Maple Leaf

I was youtube-hopping and discover this song that seems pretty under-rated...



No doubt we know he is popular enough that even underated, it is with hundred of thousands of views, but yesterday was the first time I heard of this song and really start to appreciate it.

*****

And this reminds me of my uni days when I post my pictures on gay- social networking site and many would comment that I look like Jay Chou. So I took out my old hard-disk and look back at some old pics. I guess this is the one that many said I look like him,



And also... looking back at these old photos, i realize my face was actually sharper at one point of time...
Gosh, I am really fatter now... I should seriously start dieting.. =(

Facebook-Checkout

Tuls wrote an entry sometime back about identifying gay friends through mutual gay friends. Having quite a number of gay friends on my own friend list, that's definitely a useful method indeed.

Another advantage of having those gay friends is sometimes when you are facebook-hopping (clicking from links to links, friends' friends etc..) you would come across some guys who are like really really cute, handsome or sizzling hot. Then this thought occur to me one day that don't u wish someday Facebook and Ebay will form a partnership and do something like this,




Gosh, what kind of world would that be...

Touched

I remember mentioning a LDR story which the guy who is my uni mate and doing engineering here in Sg while his gf did medic in India. Then finally when it is almost time that he graduated and the gf has got a year to go, he got a PhD scholarship offer to UK. So distance just become further and further, the same for the time to be apart.

They seen each other like less than 5 times a year, but they make an effort to chat on webcam as much as possible. I remember the time we did internship in Shanghai, he always chat with his gf like on a daily basis. In fact there r times he seems moody and he told me they quarrelled.. but well they fight, and then they make up. Simple as that...

Reason I suddenly mentioned this was because i came accross this picture on fb the other day. And i was truly touched...



Beautiful no doubt, but knowing how hard it is for them to last those years and reached the moment where this picture was snapped, they have earned themselves a lot of applause. The determination, the commitment, the promised made and the will power to keep to it. The guy is a sporty and cute person, needless to say there must be girls who are into him all these years. Same goes for the gf, pretty and a good profession. I am sure the relationship will not be smooth all the way, there has to be disagreement, dissapointment, doubts by the distance, but the fact is they held on till this day.

So they truly deserved this beautiful moment they have together. Their love story is as beautiful as the picture itself.

******************

Come to think of it, I am already 7 years or more behind the time they had together. Not sure how many more. But if we are fortunate enough to meet that special one someday (or those who had already met) we shud really promise ourselves, (yes-to ourselves!) to not sway easily. The commitment will definitely pay off eventually. Just like the picture says, it will be more beautiful and worthy than we can imagine to be able to be the 2 person sitting there, its much much more than wat a random cute-handsome guy can give to u for a night...

-To the beautiful couple, Happy Forever...

Just the way you are

Recently Will's hubby make a little comment on my choice of guys when i kind of talk about boyfriends. We speak in canto so i am having a bit of trouble trying to pull out the original chat but generally he meant to say i was picky, some guys i met previously i find them too femminish, looks, build etc. etc.

Which is only partially true. Being not a body building fan myself, i exercise mainly to keep in acceptable shape and also because a big part due to I am still single.. (need to maintain the market value) thus i wont really aim for muscular guys. Experience tells me things happen both ways, thus expectation from others too. Which is why i am not particular bout muscular guys, just not overly skinny would be great.. (okay, this i admit i am kind of meat lover =p)

Secondly, looks, he think i like weird looking guys, which is not true, they just look different from the general boring korean/japanese/taiwanese cuties, but doesnt mean they are not charming in their unique way! so anyway, it depends on personal preference.

Lastly, feminish. This is a matter of preference. Being gay, there is prob a feminish side in us, but just how obvious or outwardly expressing it differs among us. But i prefer guyish guy.. just my preference.. no offend intend, we r born the way we r and lets be proud of it. V

Okay, this is almost becoming an entry about guys i like if not for this last part. The reason i wrote this is beause as oppose to wat KH says bout being choosy, i am simply quite sure of guys i wud admire. I have tried with guys who are very into me but i just dun feel the kind of affection i had on my ex. No sexual desire, no increase heartbeat, no little silly thoughts of looking at the phone waiting for his call and yet writing one simple sms over like 100 times to make sure ur thoughts is clearly delivered even if you just want to say good nite. and when u dun hav such feelings, typically it end up that after a while, i have to apologize and tell them i cant, cause it just doesnt feel right. I feel bad to have to tell it, but i know it feels even worse on them, hope being raised and then fall so hard. There are people whom i ilike but dun like me, the same happens. I know how painful it is, but yet knowing how they feel being in that position, i know its neither their fault. It just not the right match...

