Holiday!

The past few days i was either too tired or busy packing and settling the month end stuffs until whenver i thought of writing something my body refuses to obey...

So finally!!! today is the day i will be flying off to KL to kick start my CNY holiday!!! Well actually KL is a transit spot, i am taking my mom and bro to Bangkok. Mom flying again after good 15 years and my bro for the fisrt time, I just simply feel i should be with them, so instead of meeting at bkk, i head to KL first. Think might head to the nice mall at bukit bintang for dinner...

Wishing everyone a happy Chinese New Year!!

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One a side note, this is the first time i am flying Tiger, hence using the budget airline... erm... all i can say is, singapore is really good at "categorizing" things, when they say budget, everything is really budget, the staff at the check in, the seatings, the guard's face, McD breakfast ran out of hashbrown and force u to take fries, even this full price non-budget secret recipe pumpkin soup,



you would think i have drank half of it... it was the "full" bowl! totally budget services.. =s

Aunties Charmer

When I fall for something, it is very likely its gonna become some routine. Pray My earning can catch up before I pick up the habit of shopping in Gucci...

So there, this is my recent favourite,


I always have one hot (yes, its HOT not warm) cup of Soya Milk when I reach home every morning. The slightly burning feeling that comes to the mouth and the soya milk aroma feels really good early in the morning when it is slightly breezy.

Most of the stall keepers at the Mr.Bean outlet are aunties in the 40s 50s. And every morning they will try to make small talk and smile sweetly, of course being a polite boy I always answer enthusiastically and smile back... so there, again I hardly need to say but when I step in they know what I want and will start asking question about my family, where I am from etc etc... all little talks to flirt.

I cant help but notice I am quite an auntie charmer.. This is just one of the many examples.. *roll eyes* (I know what u r gonna say, KH taught me this word, perasaan *or something like that) hehe... =p

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and today, when i step into the store it was empty, then after talking to the aunties for a while and I got my soya milk and turn to leave, I realize there are 4 aunties queueing behind already,



Gosh, I am become like the cat that brings business too, once I step in aunties follow too..

On William Zai's Request

William wanted me to post something happy, so I was pondering... and then I decided, right, I will buy something, that would make me happy!

So there, Porter 10th Anniversary Jubileed collection, shoulder sling bag.



It looks like a miniature of my tote laptop bag, except in a special 10th Anniversary special addition wine color.



I have been eyeing this for a while and with William encouragement to make myself happy i came to the decision... Totally love the design and the fact that it is special edition and looks like my work bag except a minature version. And now i have a small weekend bag to carry my paperbacks and keys and even shirts for change, rather than in a plastis bag...

So there Will, I bought something to fulfill your request... And it cost me ... O well, nvm.. I will eat bread for a month, I like'em anyway...

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Okay, just kidding =p I wanted to buy this bag for a while but it was a very pleasant feeling to finally give myself a treat.. Yay!! ^^

And I alsoi tried this very prosperous breadtalk bun for CNY... like a chinese COIN'

and it was quite nice actually, So Yay! Again.. =p

Another love song

A friend once said, "I can totally feel what the song is saying now.." when I pass him a song when he was feeling upset. I guess in a broad sense, relationship arent that different afterall. All the more, when a relationship has gone bad...

This particular one by our very own diva, has touched me today... I was watching the Music Video seriously for the first time, and i realize the story is about a past love. Obviously, they werent together eventually. But wat really makes me feel emo was actually the part when it talks about the first love song he wrote for her. Which was also her first love.

The first time I got hugged so tightly by him because we have been apart for a week of year end holiday. The first kiss, that he asked in a shy way. The first time we locked eyes, and knew that we want to be together... and i realize how very much I missed this kind of feeling. A feeling that no matter how many cute boys I hugged, how many hot guys I kissed is still no where comparable nor will I probably remember the next day. Because I know very well it doesn't belong to me.

It was indeed a beautiful love song that we shared... very very beautiful...

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Forever and ever, this love song will follow me,



and the next love song? It will get better and better... I wish...

Simple Post

Brain jammed again, I almost fall asleep standing in the MRT. Feel myself falling and woke up in shock. It was sooo embarassing...

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A very sweet song that I enjoy listening a lot lately,

...
我想对你说
却害怕都说错
好喜欢你 知不知道
...

