A little more privacy?

"Haven't seen you for a long time! What would you like to have today?"

I was greeted by one of the aunties working in McDonalds near my place.. I was surprised they actually still remember me cause the last time i came here for breakfast was more than half a year ago, during my previous job where i have to wake at 6 to do system checking everyday.. thus i usually have breakfast and read books here after that since i am allow to go to office bout an hour later..

Anyway.. the reason i am sitting here again.. eating and even blogging is because i didn't feel like going home yet. Cause every morning around 6.30 to 7 is like rush hour at my home.. everyone walking and moving around preparing for work.. and recently the weather has been so hot so even if i am home, i wont be able to use the shower and hav to wait till they are all gone.. so McD with aircon seems a better choice to do the waiting.

well, not just that, ever since i shifted house.. i really wish i cud shift again.. in fact this time round to have my own room... with a little more privacy.. I am not sure if this is because of the house or just recently i havent been able to really sleep comfortably (like a sleep more than 4 hours, i cud count with my fingers for the past one month)... i really feel this place is only a place to store my things, shower and do some sleep.. given a choice, i prefer spending a day in orchard, sitting in a cafe or even my company, my office desk, my chair there feels more comfortable than my 'house' my 'room'... sigh.. still 10 more months till the contract expires..

... almost time to go 'home'.. shud have clear out by now.. and its so hot.. of all year round.. bloody weather!

I want!!!

G-shock watches was a brand that I first knew about when my cousin-sister first got a baby-g. That was when I was in primary school. It was a luxury item to us back then. We can only look at it in the shop stores everytime we go to the super market, which was Super Kinta. For those who grew up in Ipoh, I guess you would know this... Then it was in University that I first bought a g-shock for myself during sales, a very classical black and red design. Then subsequently I got to know a place which sells this at a cheaper than market rate and so I bought another one in white-orange for myself and a red-black for my brother. Both are of very different designs...

Anyway, I am still not consider a huge fan or collector, but merely getting excited if i see some nice design..

So this post is related to the incident where I was preparing for the pink-dot event. As it is suggested participant should wear soemthing pink, I was just looking around at the last minute for soemthing Pink, and then this watch, caught my attention. Casio makes pink watches, that's not a big-deal, but the reason this caught my attention was:

- It's huge.. and I have some likings for huge things.. ( okay... i know this is a decent post =p)
- It's analog + digital and very futuristic design

Today I did a search and realize it is called the GA series,



And they have it in uni-color design, which is pretty unique, it feels like a toy-ish design but quite cool to have it on your wrist. They also have it in what they call hyper color design which is a mixture of some cool and fun color.. I almost bought it (the pink one)... but then, it cost 170 bucks... and come to think of it i am not really that rich, 170 for an event? nah..

So well, it kinda passed my mind and I was thinking I will go to that shop in Bugis someday to check if they sell it at some incredibly cheaper price (I know i am dreaming, but sometimes, they do happen.. serious!)

So today, I was finally there.. and I saw this thing that really makes me want to take out my visa card, swipe it and take it home... It's so cool and cute!!!!!!



Okay, so this is a box-set as you can see. With a cute little g-shock man thingy. First impression, I have to admit it looks like one of those hyper color model, but after talking to the shop owner, i was told it is a limited edition where this particular one combines all the color in the GA series...

Which when you look at it yea, u really find all the colors in the watch. It is so creative and the designer, Nakano Shirou, makes a really creative effort to mix up all the colors, all the colors nicely put around the watch...

And it comes with this little g-shock-man of the same design, it's gonna looks so cool on my office desk, as a clock and display.. (along with my one-piece pirate boat set.. =p )



Gosh I was so so sooooo tempted to take out my card to swipe it except when I look at the price... it was SGD $398 ... the moment was like the air-freezes, and my mind cool off...

Okay, 400 bucks for a really cool and uniquely design watch set...

@ its more than RM1k leh!
# cute woh
@ but I have to save for the school fees!
# it's limited edition woh!!
@ and my nite shift allowance only temporary..
# ... *sniff sniff*

So it is still in the shop there... sigh... so cute...