If i am really sure of someone, i know i wont hesitate much, else no point wasting other's people time. We r depriving their right to be loved and treasured, putting them in a back-up or 'tentative' position.

Thus i am being choosy, because i know i dont want to hurt another person with my uncertainty and doubts, the same way i dont like to get that kind of feeling from others. Its too painful, to like someone and yet not getting the reciprocal feeling. Evwn worse when he is 'trying' . experience says, try stuffing ur size 10 feet into a size 8 shoe.. I rather go with someone i know i will love him loyally and wont move even when someone even more ideal comes by. cause i am happy with him and i have no bouts to sway me.

********************

U like someone, because every little thing he does is funny/interesting to u. His smile will always be charming. He snores will always be cute. When he cries u feel it is ur fault for not cheering him, when he is silly, u just wanna hug him and kiss his cheek. His eyes are beautiful not matter its big or small, his nose is pointed at just the nice angle, his lips are forever kissable. Everything just feel right. Just Right as it is.

You would never want to change a thing about him. Cause he is amazing the way he is...


I guess that's simply why certain songs are classics...

Club-bing

I have to say one of the things i enjoy most when i go clubbing is the music, especially if a DJ is pro enough to play those top hits and classical hits back to back for say 3 hours, it would be perfect... and of course even better if u get hit up by some cute guys.. =p

So anyway last Saturday night, i was at Play, one of the few gay clubs around this little island. I swear the initial intention of asking my friend out was purely for dinner, then he was hinting if any "plans" after dinner (as if we would go to the library?). So i thought since i havent been there for a while why not?

And that night was... BORING. Okay, not many cute guys is one thing, no one hitting up is another. But the most unacceptable thing is LOUSY MUSIC!!! I mean like from midnight to almost 3, I think there are only about 5-6 songs that i feel really worth grooving along. I am gonna boycott this club for a while... grr... feels like i am better off to go sing K for the night.. Or even maybe going to the library and do my revision, my music player can probably do better than that DJ =s

**************************************

Though something to look forward is I finally managed to convinced a friend to go to KL gay club in late May!!! So happens he has a wedding on Sunday to attend and he plans to stay over at KL... So immediately i suggested that we shud go!

Really looking forward to it.. ^^



I know this is nothing close to new hit songs, but at least it is decent by club standard.. and they dun even have this all night. Is this acceptable?

Don't Laugh

On SMS...

***
Me: Hey... Sorry can't pick up the phone now... Call u in about 10 mins k? How about you go ahead and buy your stuffs first.

Bestie: Okay..

After she got her things..

Bestie: CP, i got my stuffs, where are u!??

Me: I am done too, lets meet at the MRT station k?

Bestie: k.

***

15 mins later, she saw me in the train station, and I saw her too.

Bestie: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cause she saw this..

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I was perming my hair and almost done when she texted me... So i thought i wanna give her a surprise. But actually I myself wanted to laugh too when my stylist finished and show me... cause it was too funny! And when we saw each other we broke down at the MRT station... both laughing like mad..

A Taiwanese fashion/stylist guru once says, a hair can really change a person's a lot. And I think I have to agree... Its just too funny even when I am looking at myself in mirror.. From total straight and smooth and flat to now, and it is even more "volume" now.. =p

And before was something like this,




**************************

Some iPhone apps effect from my bestie's phone..



Coincidentally we both permed and colored our hair recently, hers is long and red while mine is somewhat blondish..



I still think i look funny... but it was worth the try once in a lifetime.. haa..

Gay Roomies - Strikes Again

I suppose it is really normal that a gay household story dont just end with simply a hit on the chest.