It's a guy-and-guy world

Most of the time, after meeting up with someone, one of the thoughts that would form is go or no-go. Well of course first thing is you are into the other person. That's like the basic. Assuming that you are keen. Then next thing is like a kind of feeling that you get from how the other person response to you, whether he is showing the same interest or totally thought it was a crap date.

In my only relationship, or a few short more than dates friendship, it kinda gives me the impression that if someone is keen too, it will just happen. If it doesn't, most of the time nothing more will happen be it in the near or light-years away future.

But, in a straight relationship, there are occasions when a guy keep trying to court and impressed a girl and eventually wins their heart. I am not sure if it will never be the case for a gay relationship or I simply give up too easily when I feel the other person doesn't response too much.

Will it ever happen? Has it ever happen that someone you know who is so persistent and eventually won someone over with his sincerity and charm?

Afterall, we belong to a guy-and-guy world. There seems to be a little pride that tells us, if he is not keen, why make a fool or urself, we shud be equal... No?

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Starbucks @ Richmond,



This is one of the very first pictures I took when I touch down in US that makes me feel i put on tonnes of weight ever since...

A Place Called Here

Ever wonder where lost things/people go to? Cecelia Ahern says they go to a place called Here.

From the author of "P.S. I Love You", I was browsing in the bookstore and I have picked this up after flipping through a few chapters. I used to be a fan of science-fantasy kind of fictions, the theme itself of a place for missing people and things was interesting enough to make me buy it. First time reading Cecelia Ahern's book, it is not as cannot-let-down as Dan Brown or Rowling, neither as funny-laughter kind like shopaholic and devils wears prada series. However, it has the kind of mystery hidden every now and then to keep you going to the end of the book.

I am still at about 1/3 of the book. The reason I am writing this is simply I wanted to make a guess as to what the ending will be. Quick summary of the story, a girl, obsessed about finding missing stuffs since young has gone lost herself during one of her mission to find a missing person. She ended up at this place where all those people she has searched for through the years are living, as well as the things that gone missing. The problem is, no one ever got lost from there, or in other word, get out of that place.

I am pretty sure that none of the missing people will get back to real world, that's pretty much sure. Although some people believes she was suppose to be there to "save" them and bring them back to real world. But imagine people gone missing all these years suddenly appearing again. So yea.

So the question is, will the girl go back? If she does, it violates the rules in this whole gone-missing system. It could have been revealed in the end all these people who have gone missing are actually dead. So she might not go back. Cause it might be revealed in the end she actually encountered some misfortune but she lost her memory of that incident.

Somehow, I feel this story was written more for populating the idea that the missing people are living in a world where they have found their peace and quiet. They are not suffering, and they have their own comfortable life in another place. It was suppose to bring hope and belief to people whose family member are missing. What more to hope for, than they living well and happy?

There is also romance, but i kinda got a hunch it will be a sad one...

Gosh, what did i get myself into, I should be reading Mini Shopaholic....

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Our pride...



a.k.a. The William-I-Know-You-Are-Bottom song... =p

The N'th Brain Jam

It has been a while, but lately I seem to have gone back to very irregular sleeping routine just trying to fit in some social life. End up i might have slept only 3 hours a day or 4-5 hours for a few consecutive days...

This bad habit has taken its toll.. I am feeling so tired these days I always fall asleep half way doing something... like in a unconcious way.. again, it has reallly been a while since i sleep like this. But it is soo hard to get social life while maintaining this sleep pattern... *sniff sniff* ...

"wan cin sun fu"...

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Randomw rambling... but sure missed those days in Richmond where we drive to work in the day, kick start with starbucks and bagels, lunch with salad then dinner have steak and sleep comfortably in a 24/7 air-cond room... then weekend drive down to some crappy chinatown in DC...


I wanna go again... =(

Too Much

Being once in the situation of stubbornly believing that my relationship still has a chance and ignoring what my friends are telling me about a more rational/realistic version of the picture, I guess I can understand how it feels. Though to be fair no one knows what persistent is going to pay off, you may have really been able to touched the other person and changed him, or people will always be the same. No one knows.

Lately, I have witnessed a situation where a friend's relationship faced some challenges. A mutual close friend was trying to give some advice, or point out some facts to this friend. Personally I do agree with this mutual friend's advice, and i guess to most people who knows, it just cant be more obvious. However, the friend has simply thanked for the concern and requested our mutual friend to forget about what had happened and pretend he doesn't know and dun mention it again...