Lovely night

The malaysian hospitality as derek puts it.. is indeed very true.. it seenms all the more easy to chat, joke and mingle..

all in all a really fun and lovely days.. with interesting and nice people..

great evening..!

最熟悉的陌生人

最熟悉的陌生人 - This is a chinese song title, but at the same time, it is also a very meaningful term..

The direct translation is, the most familiar stranger. It doesn't make sense right? Okay, i know for one my english is not that good, and secondly logically how can you be familiar with a stranger?

well, this term is used on couples who broke up, especially if it is a ugly break up...

Today because of the totally dissapointing GSS, we end up being in Karaoke.. =p

Then somewhere somehow i saw this title.. and it makes me think back about what would have happened.. if I hadn't made that decision.. We could end up really being annoyed and hating each other.. not even friends... We have lost trust in each other, we have thoughts that is negative of each other... we never agree with each other anymore... and you never see a future there... I guess maybe you were right, you were more rational than I was..

At least we didn't end up not wanting to talk to each other, like total strangers, even we once knew each other so well... and end up being 最熟悉的陌生人...

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Shopping Spree?

It's long weekend again in Singapore, people would be flooding to Malaysia, to Bangkok, Hong Kong etc.. even those left behind will be flooding onto the city downtown area..

As for me, it is again the social life vs sleep decision again... well obviously I am not gonna sleep so much so... in 3.5 hours time.. i am gonna wake up and rush into the 1st day of GSS (great singapore sales) with my Hometown best friend.. it is his kinda first GSS here, so i suggested we go for first day while everything still has your size..

Not really in the mood to shop.. kinda feel like no matter how i dress, i wont become any better looking or make the person like me.. what's the point... (emo-ing..) but well a promise is a promise, and then the cash flow is on the loose end recently... so well.. maybe i might get a bit excited.. maybe..


ZZzzz....

A Thanks

If i were a grateful person, I would have realize life hasn't been that bad for me, in many ways, except on relationship, which is something that I have never really been able to say happily tat there is a guy who really loved me...

But other than that, my family are all healthy, got a job, and friends who really offer an ear a shoulder... especially friends I have only met once, I truly appreciate ur concern, for a almost stranger like me... thank you..

However, I still need someway to channel my emotional bits... so pardon me if i am still emotional.. I just want to make myself feel better for now..

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Not sure if i ate soemthing wrong or all these are putting something bad on my body.. even my appetite is pretty irregular now... and worse.. stomach stirring very badly..

Still need time... i dunno..

To Smile?

Isn't there a quote that says there are always two side of a coin or something. It is our own choice to whether be optimistic or pessimistic. Like whether u see a cup as half gone or half filled... etc.. but it is easier said than done..

It seems pretty silly that although it happens only for a few days, but the feeling is affecting me so badly... Probably because the feeling of being someone's attention is really addictive. Someone to talk to you every few hours, someone who check what you are doing. Someone who tells you what he is doing. Someone who is concern if you get enough sleep. Even to the extend of using those very love-ish terms like "shoo, go to sleep".. Someone to say good morning and good night.. it's all the small little things.. Maybe i really missed this feeling... It has been so long...

And now.. when it is down to nothing again, I am suppose to be optimistic again? What should I cheer myself with? That I still hav lots of dates invitation? That the right guy is still out there somewhere and he is just not the one? But... it is not easy to really convince myself even that.. afterall all the anticipation and feeling build up... It is just really painful to even think of it..

I wish to smile, it is just a small action with a little effort from the mind.. but I realize it is so hard when i put my heart into it and break it..

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I still don't understand...

Peaceful moment

It has really been a while since i felt so disturbed and emotional... yea.. this is gonna be emotinal again..

1. It was another of those occasion that u charged up hopes and it fires to a black hole.. meaning? its gone for good.. well i know gay meet up are generally like that.. it vud either be click on and go from there.. or well.. sorry, u r nice but...

except the difference for this time is probably the person has been really nice, frank and honest.. but it just make it harder to forget.. especially with all the hopes build up high..

A beautiful se7en day?

