You hang up; No, you first!

This is probably one of those honeymoon period and best case scenario to end a phone call with your beloved. You don't even bother about the extra minutes that's ticking on your bill.

After a usual conversation, who is the one that usually hangs up? The one who made the call? cause it is on his bill? Well maybe, but lets say the couple is slightly beyond this $$ minded. So who? The one who is more task-oriented, organized? well again, this is about personality, where some people are indeed very organized and efficient, like okay, I have called and spoken to my dear, so item checked and next is to brush my teeth. Fair enough, these are probably one of those who will always hang up first, cause they don't like to waste time and their life is always full of unfinished tasks and time is always a luxury to them. Of course there are other special cases like one is in a hurry, or one is extremely tired OR... cant wait to watch animation.(Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real person or incident or personal experience is purely coincidental.)

I cant help but notice that apart from the above mention "exceptions" the one who usually hangs up in a conversation is the one who is loved more. Or in another words, the one who hold on to the phone beside the ear and waits till the click sound that indicates the other has hang up, is typically the one who puts more into the relationship or he simply love the other person more. Well, very much personal experience.. The feeling is simply: "I just want to make sure he has nothing else to tell me." Its just the affection to the other person, the attachment and the fondness for your love ones.

But.. i guess that's the part one would enjoy, afterall the whole point of being young, being silly, being romantic... But if you are the one who always hangs up, gives this a little thought and maybe.. be the one who hang on once in a while? He probably would be really surprise and delighted..

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Thought of using Lady Gaga's Telephone, but it's just really not my style..



"But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you..."

I never realize till recently the last 2 lines of this song is so touching...

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From Lion City, with LOVE

The weekend was... extreme, in the sense of getting sleep. Saturday was like, I manage to sleep 3 hours before I went out for friend's birthday dinner. Then sunday was like i sleep as if I am bed ridden.. =s

So Saturday we went for watch shopping before the dinner to get the bday boy his gift. The unexpected thing was, I bought this AIX watch that I have been eye-ing and then Will's dear suggested that might as well make it my bday gift...



Well.. I wanted to say no la... but then, they insisted.. and it was really lovely! I totally like it (well, i did choose it myself =p, but still..) Thanks guys. ^^

I find myself enjoying these company a lot. A group of gay friends, couples, and best of all, a lot of Malaysians.. It was always enjoyable and things click easily. Hanging out with them kinda makes me see "real" relationships and how every couple can be different, yet it is still more serious than any flings I have seen in clubs. There are mature couples, like the chinese description of "old husband, old wife" , then the long distance, yet always wats-apping couple, it's amazing, distance seems to be shorten (at least a little) by technologies, stable and loving as usual. And also a younger couple, bickering at times but still, we learn to live together i suppose?

Gay relationship has never been easy, yet there are still many who are seriously making an effort. Those who claims gay relationship are never serious, I guess they just havent tried hard enough or they are just looking for excuses for pleasures?

Fate bring people together, but its the heart and the mind that make LOVE happens.



Its a feeling, and even more a choice...

Blog - It is actually a Diary

Just stating the obvious. But there are probably some younger gen who never thought about how blogging got its name. To them and the future gen, its probably like why would I ask how come the first meal of the day is called "breakfast"? I suppose I am one of those who grow up in the era to see computer boom, and actually read an article on newspaper about blog is actually web log and how it was then used by some creative people as e-diary. (Again , diary is a diary, how many would ask about the origin of the word right?)

Okay, after all these, I have recently got this realization that, "oh yea, my blog is actually my diary, like you know if i write it in a notebook or real diary, a tangible one..". Why this sudden thought? Well, another question, since it "could" have been a tangible diary, have you ever thought how much you have written all these years? like how many diaries it would have been?

Well, recently a kind sir, who told me my blog entries are pretty lengthy, so he actually printed out to take home to read, and it is actually close to 600 pages long! I was stunned. I mean, it cud have been a book, 600 pages, that's already harry potter's thickest book standard. The length of course, not content.. =p Nothing to brag about as I have only been blogging for a year plus, but it is actually something you never realize.. thanks to the kind sir for discovering this.. and actually really printing it all..

Also, it reminds me, my dad has always been encouraging me to write diary, but I used to give up after a week... and now, 600 pages? life, you just never know...

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Wall street bull ~

Selective Amnesia

Or simply, choose to forget?

I remember once watching an animation series where a person has lost one part of memory in his life because the incident had traumatised him so badly that with all his will power, he manage to "lock" that part of his memory so deep that he really don't "know" about it until one day, a "key" (person or item) has been presented to him that force the memory out again.