So just another day, i was showering after work (which is like morning) and the hong kie housemate was preparing for work. He was in a rush and his wax was in the bathroom, so he asked if i cud past it to him and i say just come in and take (cause i was already comfortably in the hot water and all wet). So he did. In fact he was there waxing his hair and chatting while i shower. So that was the first time. You might wonder, hmm, so he saw everything!? which of course he didn't. Cause there is a divider-curtain thingy in between..

But like the chinese saying, when you r being nice and let these things happen once, the 2nd time pretty much just happens "naturally". "yat ci sang, liong ci sook". And it did. The same thing repeated a week later and this time he just woke up and came in to wash up. We chatted and after he was done he said,

HK: "I think i should shower too.."

Me: "Err, okay, i should be done soon. "

HK: "No dun worry, how bout i join u in there, so we can save time"

Me: "Huh!? hahaha.. " (trying to avoid the awkwardness so pretend he was joking)

HK: "I am serious, i come in and join u k?"

Me: "err.., actually its okay, i am done soon. U can use the shower"

knowing that's a NO, he gave up,

HK: "Oo, okay lo.." *act chill and left*


**********

So yup, cant be too 'easy' all the time, it might give wrong msgs.. but living in a gay household is still interesting, u can always see strangers walking into ur housemate's room. Just the other day, a muscular guy walked into the hong kies's room just while i stepped out, bod is hot for sure (singlet, visible biceps and triceps, tanned), face didnt manage to catch a glimpse though.. but that was good enuf to make me anticipate some screaming from next door.. but too bad, didnt happen..



But still, i love this place...

Letting Go

What do u do to gifts that are from ur ex?

Well, for someone who is emo and cling on to things, i tend to keep it as long as I can. Especially some of the things that are significant, that makes you remember certain things he did for u, or a surprise, or a touching moment...But for people who are decisive or had a bad rs.. i guess it prob goes to the junk the next day.

So this time round, moving to my new place, there just seems to be too many things to move, and doing it alone, i cant help but to throw some away.

I was still really hesitant and reluctant even though a year had passed. Especially the packet of cookies. Obviously it is way passed its expiry date. But it was one of the very few yet most romantic things he did. It was an apology for being fierce to me and he wrote it on the packing, with a sad face smiley. It still reminds me of when u truly like someone, it doesnt matter how badly he hurts you, but the moment he apologize, every unhappy feeling just vanish... maybe it was blind, maybe thats when love makes you generous... but either way, the happiness is real.

But its really time to let go i guess. If it were really meant to be, it doesnt matter if i have the pack of cookie. If it werent meant to be, keeping it wont make any differences either..

********************

This was a gift that i had never even took it out from the plastic bag, but i am really not good at maintaining plush toys...



So i left it in the living room with the note. Hopefully some housemate will buy the little joke and adopt it..

Grateful

It's Sunday 5am, waking up in the middle of the nite no matter how tired i was previously seems to have been something usual since I started working US hour ~ nocturnal life.

I look outside my window and there is the morning mist that forms outside the window, partly because of the aircon in my room and also the height of the room. Suddenly i feel so grateful, that I actually have managed to get this comfortable place for myself. No more worries about plugging an earphone to watch youtube. No more having to move quietly in the night and cant turn on the light whenever i need it. It makes all the night work feel so much relief now...

I actually still feel so thrilled about this place.. A place that's close to what i feel like a home in Singapore.. Finally after all these years.

I guess the only thing I could wish for more now is probably, someone to share this homey feeling with... My home, in the Lion City...

What is Rape?

The lecturer was talking about "Marital Rape", so he asked,

"what is marital rape?"

class was sient...

Then the lecturer said,

"Now, we are all adults here, and we shud be feel open to discuss about topics like this,"

being encouraged by this, a student answered,

"Forced Entrance!"

Everyone was stunned, and obviously trying to hold their laughs..

Lecturer: "So, u mean if someone doesnt let u in their house, and u forced ur way thru the door, that's marital rape?"

The whole class erupt with laughter.. I was laughing out loud too..OMG... that was so descriptive.. LOL..

But like KH says.. he is not wrong too.. Well yea, given the nature of the shape, it seems to need an 'entrance' motion for that.. =p

Tall-er

I want to grow taller!!!!!

*****

I know this sounds totally childish and superficial and shallow... but sometimes i really wish i were taller.. 10 - 15cm can make so much of difference.