2. finally my admin assistant send out the mail.. and makes me look like i am bitching around.. k not sure if i have mention this.. but generally i was trying to remind her out of her interest.. but she become defensive and now even send msg to tell others if they have something to tell, they can tell to her... my colleague told me he only told me.. so see? that's for being Mr.Nice guy.. ended up others thinking of you as Mr.Nosy and Mr.Back-stabber.. =s

3. my brother.. wish things cud be easier.. but... this is real life i guess..

feeling tired again... i never had a restful mind since last week.. especially over the weekend, feels like roller coaster ride.. but not the kind with exiting ending.. =s

just a small moment of comfort.. it is that hard to get.. ?

Heartbeat

Not exactly happy, nor really upset, neither it is exitement.. but this moment, heartbeat is unusually fast.. a feeling that i couldn't understand..

cp ~ 24-05-2010

The days

It is another of those day, beginning with anticipation, proceeded with excitement, end with a ?

Maybe it is all about chemistry? A word that says a lot, yet little to explain..

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I always find songs soothing... especially a nite like this..

Office Politics?

For the first time (in office), I have encountered a situation when I did something out of concern but ended up looking as if i am bitching about someone else..

Maybe office politics isn't exactly the right word here, but i kinda think i haven't been prudent enough in what I did this time round.. The situation was like this. One of my colleague in the office had some financial difficulty previously. It is a known fact as she has been telling us about it as we are one of her closer friends in office. So, in the early days, she had borrowed money from a us. But we keep it strictly among our small group as she approached everyone one of us individually. So we know.. The thing is recently, there are people who approach me and my other colleague separately (in 2 occasions) to ask if they cud trust her or if she borrowed from us. Hearing this from a colleague kinda make us feel it is not so nice to her. Cause words will start spreading.

So out of concern, I thought I shud let her know that she shud be more careful with the people she is asking, as some actually doesn't fancy her that much and has been talking behind her. And now even worse, on the topic of loaning money. So i thought I should warn her. But instead of telling us what happen. She actually denied it, and keep looking for reasons why the people could be talking about it (which are not convincing at all)

The problem is for one, she is being very defensive, she doesn't admit to us the truth but fair enough cause we know she is really in difficulty and she might not want to make us feel awkward and it is really personal. But I have to warn her that people are spreading words and she shud be careful.. but the whole thing turn out I was giving away the friend who came over and ask, i mean that guy is quite friendly, and he is malaysian. Just sometimes he say things too directly and might harm people. But the people who are really responsible for this are those who tell him that,. spreading the rumours.. So swhen she asked me who said it. and then said i heard from my colleague she had send an email to that colleague telling him if he has any issue with her, he can go and talk directly with her.. I thought like damn it.. what is my colleague gonna think of me..

Sometimes, when you are intending to help someone, ended up u might get hated by both parties.. So.. for now, i am gonna stay far far far away from this. I am not going say a word or bother about it anymore i think..

Sometiems, in the working world, i guess we really have to be careful of what we say or do.. But i dun like this...

Hostage

The direct translation of the name of this song means hostage. This song is no doubt one of the most popular pop songs cause it was from one of the Diva A-Mei.. Then it was made popular once more by this One Million Star most celebrated participant Aska Yong. Well if you ask me if this song is nice.. i would say okay.. not bad, but i definitely like A-mei's version better. Then why am i posting the version by Aska? Well because of the music video.. it is a very touching gay scene story..

After listening to the song itself, I dont really understand much ecept it is a sad story, I only understand in the last, there is this line "人质在这一刻得到释放
" the hostage has been relieve, it probably means The relationship has ended, and we are not making each other suffering any more.. we all are "relief" sad huh... being together is suppose to make each other happy, but couples ended up disliking even hating each other.. well.. sounds familiar huh... ?

Anyway.. the MV is the highlight, it is screens from Bangkok love story i think.. about a gay story, which is why i am still using this song despite it didn't touch me that much. The story just show gay relationship can be very manly also.. yet has its touching part... Its beautiful...

Am I killing myself slowly?