Well, when i heard of it, I simply thought it was really idiotic, cause I know very well how this mutual friend cares sincerely for him and on the other hand, how true the fact he has pointed out. Although we might not know the full story but from the known facts, it is good enough to make judgement.

Is it too much to interfere in other's people love life or it is TOO MUCH to tell ur friend off for showing their concern. (well obviously i have taken my side but then again, I might be too naive in such things.. but still seeing how one's concern came with "Please pretend nothing happen" reply and still being defensive, i simply think it is ridiculous..)

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We are all blinded by love, A blinded fool...



But if it makes u shed tear so painfully, is that still Love?

Perfect or Just Accomodate

The perfect person is always too good to be true. But still we always talk about the perfect person for ourselves. I guess the keyword here is "self", we judge by our own standards...

Many times in a relationship, I cant help but notice a lot of people (probably including my very own) is probably not the perfect match. How easily your partner would sway, how very often he has doubt, how very often he doesn't feel guilty telling you he is annoyed by you? Probably in their thought it is like, well he is not too bad, kinda cute, or has a good build, or has a good careeer... all these factors comes in and make us accomodate who he is. But it is often so very easy that accomodating leads to loosing the patient and coolness. Simply because the other person is not the perfect one, to some extent, he probably feels indifferent about loosing the other...

I always believe that ff you really like someone, you would instinctively wants to protect him. On the other hand, if you dun have that feeling, it is probably a more kind act, to simply let him go than torturing a nice person who is worth more love. For you for the other...

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I made my choice, even till this day, it is probably still for the better...



We might not be realizing promises we made together, but at least 2 other person in this world has the chance of realizing it with us.. right? ~說好的幸福呢

Ex-Reunion

Eversince I came back from US, I never had a chance to pass the stuffs I got for my ex to him. Until 2 months later, on the New Year Day itself, we finally got a chance to meet up. A special way to welcome 2011?

It was a mix feeling to see him again. More than a year since our breakup. He hasn't changed much, pretty much still the same in many ways. Although he did commented I changed a lot, but mostly on the way I spend. Well, I lived through 4 years of Uni days not daring to spend more than 3 bucks on single meal (budget was 2 bucks in year 1 and no breakfast) so I guess now I am earning on myself I deserve better treat?

After some casual chat and updates, we did a little shopping (I was accompanying him) before we went for dinner. I am not sure if it is really totally possible to move on and be indifferent towards your ex. But at least it doesn't work for me. In facts many things just keep popping into my mind. Which include (unavoidable?) silly things like whether he wants to get back together. Especially when we had dinner at at Japanese steamboat place and he keep helping me getting me the food. I practically doesn't need to move much, he just keep putting stuffs into my bowl. Something I am not sure it even happened much when we were together... And he also mentioned his best friends asked about me, he aunts remembered me and thought of if I needed a room when she has one to rent out. It was quite a surprise that I havent been totally gone from his life, especially the people around him...

Whole nite, whenever my mind is not occupied by our conversation, it just keep flashing back how it used to be and now, somewhat a reflection, bitter, sweet, painful memories. And also some realization. It really was a mixed feeling.

Even the very last moment when we parted, I boarded my train first, and I know he was staring at my direction, probably trying to wave a goodbye through the window pane. But I have stand at a position where our eyes wouldn't meet. I am not sure if I was trying to act cool, indifferent, or merely trying to avoid his gaze, so i wont keep on having the silly thoughts...

Though realistically, I know it is very unlikely. For one, a year time was more than enough to reflect that we really werent meant to be, as he put it in the very first place. And secondly somehow I got a feeling, an intuition that he is probably seeing someone or might even be attached. Then again, why not? he seems ideal in many ways, his 183 built figure, his profession, his stylish look...

But to be really honest, I am truly happy for you... I really am.. =)

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"... I wanna say thank you; 'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter..."



This song MINUS the hatred.

One year with him, was a big leap for a kampung boy like me to someone with a little dress sense, someone who nows use cologne and perfume, wears something other than g-shock sport watches. Someone who knows where to dine and treat oneself to a decent meals at times. Someone who knows at least 80% of the Major labels in Orchard road.

But rest assure, I havent changed into a shopaholic, deep down, I am still very the same person, like how u first met me in berms, tee shirt and slippers (all unknown brands). Except my limit is slightly higher now and indeed been thru last year, i am indeed much wiser and stronger...