Benefits of taller:
-Easier to get spotted in clubs
-Can lend a shoulder to others more easily
-looks intimidating, or if good looking, the charming effect will be 10 times greater
-Potential to work out into "hot" guys..
-Taller people just look better.. is like girls being fair skin..
-Can reach for higher cabinet easier

Drawbacks:
-None

Just random rant... sigh...

1k worth of Bears

I was never quite a plush toy person, but the other day when i saw this ad, for some reason i hav a urge to get it..



I guess i was attracted to the different Major cities each represents (NY, London, Paris, Milan, Tokyo..) and the colorful clothes designs. (I mean i am not even sure what is Paddington)

But, 5 dollar for a stamp, 10 stamps for a bear, and 8 bears.. which means 400bucks in total. (although u also get 400bucks worth of 7-11 stuffs but..) close to 1k ringgit for that 8 bears.. =s

Collector items and limited edition stuffs are pure evil!!!

100% Lover

A story i came across when I was blog hopping, (rough english translation below)

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『從前從前，有一個地方，有一位少年和一位少女。少年十八歲，少女十六歲。少年並不怎麼俊，少女也不怎麼漂亮。是任何地方都有的孤獨而平凡的少年和少女。不過他們都堅決地相信，在這世界上的某個地方，一定有一位100%跟自己相配的少女和少年。
有一天，兩個人在街角偶然遇見了。
「好奇怪呀！我一直都在找妳，也許妳不會相信，不過妳對我來說，正是100%的女孩子呢。」少年對少女說。
少女對少年說：「你對我來說才正是100%的男孩子呢。一切的一切都跟我想像的一模一樣。簡直像在做夢嘛。」
兩個人在公園的長椅上坐下好像有永遠談不完的話，一直談下去，兩個人再也不孤獨了。追求100%的對象，被100%的對象追求，是一件多麼美妙的事啊！ 可是兩個人心裡，卻閃現一點點的疑慮，就那麼一點點－－－夢想就那麼簡單地實現，是不是一件好事呢？
談話忽然中斷的時候，少年這麼說道：「讓我們再試一次看看。如果我們兩個真的是100%的情侶的話，將來一定還會在某個地方再相遇，而且下次見面的時候，如果互相還覺得對方是100%的話，那麼我們馬上就結婚，妳看怎麼樣？」
「好哇。」少女說。
於是兩個人就分手了。其實說真的，實在沒有任何需要考驗的地方：因為他們是名副其實100%的情侶，而且命運的波濤是註定要捉弄有情人的。
就這樣少年長成三十二歲，少女也有三十歲了。時光以驚人的速度流逝而過。
於是在一個四月的晴朗早晨，少年為了喝一杯Morning Service的咖啡，而在原宿一條巷子裡，由東向西走去，兩個人在巷子正中央擦肩而過，失去的記憶的微弱之光，瞬間在兩人心中一閃。
她對我來說，「正是100%的女孩呀！」
他對我而言，「真是100%的男孩啊！」
可是他們記憶之光太微弱了，他們的聲音再也不像十四年前那麼清澈了，兩個人一語不發地擦肩而過，就這樣消失到人群裡去了。
你不覺得很悲哀嗎？我真應該這樣向她開口表白的啊！』

**********

This if i am not too mistaken is a short story from a famous Japanese author. Normally when i feel like sharing a story on my blog, i would do some simple translation and post it. But this article is really interesting and i dun think i can translate it properly, but for the English educated folks, (or Bananas as my friend once call KH so directly =p ), the story basically says,

~Once there was a guy (18) and a girl (16) who are both not particularly outstanding in looks or anything, but both believed that there is a 100% guy/girl that matches themselves somewhere in this world. So one day they met on street, and immediately they knew and realize it and both told each other "you are exactly like the 100% guy/girl i imagine". They clicked on really well, except for one little doubt, that this is too easy. So they decided they will part, as if they were 100% meant for each other, they believe they will meet again. 14 years passed, and they met again on street one day. Immediately in their heart, a voice says "this is the 100% guy/girl for me" but neither cud remember each other, and after 14 years, neither has the impulse as how they used to. 5hey didnt say a word, but simply crossed each other and went on.~



3 things,

-Real life experience has thought us good things never come too easily, but wat if u r that lucky? Is too good to be true means we shudnt take it?