This morning was like 2 days ago, where anywhere, anytime, anymoment, i feel like i can just faint because of the fatigueness. Well.. the problem is i only managed to sleep like 3 hours + the previous day because of various reasons but primarily i blame it on the hot weather in the afternoon and my room, again it's the feng shui, i knew i was right back then to say the fengshui doesn't agree with me, at least on the sleep and comfy living factor. (okay, i know i mention i get payrise previously and quite good amount, so maybe on the wealth factor it works for me =p)

Gosh.. i wonder if i am killing my health slowly with this kind of life, getting really tired then sleeping long hours over weekends.. and also with a totally opposite biological clock life... My best friend keep telling me I shud take the fish-oil pills but i was reluctant cause for one i am a no-sea food person, and i remember the time when my dad ask me to buy a bottle of vitamin C pills, which i obediently did.. but that thing ended up in a corner of my room for like 2 years before i through it into the bin when i was shifting... so that's me with pills, we dun get along that well either i guess...

ZZzzzzzz.... (i missed air-con at home.. *sniff sniff*)

Photos-Photos : The Ipoh Foodie Trip

These were the kind of food that we used to go for over weekends since we were very young. But to be honest ever since I went to Uni, I haven't actually eaten them like for years.. So this time round, I was determined to eat, eat and EAT!!! Though the beginning I was too focus on the eating part i forgot to take photos.. missed out on some of the truly local special like DIM SUM, Bean Sprout Chicken "nga choi gai", and Restaurant 1919 (This is not classic material, but many Ipoh ppl would know this one i am sure)...

So lets start with this one, wanna guess what this is?

Is fishball! yup we call it "sai yu dan" which means small fishball. This is a shop that i think the last time I went it was about 10 years back. Back then it was only 10cents per piece, now RM1 for 7. But the food there is nice no doubt..

Next thing, a must to eat in Ipoh, for the soup and for the noodle. No where else make it better than what u get in the real old town in Ipoh... Presenting... "Kai si hor fun"..


This is also another of our weekend breakfast favourite, hakka noodles. So the prime highlight is of course the noodle, with the classic mince meat and the egg noodle..

Then of course the "fu pei" something like - yong tou fu, that goes with it, and they also have beef slice in their home-made soup full of ginger.. Nice!!



One thing that is probably confusing (to tourist) about Ipoh famous food is when you ask randomly around where you can find like nice curry noodle you probably get like different answers. But it doesn't mean the locals are fooling you. Just that there are really different places that sell curry noodles. They have different taste, but the scary thing is, they are all very nice!! For instance, this time round, I manage to go to 3 different curry noodle shop, so presenting in my own preference.

In place number 3, this is near a market place, the highlight is the fried meat that they serve with the curry noodle, and also for those who go for dried (gon lou) me and my bro both think they did something to the dark soy sauce, must be some kind of secret recipe..


In place number 2, this is known as the "dong gu ting" (mushroom hut) curry noodles, also selling for more than 30-40 years i guess (cause my parents say they used to eat there when they were young). Even for people who cannot take hot stuffs, i love their soup..


Finally, Number 1 goes to.... Okay, i dunno the name, but this is the shop that we patronize the most for curry noodle, the boss is known to drive mercesdez but then again, almost all the famous hawker eatery owner drive posh cars in Ipoh, really not so much a secret..

My Brother and I prefer the dry one (for me cause i will be perspiring like mad if i take the hot curry soup, but still i love to take from mom)

And for mom, the soupy one..


Don't forget to order another of the favourite here at the coffee shop, their glutinous rice, serve with kaya or curry, is another all time favourite and will be sold out by 9.30 to 10am..


Lastly, this is the BEST beef noodle in Ipoh in my opinion. There are several nice beef noodle shop in Ipoh, and i really do mean it. Just like the hakka style beef noodle, there are 2 of which i known of, and also the cantonese "ngao lam fun" kind, there are also 3 shops that are famous for it. But i didn't have time to go to all, so only this one.