Thank You.. :)

Soup-Or-Bowl

I never knew what was Super Bowl until my Manager brought it up at the end of a meeting. It is probably one of those most happening America Sports event, but anyway I always wonder if gay guys are ever really enthusiastic about sports, or merely the Sportsmen and the moment they ripped off their shirts to celebrate victory...

Anyway, he went around asking everyone's bet and I was trying to google it, so end up someone asked me which city I like most since I dunno and I was tempted to say New York City... But my boss joked about Honolulu... which was funny actually.. :P

Just when I thought it was over, then my boss send out this email...

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Here were today’s pick with red indicating chosen winner.

John - Pittsburgh / Atlanta

Joe - Jets / Green Bay

Gary – Baltimore / Atlanta

Jim – New England / Atlanta

Tim – New England / Atlanta

Emilio – New England / Green Bay

Kain – New England / Green Bay

David – New England / Atlanta

Chris - New England / Green Bay

Dave – New England / Green Bay

Chih Ping’s prediction for the winner of “Soup or Bowl” is Soup...

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Sometimes it just feels great when despite different cultures, country background, people do make an effort to make you not feel left out... It was really funny, yet touched to see this little joke..

Habit

I have to stayed back after work to attend some committee member meeting. Well the meeting itself was "eventful" enough, but I am simply to exhausted to write down today.

While waiting for the meeting to start, I have like 2 hours, so i went to McD to have my a coffee and my Devil's Wears Prada. I at one point love black coffee, but somehow, for McD, I actually make it really creamy, like really really creamy...



Yup 4 sticks of creamer and half stick of sugar, it was a habit that I developed during my last job where everyday I have to wake at 6 to do some dumb system checking, for 2 consecutive months and the senior people keep avoiding the suppose-to-happen rotation. Anyway, they have to do it now, like it or not... =p

Habit, somethings just get in so deep, it is never easy to change, just like some people in our lives...

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McD, it is still coffee even half way across the globe...

A Grindr Story

...

A: So do you have facebook?

B: Yea, ...

A: Okay added you..

...

A: Hey, C is your friend?

B: Yea, you know him too?

A: Ya, I know him from here (grindr) too..

B: Ahh I see.. Okay, haa..

A: Yup, and I just had fun with him recently.

B: Huh? Fun?

A: Yea.

B: Fun as in..

A: Fun lo, you know la...

B: Haha, okay... Err.. So your place or his place?

A: Haa.. secret...

B: haha.. kk.. nvm..

A: I was suppose to meet him yesterday.

B: Oo, okay, then?

A: Then I cancel le..

B: Ah, right.

A: So you wanna try?

B: Err... mm.. Haha...

-------------------------------------------------

The above incident would have been just something B could teased C on if they are close friends. Or B do A then discuss with C on how they feel about A if they are disgustingly close...

Except... C is ATTACHED. And B knows C's boyfriend.

This makes all the differences, this whole encounter no longer seems like a joke to tease his friend anymore. In the gay circle, there is something like Open relationship, there are couples who feel deeply that it doesn't matter who the other sleeps with, as long as he comes back and knows he is still the one. Prob Just pretend he did some sex toy or soemthing.. However, as far as B knows, C and his Boyfriend are not on Open terms...

Of course, on a side note, C is kinda unfortunate to have chosen A to fool with, obviously A intentionally wants to Big-Mouth about it for some reason... I mean you fool around and you are telling the whole world? What are you doing? Trying to break Gusiness record on most-known-sleep-around-with-your-friends-bitch ?

This is the typical kind of topic for mid-nite radio show...

DJ Kidz: If you were B, what should you do?

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DJ Kidz: While waiting for your call in lets tune in to this song by Fish Leong...



DJ Kidz: You would have to agree to the lyrics, it is not ALWAYS the third person's fault...

Having "Real" Expectation

I know I just wrote about this a while ago, but today, it just thought me again what is it like to have a real "real expectation", and should by all means eliminate the very very very mere hope of "luck" factor... Many times when I tell myself be real think realistically, but somewhere, I still keep hoping maybe there will be some lucky encounter that is like a miracle. However, we are living in a real world. We should really jsut stay within our means, stay within our own league...

Another tiring and fruitless day... and I sacrificed my sleep and gym again... *Big Sigh*

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The more perfect they are, they more distant they shall be... Its only just REAL to be that way...

The Dominant One

Conventionally, Top=Husband=PhysicallyStronger=Mature= Dominant Figure, the one who make the main decision and takes care of the household, family etc... And I mean in gay terms. I guess simply because we inherit this idea from the straight world we grew up in.