-Right time at the right place and with the right person, i always believe thats how things will work. The story above for example, they met too early for the first time, when they thought it was too easy, imagine if they have a few years of fruitless search, i bet they wud jump on each other immediately. The second time, they were too grown up, where life has thought them too be reserved, and not act on impulse. Think of this, and our gay experience, when we first came into the circle, we imagine all sorts of beautiful love story, we tell someone we just met we had never or only sleep with 1 person and being proud of it. Then years down the road, we see more, we try and failed, and some people start to be reserved, to protect they already worn heart from further harm. They dun easily fall for someone, they let others make a move, or evn 20 moves before they make a step forward. Some dun even believe in it. As some calls it, jaded... What if that person is indeed the right person? But u simply make him feel he is not..

-Lastly, 100% lover, perfect in the eyes of beholder, well, realistically speaking, they never been together before so it seems to be 100% on the superficial side. For me, 100% shud be what u bring to the other, or u compliment ur lover in everyway, that makes it 100% lover. No one is perfect, but u love him for who he is, and u are willing to cover him for what he is lack of. That is 100% perfect lover. And it doesnt always hav to be 50-50.

Blue

Scene: In the lift
People: Me, Little girl (L), her dad (D), her mom (M)

D: what is the color of kor kor's shoe? (asking L)

L: shoooee..

M: Can you tell mommy what is the color xx (xx-L's name)

L: Bluuueee..

Me: (turn to the family, then look at the little girl and smile sweetly, like how a friendly young neighbour shud)

D: is it nice? is the blue shoe beautiful?

Me: (Smile at the little girl again, encouraging her to repeat the last words like how kids shud when the parents are teaching them words, and also daring her to say otherwise, i mean of course its beautiful, dad, i mean her dad must mean that right?)

L: Bluuueee.. (pointing at her dad's sleeper which is blue stripe)

okay, so conclusion:

1. this girl knows what is blue color (or she is a quick learner and obervant)
2. she is a show-off kind of girl (can't wait to point out something else she noticed is blue)
3. she has zero fashion sense, prob an engineer or lawyer or doctor material but and have a closet full of black suits only and cant wear heels (cause she never manage to justify the beautiful pair of blue shoes and was ignorant bout it, i mean do u get see that everyday?)

********************

K, so here it is,



This is one of the 5 pairs i bought without much thinking during my US trip. Good bargain no doubt, but i havent actually used it till yesterday cause,

1. I have 3 pairs to rotate, which is like quite a lot since i mostly use it only for weekends,

2. Too flashy.

Well, not that i mind point 2 since i enjoy other people looking at me and that was the whole point of buying it.. =p ; but i just thought it might be challenging to match the right outfit.

But yesterday it was so hot that i decided i wont wear jeans, my shorts is in checkered blue print, so it seems thats the only pair of shoes that will work (else slippers, but i need to walk a bit, so not ideal).

Surprisingly, (or maybe it shudnt be?) a lot of people actually looked and even talked about it. When i was on the bus, or walking in the mall, when i was getting my hair colored ( and my bestie was getting his haircut and the stylist was asking him bout my shoes) then at kim gary, the uncle next table keep glancing at me top to bottom (cud be the newly colored hair and the shoes, too loud either of it, okay the shoe is louder maybe =p ) and then the zero-fashion-sense little girl when i headed home later that nite.

I think i am starting to like it a lot..

Simple

When I was scrolling on my own blog today i realize how empty it looks, as in my side bar, I dun have visitor counter/tracker, I dun link other blogs although I do enjoy reading them a lot and definitely more than happy to introduce to newbies who hasn't discover them yet, or polls, shoutbox, etc. etc..

The reason was quite simple, that was my initial intention of starting this blog. Which is to tell a person about whats happening in my life. Because we agree to not contact each other. So i try to let him know I have started a blog, and he did eventually found out about it.

I still remember how I purposely made my changing job sounds like I am just resigning, without mentioning the new job. I know i was cheating, I was trying to trick him to call me, to ask me himself. But somehow he got his bestie to make up some reason and call me to ask about if there is any job recommendation for her friend in my company.