It is pretty drama-fiction nature of course. But today, when I was trying to tell someone about the place my ex live and I used to visit, I actually couldn't remember the name. A place where I used to go every weekend for close to 9 months continuously. A place I once passed by everyday to go to work. I can remember the station before it, I can remember the station after it, but no matter how hard I try, I couldn't recall that particular station. Come to think of it, at that time, I have always feared to passed through that station, because on one hand I was hoping he will alight the train and I get to see him, but only ends up in dissapointment again and again. Which is why when I got into my new job at a different place, I felt such a relief to have finally be able to avoid that route. And to the extend I avoid going anywhere near there or having the need to pass through there.

And after a year, I actually forgotten about the place, well at least the name of the place. In some way, it does feel similar to the animation, fear, traumatized feeling that lead to "locking" up the memory, doesn't it?

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Sky, Will, JJ... or anyone who reads this, I am planning a trip during CNY to take my mom and bro to Bangkok, am looking at the hotel options now and wonder if you guys are familiar with any? First is the location, I can only remember Silom seems pretty nice, and on internet Sukhumvit seems pretty happening too though I couldn't remember and lastly Pratunam? My second concerns is I want a room or possibly suite that can fits 3, doesn't have to be utmost comfy but at least the hotel wouldn't "kacau" us (for the extra person) and my budget is up to about SGD120 a nite... possible? any suggestion?

Much appreciated...

Expectation - keep it low?

I remember when I took PMR, my school result was like in the 80+ in the school. Thus when I was getting my results it surprises me that I got straight A's. The same happen for STPM, when I was actually the best result in my school and made it to all the local chinese newspaper. (okay, technically not the best, but since only like 5 person took 5 subjects, which is one extra and I was the best among the 5 person. it "appears" I was the best that year)

All these surprises came when I least expected. And it seems a great way to take things, minimal dissapointment and you might even get surprises, like a bonus. Although on the other hand, it seems like we are always taught to set high goals, and isn't it natural to have high expectations too then?

Well all said, eventually it comes back to talk about "guys". It seems the best way to protect oneself is to expect lesset.. yet most of the time, you would start constructing images about the person u thought as potential. Is it even possible that you are interested in someone, spend time talking and yet keep a very low expectation about him? like being indifferent?

I really do doubt...

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Smiles, in DC...

US Trip: Smile again?

US Trip was like about a month ago, like my bestie says, CP u have been back for less than a month... and yea I got myself into some mess again...

I was looking back at some photos, trying to recall those moments of seeing a totally new place and everything looks so interesting. And all those smiles are from the excitement, from the exploration, from the surprises from the contentment of seeing the foreign land, most importantly they are real, and not put up to tell others that I am fine..





I want to smile again, a real authentic one that comes from the heart, not my mind...

First Kiss

I do not mean my first kiss, which come to think of it was more of curiosity and more like lips touching, rather than an action of passion... But i guess as long as ur lips touched it counts.

Here though, I actually mean first kiss at first meet up or encounter. And it always happen because he requested. Although eventually nothing much happen, but the moment the kiss happen it was really sweet, and I know these are moments I will cherish forever.

The first was my first bf, he came to visit my hostel room and so happens my roomie was out. We were playing nintendo ds and lying side by side. Out of sudden, he was looking at me and ask, "Can I kiss you?" , well, if i am honest enough, he wouldn't be in my room if I hadn't fancied him, so why would I say no? Then it happens...

*****

"I'm gonna kiss you." He was firm and confident, but when he approached my face, he became shy and back off, and was blushing. He has the kind of look that when we meet up, I know I am in danger. It was just very charming, not perfect model handsome but charming enough for me to tell myself, yes he is the one... Of course in addition to talking to him for a while online. Before we parted that evening, he said that again, "I am gonna really kiss you, and this time I want you to reciprocrate." . Well, as if I am gonna dodge?

*****

When all the first kisses ended in agony, I kinda thought it must be jinxed, so I keep telling myself, whatever u do, dont kiss a guy at first encounter... But he has to turn out to be a cute guy too. Tall and charming. And all the sweet words said after meeting up at least is safe right? I mean he sees u in real rather than base on ur photo and imagination then sweet-talking to the virtual you. So when he asked for a goodnite-kiss in somewhere near orchard road, I was kinda doubtful, for one, I just thought of the jinx and for another one, it is the public (though kinda corner and hidden). I didn't make a move, or say a thing but just a doubtful look. He glance around and before I can do anything, peck my lips...

My first bf, I had written enough here. As for Mr.I'm-gonna-kiss-you-now, he said something that makes me realize we wont have a future on the second day, at least not that he sees. It was really painful, really really painful after All the talks and building up the feeling of someone truly "compatible" in many ways...

Jinx? If the stastistics goes on, maybe I will really try to refrain myself harder... no matter how cute or charming.