Uncertainty

We like each other, but we cannot be together?

We probably don't know if we are saying soemthing true, if you like someone deep down in your heart, you probably would not want to let go, but if actually say you should stop it, does that mean we really want a change?

I am truely confused which I believe you are too. We have been bringing some dissapoinment to each other, we have upset each other because of our own expectations, but some part of us ( or at least me ) feels that this is the person I want to be with, this is the person i want to love. This is the person I don't want to let go even till now I have proposed it... But I really have no choice, my expectation is driving me to become some annoying pathetic love-attention hungry person.. It is simply hurting our relationship more than bringing happiness to either...

I can only hope that maybe this will give us a true feeling of if we really need each other, want each other and willing to tolerate and change for each other...

You have once asked me if I have any happy memory with you. Yes I do, in fact it was something I feel proud of and written this. The following journal was written 2 days before valentine (except it is in chinese), wonder if you remember this, it is just one of the moments back then... That was the time I felt i was the luckies person in the whole world. You were the one who gave me all that, which is why I have grew so attached to you.

There ARE happy moments and you gave them to me..

***************************************************

12-Feb-2009

我和他

两个简单的代词，诉说了无数个故事，因为每个人都可以是“我和他”。这些故事，或许在外人的眼里可能是平平无奇，乏味之极，可是对当事人总有一些特别的意义。

常常会想把我和他的事写在部落格里，因为从未有那么开心过，但就是提不起劲。一直到那一段小趣事...

他："Shall we get water?"
我：“Yup, sure”
他：“Or you want bubble tea”
我：“Both are fine, but i think we should get a water”
他：“Okay, but if u really want we can get 2 bubble teas”
我：“没关系啦，反正我会抢你的来喝的”
他：“谁要给你喝！Bubble tea 是我的，你喝水!”
我：“我一定会抢的 =P”
他：“不可以!”

他的中文不大好，但或许是迁就我的关系，他还是很喜欢用那怪怪腔调的中文。我常常逗着他玩 =P
接着，我们就买了零食，水和bubble tea，他选了一枝细的吸管,然后问我说:

他：“Do you know why i choose a thinner straw?”
我：“Err, cause we didn't have 珍珠 inside the tea?” (我们都不喜欢珍珠,只要奶茶 =P)
他：“不是, I choose a thinner straw, so you wont drink so fast, 明白吗,你这只猪...”

他带着胜利的笑容望着我...

我：“哦...原来你有打算让我喝噢!!”(到我笑了)
他呆了一会儿(想起自己刚刚说的话),然后..
他：“你不可以...不可以...”
我：“讲英文吧!”(我再笑他)
他：“You cannot trap me!!! Haha, how did you know i couldn't find the word”

一些小小的事情,但不懂为何让我很有冲动要记下来.接下来就会和他度过自己第一个情人节,虽然没有华丽的礼物,豪华餐厅,只是简简单单的在家中度过,却仍然很期待.

祝大家也会有个愉快的一天,懂得珍惜,天天都可以是情人节,天天都可以很开心...