And then Leu or L2 discover my blog, it was from his blog that I expanded to knowing more bloggers, William, Sky and eventually a whole group of friends because of Will's hubby.. something I never really foresee..

So I guess, the whole blog, was just meant to record part of my life, and telling the person who cares. It was at one point a truly relief, times where u had the phone in ur palm, the number dialed, and only just a click away from calling to that person. Yet you know you shouldn't. It's a promise. And now, it may or may not be the same person anymore, but I decided to keep it the way it was.

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My favourite song, and finally they made a MV of it...



I really dun mind marrying him, even if he didn't have those abs he flaunt so much lately.

Office Cool Stuffs

This maybe something very common for people in the management level especially those in MNCs, but it was the first time for "sua-ku" people like me so i was like really excited over it.. we did Telepresence, which means I am on TV!!!

Okay, thats just literally correct. I am indeed on TV but its not a public broadcast, simply to all our folks in various places in US,



Basically the setup is like above, 3 monitors to broadcast up to like from 3 different places accross the globe. I thought it was so cool! and best part of it, u dun have to manually swtich to whoever is speaking. If u want the camera on u, just swtich on the mic and the camera will detect which one has voice coming and thus focus on it. And its crystal clear.. even for us working in the tech field, we r all "wow-ing" over it.. Its definitely fun stuffs!



And i decided to cut my hair just to look tidy for this ocassion.. bye to long hair, and my pony tail.. =(

Finger Pointing

I guess if one has blog-hopped enough, it would be pretty impossible to miss Tuls's recent entry which generated some kind of "comment-war", last i saw was 40+ but i am sure it grew on.

Blog is basically some online diary, for a detail wiki definition you may actually checkout Takashi latest entry (coincidentally Takashi wrote on this too, like a thousand word essay, since he is one of those being accused =p ) In that sense, everyone has the right to write whatever they believe in, which really goes without saying.

This is not so much about spreading the right ideology or a proper way to lead a gay life, or healthy life. Its a blog, not a what-u-shud-do-as-a-gay educational site. The first thought that came to my mind when I read about the comment that started all it was, nope, it doesnt make sense. Simply because i believe if a person actually reads a blog, he probably shud have read enough of other stuffs to tell wat's right and wat's wrong. Just a simple example, there are many bloggers who talk about their own healthy relationship lifestyle, why doesnt that gives an impression of looking for a proper bf and not fooling around? It is merely a personal choice if u ask me, one own lust, desire, and his own mentality. (Then again, i am not saying the poor kid ask for what happened, obviously he has been badly taken advantage of... but i dun think its so much because of what blogger writes either)

And if blogger were to blame for causing that kind of gay lifestyle, then the author and producer of "Sex and the City" shud be hanged cause the book not only talk openly about random sex, but drugs, sex trade for money and even relate them to luxurious life. Guilty?

Sickening

My mom hardly called me directly. Most of the time she would ask my bro to text me to call home, since she doesnt know how to use idd cards. So when she actually does it, it means something is really urgent. Today, she called. Directly.

Immediately i called back cause such incidents always makes me worry something unpleasant might have happened. It turns out she wanted to give me a heads up on a potential call from my uncle, to ask for money.

***

My family is the least financially able among the other uncles or aunts. I wouldnt go to the extent of saying poor, but my dad has to leave the country for 10 years plus to clear off some debts and make ends meet. So all these years, we were taught and brought up without much luxury or over comfortable life. No holidays, no living in pricey hotels, hardly buying clothes thats not on discount, never bother looking at restaurants in shopping malls etc.. Even sometimes when dad send us some gifts such as handheld consoles, mom wud ask us to not use it in front of other cousins, cause she doesnt want others to think we are living a comfortable life, as they r still in some debts to them.

So, because of that, every now and then whenever I got good resulsts in the govrn exams, all my aunts and uncles wud give me some pockt money. Especially this particular uncle who is a bank manager, he is addicted to gambling, so whenever he is in luck and win like ten of thousands (which shows how heavily he is betting) he would giv us some pocket money, 50 to 100. and also gives my mom money, partly to help my family and also partly because my mom would always help to babysit his children since both the couple are working.

