you can get conveniently and see a lot is this...

The Subway!

This, is definitely one of the most impressive system i have seen. And again like my uncle says, some may have been there for more than 100 years... wow...

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

New York Trip: Skyscraper

I was truly amaze with Manhattan for the skyline that you can actually see from any of the bridges linking it to the other parts of New York. Reason being? It is one of the longest I have seen. The entire Manhattan is full of high rise, tall buildings that lights up the entire Manhattan Island. I have seen Hong Kong, I have seen Shanghai and Singapore night scene, but New York by far is the most beautiful because it feels like there is no end to it...

Due to the fact my dad loves photography, we actually went to 2 of New York highest Skyscrapper, the Rockefeller-Top of the Rock and the more famous Empire State Building (my Dad can take photos for 2 hours up there on those buildings, and i kinda snooze off after 20 minutes of walk)

Well obviously Empire State building is much taller, just to give an idea, I went to top of the rock first and this is the view,

The tall building on the far right is the Empire State Building, which even from this pic, it looks taller.

And this is how it looks from Empire State building, practically nothing hindering it, and this side actually overlooks the south (downtown) of Manhattan all the way to wall street and the sea port..

Beautiful isn't it?

The first place I went was actually Top of the Rock, it was used for radio station back then, and till now, and this pic was taken at the highest spot of it. U can see all the "poles" poking out... and that's the highest point of this building..

And at the empire state building, I was kinda asking my dad,

Me: "Dad, is this taller than the Rockefeller centre?"

Dad: "Yea, this shud be the tallest building"

Me... = =" why did we spend like 40 bucks to go up to rockefeller to see the same thing, when in this one u see more..

Well the only difference is prob, at rockefeller, u hardly have to queue. But the Empire State Building, as u see in the pic below, takes like 2 hour to reach the lift, which takes u up to 80th floor to QUEUE for another lift... = ="

In case you think this looks familiar, yup, the Monster Gorrilla once was hitting helicopter off from this building...

This is how it looks, just 4 sides of walk way of this width, on the 86th floor... It was really crowded and u can actually finish within like say 10 minutes?

My dad caught this photo which I was laughing very awkwardly cause the problem with the narrow walk way is u can hardly take a photo without blocking a huge group of ppl staring at u.... it was kinda embarassing...

The view was no doubt spectacular, and my dad was truly enthusiastic about taking photos and at one of the day, he was complaining about the weather being cloudy and misty.. so i replied something from a non-photo-taking-fan point of view, which come to think of it, sounded a little offensive... I said,

"Dad, if you want nice photo, you can just google it"


But thanks to dad, I got more self portrait photos...

Monday, November 8, 2010

New York: Broadway

Broadway show is no doubt one of the things you will relate to New York. Furthermore it was highly recommended by my manager, and on top of all my dad seems pretty keen to watch Mamma Mia. So thus we made the trip...

Before I was there, I kinda thought they have everything in one theatre, only to realize that actually EVERY broadway show (at least the famous one) has its own dedicated theatre. For instance, my Mamma Mia was shown at the winter garden.

And the really cool thing is broadway theatre are actually scattered around time square area, which means u can walk past them....

-The time square just blocks down the road..

Then, before the show starts, we were allow to take some pictures, those VIP-like seats at the side are actually just like those in the theatre we see in movie... pretty cool huh!

No doubt, nice lightings, nice music-live orchestra, everyone - even the one acting as an old lady who sits at one corner carries the right expression all the time. There are cute guys of course, lots of it =p and even more semi-naked scence since it takes place on an island ^^ ... and the really great part is we know the songs!!!

~Mamma mia, here I go again, my my, how cud I resist u~~

~~~Dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen~~~

It was a really amazing theatre experience, for a ulu-person like me... Now i probably have very high standard for musical shows.. =p

It was well worth the 100 bucks!


And lastly souvenier to take home.. available outside the theatre..

But for me.. it is all up there, and I am sure will stay forever...

Thursday, November 4, 2010

US Trip : The Country Side

Virginia state is one of the early establishment as well as British colonial state. In other word, it is pretty "Old". Thus we have been visiting mostly historical towns and seeing more of the country side of US.

One of the interesting nature trip we had was a visit to a cavern and a mountain drive. It took us a whole day to drive through the place, but the sight was good enough to make it feel rewarding (except maybe my colleague cause he is the only one who owns a proper liscence is the one driving =p)

So we drove through the nite to an Inn and thus the next morning, we departed pretty early for this place, Luray Cavern. It is actually all about staglatite and staglamite, but in a HUGE amount. The entire cavern and not sure how deep it goes, has different kind of formation and it was really impressive to see. Some as huge as 3-4 level of buildings, and knowing that it takes a 100 year to grow 1 cm, one would really appreciate the live of these "stones"..

The headset i am wearing is actually a narrator, at each check point, u just punch in the code and it will tells u about what u see. Tour guide has to start worrying, technology is really coming after u guys too...

p.s. we are not the only one touching, europeans do that too!

This is an interesting sight,

First glance you probably think it some Mars surface formation, but if u look carefully, the bottom is exactly the mirror image of the ceiling, cause this is actually a "lake" called the dream lake, without any ripples and the right lightings, it gives a perfect mirror of the ceiling. What word can fit better than "nature wonder"?

Next stop, Skyline Drive it is actually a whole stretch of mountain roads on the Blue Ridge mountains. All the way, from north to south 170km, you are driving on a height of average 2000 to 3000 feet

All along the place u can see the cities and towns below just like the photo above, and a second thing that is most enjoyable is the changing color leaves,

Not all, but at least a good mixture of red yellow and green for the season... Never really related US with so much of Nature, but living in this part of it, made me realize there are still a LOT of US which hasn't been made into concrete jungle (not that i am against it, but they certainly are good getaways). Truly eye-opening..


And lastly, another common sights, lengzai's...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Finally the trip has ended, and i am back. Back to work, back to my house, back to little island, back to mrt, back to single life... (the last one also says back to emo guy)

"A great trip" is somewhat an understatement if u ask me... in Richmond, it was bonding with our colleagues, boss in real- even funnier person than i thought.. then in new york, apart from shopping, cute topless hunk at A&F and hollister, it was a really warm reunion with dad and getting to know my uncle better... dad has aged, and certainly glad to see me... i can tell he was really happy.. though there r some friction here and there, but i guess we r both mature enuf to keep it down and go over and after seeing dad's living condition in US, i am even more motivated to do better in career. I remember my heart actually aches.. to see his place, and dad had lived there for 10 years without complain... I always thought i had done well, being on myself thru university and starting to help out the family since i got my first paycheck. Only to realize, how still so far i am, from being able @o really give them a comfo.rtable life and how i cant make up for all those years, all his sacrifice. Dad always say "I never thought i would see you here in new york" indeed, he hope we cud all go, but i als believe he nvr really hope high be4...

Maybe fate was kind to me afterall, landing me in this opportunity of a lifetime, work, family, and eye opening exprience in the place everyone covet for...

and finally... back to my blog.. was too absorb by things to do in new york, and secondly dad was always around, so cant really write properly... but am back now! the days after 2 months 28 days continues...