First of all, why did i claim it is the best? well u can look at the soup, normally the beef soup would have powdery stuff because of the pepper, seasoning and probably stuffs from the bones that are used to cook the soup. (just like the other 2 shops) But this one, if u look close enough, you would be surprise by how "Clear" the soup is. Yet, the taste of the soup if un-surpass by any i have tried. It is sweet, aromatic and doesn't make u feel thirsty even if u down the entire bowl.

According to mom and dad, when they were young and first came to Ipoh from their hometown, they used to have it by roadside stalls where the current owner's mother was the chef back then. Now it has been passed to the sisters (all not married) and selling at the food street opposite Sam Tet primary school. (again, this is a must go place to savour all Ipoh nice food...)

Extra beef if ur noodle is too little.. (the soup serve without the noodle is even better!)


and Be sure to try the beef ball, again.. Nice!


Located at the same row, is a stall that sells dessert, known for their really delicious and yummy Sago dessert.

Okay, i should have taken this before munching in but too late.. they make their own cream to top the shave ice, for instance the honeydew sago, the cream feels like honeydew ice-cream... super-duper yummy.. been myt favourite for years..


My brother venture into trying a new flavour, mango, i was like "huh" wont it be sour-rish, but then when it came... i was digging into his bowl non-stop. The mango sauce was so aromatic and taste heavily of mango puree... This hawker knows what is good food! they never just used ordinary flavouring to bluff money.. and this lengzai have got really good sense for once.. introducing me something nice..


So many good food, so little time.. despite my really "hard" effort to eat around, i still missed out quite a lot of it.. looking forward to my next home trip! but in the mean time.. lots of gym...

The Consequences

I gave up my sleep on Saturday for the pink dot.. then conveniently switch back to normal hours and sleep at nite over the weekend. The entire snow ball effect hit yesterday nite. Now i feel like how I felt last Tuesday, i can faint anytime..

Wanted to continue part 2 of the Photos Photos... but really need to sleep for now...Maybe tmr ... ZZZzzzzz.. really cannot Tahan...

Photos-Photos : The Penang Trip

I have kinda been delaying this blog cause the photos are gonna take a while to be arranged and uploaded. So finally i decided to break it into 2 parts. My Penang Trip and Ipoh-Food trip. And introducing another lengzai in the family along the way...

It has been 4-5 years since i have last visited Penang, or longer.. But in general, most places are still alike. We check into Sandy Bay Paradise beach resort along Batu Ferringhi. It was one of the erliest hotel Dad has took our family to before he went to US, so that's like almost 12 years ago... sure bring back lots of memory.. ANyway, this is the room, it has a living area,

Then the bedroom, pretty spacious huh? and for RM250 a nite, i say it is quite okay..


Then we went to a crappy hong-kong style restaurant near komtar for lunch cause we are seriously late.. nothing much to highlight cause we went back to hotel immediately. The next most interesting place, which I look forward most is this,



Gurney Drive!!! I love the food there, well, not calling this a foodie trip although penang is known for it too, but we definitely dunno where to find the best as we are just tourist here, but i missed the claypot rice with egg, this stall i tried this time just didn't make it the same way, egg is too overcooked..



But food are generally nice! Then i saw this Shillin stall, since Ipoh doesn't have it and my brother hasn't tried it before...

P.s. It is WAY larger than what they sell in Singapore

K... the other lengzai in the family, to be honest, i am jealous he is taller and more photogenic, see this photo i have to tiptoe to reach that height.. ='(

And even he is slightly fat he still looks good... gosh..! (more down to proof..)

Then day 2, at the breakfast.. hate them for being so bloody rigid, i have 4 vouchers for 2 days so my mom and aunt can join us, but they wont allow.. then my mom and aunt has to go out for breakfast!! I was pretty angry and thought of paying for the buffet but mom say it is not worth it (which is true after i eaten, for that price, they shud really be shame of the quality)

Anyway, ended up only 2 lengzai's at their table... This is the best thing that ever appear on the table, cause i made it.. =p

Our salad... Btw, introducing the Lomo camera on iPhone Apps, it really gives a different feel to photos, for those who have it, u shud try..

And the people eating it...

Even his haircut looks better naturally... (which is another story i was really down, bloody hairdresser!)