I always remember when I first meeting people, I always have this expectation of a more dominant figure, more or less probably a young handsome sugar daddy person now that I come to think of it. And it is not hard to read from youngster profile that many are indeed after that kind of figure. Probably the other kind is crazily after sex. Has to be one of these...

Only as years goes, that the more I see and experience, the more I understand being able to look after someone, take care of people whom u care, or love is a blessing. And the happiness you gain from it, the smile you see on their face is priceless. The ability to give. Furthermore being gay, there is always this part of us that has an affection towards another Male figure, be it the body, or the character like the "Man-li-ness" in him and the ability of one to protect or look after you. Else, why wud one become gay?

I am not sure how true is this, but probably a successful couple, is one where there is some kind of harmony or balance achieve in this, its kinda mutual, that both is giving but yet it will never be balance, i mean take a very simple example, I dun quite believe there is a versatile couple who keep track of who is btm the last time. So the statistics HAS to be skewed. Right?

And this is not easy, given that in our soceity of thousands of years of civilization, a men is dominant and woman is protected, but we only have that many years in our lives, to learn and adapt and match... say from our teen, to 30yo thats only 15 years? Compare to literatures, stories, even Disney Prince and Princesses are more than 100 year old (or close to).

Its not easy, but we have made our choice...

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I have fallen for this song lately, especially this contest version...



一切一切,在故事结束时都不存在了~ 一切都掉了...

The Countdown

Prior to 2010, most of my countdown are simply just at home, watch TV countdown then sleep... That's about it.

Then in 2009/10 something interesting happened, someone proposed Night Cycling on the eve, a very common activity in Singapore especially Uni but we are doing it on the eve, cycling into 2010.

Starting from the Famous East Coast Park, ECP,


Then we stopped at geylang for the famous Soya Bean (and prostitution) and our girlfriends were being stared by those old uncles walking past, probably because of those really short sports shorts.. I was like LOL-ing...

Then we reached a bridge just 10 minutes before countdown... and BOOM!


Next was another break-ie at Newton Circle..


Then we turned around and hit Central Downtown, where lots of people are drunken and lying on the floor... CBD, that's the most interesting and unorganized sight I have even seen in Sg...


Finally when everyone is TOTALLY exhausted, we reached back in ECP in the morning... McD Breakfast before returning the bic and making our way home into 2010..


It was REALLY FUN!!!

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So after a year, pay raise, and meeting a new group of "kaya" punya friend, i got intro into a more comfy (also expensive) way of welcoming 2011. We went to City Space Bar at Swissotel. It is located at the 70th floor... and the lightings the ambience everything says classy... no heavy crowd, no sweating, all just drinks after drinks and we have some sushi too and FREE FLOW OF KACANG... (okay that sounds cheap, I know.. but free flow leh, go check how much Kbox is charging per miserable bowl)

There is also New Asia Bar above full of tall, well dressed girls and also LENGZAI's Yes, all those fine dressed, well groomed, tall, handsome lengzai, it makes all those clubs like Play, Taboo and Zirca looks totally out of League... But we didn't hang around there much, just walk thru and have a feel.. and back to our comfy table at the bar below with Piano and a sweet lady singinging (and also keep promoting us, a table of 6 "single" handsome guys, girls are welcome.. so NOT, we want Lengzai's! and for the record, 4 are attached and 2 among them are couple okay!)

No doubt the view is the one that cost so much, but totally spectacular... we can actually see like 3 different places having fireworks. And the lights of the Lion City...

Okay, here I would like to apologize to the Lengzai friend next to me, I am not sure if he minds me putting up the photo on blog but I really couldn't find one that shows the nice city view and me alone... And I am not sure if I shud expose the lengzai's face without his permission but just thought I shudn't take chance.. so Sorry~~ !

Expensive, but totally worth it... it was a very cozy evening, but it was nothing less fun than last year, a good chat with like minded friends can be really fun too..

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During the countdown, we were hugging each other, but particularly when I notice the couple hugging, it was soo different, they were really hugging each other passionately, it is so obvious from their eyes, the way they look softly and gently at each other... Gosh I am jealous la....

Hopefully next year, I wont be taking photo alone again...

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year to all who reads this! May the new year 2011 be another great year for you and for me. May everyone be blessed with happiness, good health, prosperity and lots and lots of love.. =D

Happy New Year!!!


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Specially dedicated to the singles,



Put ur hands ups!