To Smile?

Isn't there a quote that says there are always two side of a coin or something. It is our own choice to whether be optimistic or pessimistic. Like whether u see a cup as half gone or half filled... etc.. but it is easier said than done..

It seems pretty silly that although it happens only for a few days, but the feeling is affecting me so badly... Probably because the feeling of being someone's attention is really addictive. Someone to talk to you every few hours, someone who check what you are doing. Someone who tells you what he is doing. Someone who is concern if you get enough sleep. Even to the extend of using those very love-ish terms like "shoo, go to sleep".. Someone to say good morning and good night.. it's all the small little things.. Maybe i really missed this feeling... It has been so long...

And now.. when it is down to nothing again, I am suppose to be optimistic again? What should I cheer myself with? That I still hav lots of dates invitation? That the right guy is still out there somewhere and he is just not the one? But... it is not easy to really convince myself even that.. afterall all the anticipation and feeling build up... It is just really painful to even think of it..

I wish to smile, it is just a small action with a little effort from the mind.. but I realize it is so hard when i put my heart into it and break it..

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I still don't understand...