Then later in the evening, since my bro is preparing for IELTS, we just stay in for him to study (lunch was at a noodle shop in Gurney Plaza which is quite nearby, and we brought back a tub of Haagen Dazz to the beach for my bro to try.. too bad they dun have strawberry cheesecake)
We went to the pool and beach, while i was swimming he was doing his studying + free drinks..

Out hotel.. introducing another iPhone apps, this is call the polaroid camera effect, pretty cool too!

Lengzai again,

See!! this is why i am jealous, he looks really photogenic, and all the aunties in the market place near our home calls him lengzai now (title used to be mine) but, oo well.. he is my brother..

Then finally the last day, we didn't do much except checking out cause the entire morning till late noon was my brother's exam, we check out and went for lunch without him. By the time he is done, we only went to Kek Lok Si temple to buy the tou sha bing and my mom drove me up to see this really magnificient Guan Yin temple. I was really impressed considering this is on top of a hill..

*This is a more realistic photo of the "True" height of me and my bro.. =p

All in all, Penang is a lovely place, at least i feel so. Especially when we were driving to tanjung bungah side, i really fell for those super nice condo by the cliff, it was really luxury with stunning seaview. On top of that, Penang has its old side, modern side, good food and familiar people. So all in all, it feels like a nice place to stay. Not as busy as here, but just a pace for people who appreciate city life on a island but slower pace..

Maybe it will be a place i retire in the future...

A Dot? A Pink Dot?

I have read Singapore used to host some kind of Gay parade event in the past, however due to some reason, they stop hosting and it was subsequently in Bangkok and Taiwan. Which was quite sad and they are obviously losing a lot of the pink dollars. But well, it is not the most creative and open minded country anyway.

So I guess this event : Pink Dot 2010 can be consider a pretty major LGBT ( Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transexual ) event in Singapore.

Details are here : http://pinkdotsg.blogspot.com/

And I was there! It was the first time I have been to such event, and i got to admit i did feel a little awkward initially (I always thought i am quite indifferent but.. well subsequently it was fine subsequently) i was with another friend who then have his friends and i realize how little people i know, everyone knows someone else around, i was like only talking to my friend... so sad... i must club MORE!!

It wasn't exactly fun or special, but showing a support as part of the "society" and also well... again, made me realize something and gave me some thoughts on something... Sometimes i just hate myself, either let me be more dumb and insensitive or really high EQ and indifferently cool.. but not in the middle...

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Some people are worth our tears.. while others, maybe it is worth letting go..

最幸福的事

在我们的感情世界里从开始到结束，可以是见面的第一秒，也可能是一辈子。如果你记得有那么一件事，是你最幸福的事，那或许你真的有被你的他真心爱过。。。

一年了，我曾经有过我最幸福的事吗。。。？

Yin and Yang

I suppose the chinese belief that things comes in pairs is true. You need something to complement the other. Eg. after the good news (salary increment) it must be followed by a bad one.

So the bad news is, the person whom we dislike the most will be our administrative manager (it is a news from my reuters again but pretty reliable just like the increment amount she told me..) Why do we dislike this person? I am being fair here.. for one, he was suppose to be a technical analyst, though he used to manage the India team back there, but when he was relocated, we already have a boss here (the one who left) so he was TOLD to focus on his technical side and team lead for a team of 2 (him and another teammate). Which was all good and happy (to us). Why was he TOLD so? Because he keep hinting and arranging meeting (on his own) with the managers in our entire department, going around saying hello, talking, sharing his view cause he FEEL he is on par.. He even kinda say to my boss admin assistant that he wants the same service she is doing for my ex-boss. (btw, all these information comes from her.. and she told me she always gives him the F. U. C. K. smile when he says something like that... =p ). And he also keep hinting to be given a room, so that he can have his "confidential" talks.. yea right, as if he is that important. And worse of all, he monitors our work sheet.. questioning why we are doing those hours, checking if someone is there on their seat.. (wtf seriously, that was NEVER the culture in the entire company, he is making it totally so rigid and localise-to his culture, our boss never even care back then, he was totally the kind u get ur things done, that's it.. fully trusting us..)