All the way until i made it to uni, i got my own scholarship, i start to refused taking money from them. Cause as i grew older, i understand they never really gave it sincerely, it was more like just one of the kids (probably the only one) who made it to newspaper now and then, so its a formality to give. And also, because they r "helping" my family, they always speak with zero respect for my parents, one uncle once said this,

"If u gave her money, xx sure will want.." xx refers to my mom, that was when they have a dispute over my grandma's asset when she passed away.

I swear to myself i will never ever respect this person again.

So ever since i started working, i never hide how much i am willing to splash on my brother or my mom. My ex once commented i change a lot, i didnt realize myself but i guess thats in a way making up for myself. That i can enjoy whatever i want and i earn every single thing by myself. The same for my brother, my mom, i felt like i want them to be able to enjoy life too, to spnd hundred bucks at restaurant once in a while, to be able to buy something you like. cause I earned this all by myself, and we have every right to live a better life like everyone else.

***

Though, i never quite see this coming. My uncle, who is a gambling addict, seems to have gone too far lately, geetting himself in debt despite the hundred thousands of penchant he has. So he came to my mom, asking her for RM 7k, he says those are the money he has given her all these years and wanted it back. He even told his wife that my mom "borrowed" from him and his wife came and ask my mom for it. When my mom told him thats ridiculous and how can she get that amount of money in such short notice, he questioned my mom like

"You can afford to go to Bangkok for holiday and you tell me you have no money?"

Like i said, how would i have foreseen, a holiay to take my mom out of the country for the first time in more than 10 years, and a holiday to bring my brother on flight for the first time in his life, could have been used as a reason to repay "debt"

He even threatened to call me up for the money if my mom refuse to give him the money. Which is why my mom panic and called me up first. Talk about loan shark. And he is her own blood related brother.

If my uncle calls, he wont get anything from me, simply because the way he put it. Though I told mom that if his wife too insist after she tells her the real story, i can pay it. But that shud be pretty much the last time we r talking to them. I am just concerned my mom has to deal with this alone.

A brother, a beggar, a robber, suddenly they seems related.

This was the first thing i heard in the day. Its probably one of the most sickening day in my life to start with. I actually feel like puking whenever i think of it.

The SkyPark

I dun have a habit of using my real camera due to convenience and my lack of enthusiasm for photography. So when a friend was commenting on his bf wanting to take some photos of night views up at MBS, i answer excitedly,

me: "yea, lets go, i want to take some photo too!!!"

friend: "ahh, so u r a photography person too?"

me: "No, i mean i want to be in the photos."

and he immediately give me the = =" (sien) look.. =p

********************

So, these are some photos taken with my phone camera.. not the best quality but at least i can share it conveniently thru my phone..

-Evening at Skypark



-The legendary Infinity pool



and for Will, after looking at all these pics,i have to admit i am still 85%... Those pecs are no where near worth 8% yet.. but for ur viewing pleasure since ur hubby made all these happenned.. =D

Luxurious Weekend

With many many many thanks to Will's hubby... Last weekend I had a "expensive" experience at Marina Bay Sand. With rooms facing the city night view and also going to the Famous Skypark all the time and experiencing the "infinity pool"

The room was one of the most spacious I had ever lived in. And they even served complimentary Macaroons! And the bathroom was like really really huge, with a separate toilet and shower room (which has a small sitting place like those in steam room) and a huge, washing, basin, bath tub area. That itself was almost like the room of a Tune Hotel, or even bigger.

The experience was really amazing. Thanks to KH...

***********************************************

Although I realize i was more tired than I thought, I slept for more than 12 hours in a row later..



A favourite video, or guy i am quite addicted to lately, Darren Criss... Although there may not be a BF in my life at the moment, but there sure are a few of "Soul Mates", or Soul Sisters (since we are gay :p) whom I can share a lot with... thanks to u all...

Crap Coffee Revisited

The picture above depicts a liquid that contains,
10% Sugar
40% Coffee
50% WATER

I was practically staring at the girl in disbelieve when she stop pouring coffee when it was less than half filled and started adding hot water, pure boiling hot water!!

You call that a coffee? That's coffee flavored water!!!

********************

Nothing can be more irritating when u needed a coffee to kickstart a day but ended up with coffee flavored syrup water.. Damn u tb..

