Ex-Reunion

Eversince I came back from US, I never had a chance to pass the stuffs I got for my ex to him. Until 2 months later, on the New Year Day itself, we finally got a chance to meet up. A special way to welcome 2011?

It was a mix feeling to see him again. More than a year since our breakup. He hasn't changed much, pretty much still the same in many ways. Although he did commented I changed a lot, but mostly on the way I spend. Well, I lived through 4 years of Uni days not daring to spend more than 3 bucks on single meal (budget was 2 bucks in year 1 and no breakfast) so I guess now I am earning on myself I deserve better treat?

After some casual chat and updates, we did a little shopping (I was accompanying him) before we went for dinner. I am not sure if it is really totally possible to move on and be indifferent towards your ex. But at least it doesn't work for me. In facts many things just keep popping into my mind. Which include (unavoidable?) silly things like whether he wants to get back together. Especially when we had dinner at at Japanese steamboat place and he keep helping me getting me the food. I practically doesn't need to move much, he just keep putting stuffs into my bowl. Something I am not sure it even happened much when we were together... And he also mentioned his best friends asked about me, he aunts remembered me and thought of if I needed a room when she has one to rent out. It was quite a surprise that I havent been totally gone from his life, especially the people around him...

Whole nite, whenever my mind is not occupied by our conversation, it just keep flashing back how it used to be and now, somewhat a reflection, bitter, sweet, painful memories. And also some realization. It really was a mixed feeling.

Even the very last moment when we parted, I boarded my train first, and I know he was staring at my direction, probably trying to wave a goodbye through the window pane. But I have stand at a position where our eyes wouldn't meet. I am not sure if I was trying to act cool, indifferent, or merely trying to avoid his gaze, so i wont keep on having the silly thoughts...

Though realistically, I know it is very unlikely. For one, a year time was more than enough to reflect that we really werent meant to be, as he put it in the very first place. And secondly somehow I got a feeling, an intuition that he is probably seeing someone or might even be attached. Then again, why not? he seems ideal in many ways, his 183 built figure, his profession, his stylish look...

But to be really honest, I am truly happy for you... I really am.. =)

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"... I wanna say thank you; 'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter..."



This song MINUS the hatred.

One year with him, was a big leap for a kampung boy like me to someone with a little dress sense, someone who nows use cologne and perfume, wears something other than g-shock sport watches. Someone who knows where to dine and treat oneself to a decent meals at times. Someone who knows at least 80% of the Major labels in Orchard road.

But rest assure, I havent changed into a shopaholic, deep down, I am still very the same person, like how u first met me in berms, tee shirt and slippers (all unknown brands). Except my limit is slightly higher now and indeed been thru last year, i am indeed much wiser and stronger...

Thank You.. :)