But sadly, my ex-boss left shortly, and all-in-all dunno what happen but he sort of got into the right to be "manager" for a few of the smaller team, including mine... *sob sob*

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If things must always comes in pair... WHERE IS MY OTHER HALF!!!!!

A house, A home

I got this question, "You say u want to build a home in singapore? but if u do that it means u will say have to be here for long?"

I kinda think the question was meant more of a house, if i buy a house here.. i wud kinda be bound to this small island city.. (again, like i told a friend, i dun hate this place, in fact it is a nice place.. but i just couldn't develope a liking towards it.. ) back to topic, I guess these words kinda means differently to me. A house is a physical object to me, a house is where u reside, or for our case, the place that i fully own now is only a bed and my wardrobe, others are shared.. so my 'house' here is merely a place where i store my belongings and a place i sleep.. pretty much that.. A home on the other hand, is where ur family is, it is a place that u feel warm, that u feel protected, sheltered, that u own it, a place that u want to be in when u r worn out from a day work, that u want to spend a cozy, lazy afternoon on weekends with ur love ones.. and not feel like u rather spend outside at a mall because u cant even listen to a song or watch movie without using a earpiece cause ur roomie is there.. or it is so empty and u feel lonely to stay there...

So when i say i look forward to build a home.. it actually means more of a place i share with another person whom i can see as a family member (okay, i mean bf obviously). especially at this stage of life, where my career just started, and i feel like seeing more of the world,i wont be settling down at a place and have my parents with me (anyway, i deserve to have some 2-person time too right? i am sure dad and mom has theirs too!) so having this 'home' it doesn't matter where i am, or which house i live in.. we can always make it cozy and lovely when u r with the person u want to be with right? (okay, house does matters.. like i say my current place fengshui doesn't really match me somehow.. =( .. but still the person u live with is still more important..)

So a home is what i seek.. i know i always do.. and all the more now as i feel i am more ready for it..

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U probably cud summarize this into 'he is desperate for a guy' fine.. i am.. but having a home away from home.. i am sure u will understand if u are in a foreign land too..

Scent

This.. is probably one of our most mysterios senses. It is not something solid, sometimes u get this deja vu feeling that u know a scent, and it reminds you of some memories that could be as fresh as this morning, or as old as ur childhood. You might have a very deep memory of it, reminding u of special moments, or a scent from someone special, or a place.. Or you just have a blur or no image at all of what the situation or where the scent occur in ur memory but u know had it before..

I was walking past a mall today and it was raining outside so there is a very damp air atmosphere.. then it just occurs to me the scent (mixture or the air and the scent in the mall) reminds me strongly or somewhere in Shanghai.. It reminds me again of the other day when i visited a friend's home where his furnishing and the smell in the house is almost exaclty like the apartment i live in Shanghai.. it feels so weird as these 2 places have very different climates and the things in the home arent that similar.. but still.. u have no doubt of the scent that is almost 100% similar..

what we see could be deceiving, what we hear could be lies.. but the scent we smell.. it is probably the most reliable senses we have. Probably also because they are the hardest to fake.. The scent of the person u always hug, the bed u share once.. the room that always smells good with scented oil and cosmetics.. it will be the most lasting memory.. well at least they are sweet..

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There are so many thoughts during my trip home.. but somehow i still don't have the urge to put down yet while they r fresh.. like today.. suddenly the scent stirs up these mix thoughts..

The few things

There are many things that came to my mind that i thought i want to write down here, but the first agenda is sleep.. but still there are a few things that is worth flashing through cause the impression was deeper and i can still remember in this unconcious state..

*I am totally disoriented with my sleep hour, so dead with this

*I realize i get culture shock when i see the crowd from the MRT

*I am getting salary review, and although i have got my Reuters sending me news since last week, but still hearing the increment from my boss kinda gives me a solid feeling. I mean i have only joined this place for 5 months coming 6, and they are giving me 25% increment.. isn't that pretty wow-ing.. O_O"

And lastly, i couldn't help missing the feeling of having a home.. i am really determine to find and build one here... All the more stronger after the trip...