Gay Roomie

After 3 days settling into the new place, i kinda experience something i never foresaw for having gay roomies or housemate.

My tall, macho landlord is away for his army stuffs, so not really around since Monday. Basically that leaves me and the hongkie HR guy.

So far, the feeling of living in a gay household feels like a girls household, tonnes of cosmetic or facial, shower proucts in the bathroom, which btw makes me feel a little out of place given my toileitries,

-dove shampoo
-head and shoulder
-listerine

while my toiletmate has like 20 items in the whole bathroom. Like, am i really gay?

Okay, next thing, is the used of toilet roll, my landlord insisted i dun have to buy anything, he stocks up shampoo (which i am actually using cause my old one is still at the old place), toothbrush, laundry products, all kinds of food and drinks and ask me to use them at will... thats very generous actually. But back to toilet roll, my toiletmate finishes like one whole new roll (cause just change it) over sunday nite and monday morning, i was like "what!?"... well not that i mind but i am picturing someday the landlord will be asking bout the fast consumption and we will be finger pointing at each other saying "he is using alot" =s, hopefully that doesnt happen.. so girl-fight like..

Last thing, i know close girl friends will like feel, touch and compare each other breast and talk about it. But gay roomie?? I had this habit of not wearing shirt at home.. especially after shower, so this morning i bump into my housemate when i reach home. Both topless, he just woke up while i changed out of my work clothes preparing for shower. So he was checking me like top to btm and up again.. after a while he asked about if i gym and i say

"yea, just simple workout before work"

next thing he was saying, "u did quite well," staring at my chest..

"haha, just okay, not really hardcore gym kind" i reply..

"no ah, ur chest looks really nice" and he punched my chest softly and leaving ther for like 5 seconds before i shrink backward

"haha..."

it was kinda awkward, but to be fair i was checking my landlord and him too when they walk around topless and in boxers.. =p

so its like girls where u r not so concern bout checking each other out but different in a sense they cud be potential prey..

living in a gay household~~~

The Big Apple

Gone Tomorrow - Lee Child

...Jack Reacher, looking at 3 5-storey worn and old town house in the heart of Manhattan, they may be old and not even suitable for living, but they are worth tonnes, "Air Rights" he thought, this is New York City, they sell everything on the ground, and above...

*************************************

Everyone Worth Knowing - Lauren Weisberger

...

" I had a friend who fell into a horrible depression after her favourite grandmother died and her boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her. She couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't drag herself out of bed. She got fired because she never showed up for work. Huge bags under her eyes. Refused to see anyone. Never answered her phone. When I finally showed up at her aparment after months of this, she confided that she was considering suicide."

"How awful, " I murmured.

"Yeah, it was awful. But you know what got her throught? I'd stopped at the Hermes store on the way over to her apartment, asked for an update.. just in case. And you know what? I was able to tell her when I got there that she was only 18 months away from her Birkin. Do you believe it? 18 months!"

"Well... what did she say?, " I ventured.

"She was estatic! The last time she checked it was going to be 5 years but they had trained a whole new crew of craftsmen and her name was due up in a year and half. She got into shower the very moment and agreed to go lunch with me. That was 6 months ago. Since then she got her job back and has another boyfriend. Don't you see? That Birkin gave her a reason to live! You simply cannot kill yourself when you're that close... it's just not an option."

...

*********************************************

These are 2 books I read recently, the first one was a action-thriller book about Jack Reacher, an ex-military cop fighting and trying to outsmart a team of 20 Terrorist with 2 female leader, one extremely and also dangerously beautiful.

Second one was pretty much sex and the city kind of casual readings.

Both books talk about New York City, in a very different way though. One talks about the terrorist, crime and every kind of cops, CIA, FBI, federal agents working among the people, while the other about the glamorous life in the Big Apple.

I have quoted 2 parts which gave me a very deep impression, first everything has a value in NYC, even the air above your house. Second, on how the cut-short waiting time for a Birkin (kindly google if this is the first time u heard of it) saved a girl's life.

All these things sounds pretty ridiculous else where, like who cares about the air above my house in Ipoh, or the bag incident, like you have to be on a wait list to pay 20K for a bag (even for the suicide, who knows, it may be real? ). But New York City, it just seems anything is possible there.

That's the charm of the Big Apple.