Conventionally, Top=Husband=PhysicallyStronger=Mature= Dominant Figure, the one who make the main decision and takes care of the household, family etc... And I mean in gay terms. I guess simply because we inherit this idea from the straight world we grew up in.
I always remember when I first meeting people, I always have this expectation of a more dominant figure, more or less probably a young handsome sugar daddy person now that I come to think of it. And it is not hard to read from youngster profile that many are indeed after that kind of figure. Probably the other kind is crazily after sex. Has to be one of these...
Only as years goes, that the more I see and experience, the more I understand being able to look after someone, take care of people whom u care, or love is a blessing. And the happiness you gain from it, the smile you see on their face is priceless. The ability to give. Furthermore being gay, there is always this part of us that has an affection towards another Male figure, be it the body, or the character like the "Man-li-ness" in him and the ability of one to protect or look after you. Else, why wud one become gay?
I am not sure how true is this, but probably a successful couple, is one where there is some kind of harmony or balance achieve in this, its kinda mutual, that both is giving but yet it will never be balance, i mean take a very simple example, I dun quite believe there is a versatile couple who keep track of who is btm the last time. So the statistics HAS to be skewed. Right?
And this is not easy, given that in our soceity of thousands of years of civilization, a men is dominant and woman is protected, but we only have that many years in our lives, to learn and adapt and match... say from our teen, to 30yo thats only 15 years? Compare to literatures, stories, even Disney Prince and Princesses are more than 100 year old (or close to).
Its not easy, but we have made our choice...
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I have fallen for this song lately, especially this contest version...
一切一切,在故事结束时都不存在了~ 一切都掉了...
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There should be more equality in a gay relationship. Everyone just needs to play their part and the part we play is not necessarily fixed.
ReplyDeleteI still believe there is a clear role between couple...i'm not sure how vers work, u screw me once, and I screw u next? Usually btm requires more care; but i can generalized. So, are you now looking young sugar daddy or to be the sugar dad now?
ReplyDeleteWhat I meant was "We can't generalize it.." Typo.
ReplyDeleteWill, i dunno, like I say there shud be a kind of "harmony" or optimal state, but I tend to agree with Sky on not exactly equal, skewed in a way... afterall still operating on a sorta couple models...
ReplyDeleteSky, yealo, like i say not matter how vers, there be always a more of tendency for each... I am open to both, whichever comes first I will grab it, Meeting the right person at the right time and the right place is still the most important factor... As for the who screw who, can be worked out ba.. So which kind are u? Muscular-Curvy-Abs Sugar Daddy? =p
Kidz: From my blog, tak kan u can't guess my role meh? Who screw who can be work out sounded very vers...lolx! The role must be defined first...else susah nanti.
ReplyDeleteCan... from your blog obviously you are the big bully + Ham sup lou role... =p
ReplyDelete*work out the role as in if he is lengzai enuf of course anything is fine for me... =p =p
>.< hamsup may be but certain not big bully....
ReplyDeleteOIC...role can be changed dependent on the sexiness of the partner. Noted and point taken.
hehe.. =p
ReplyDeletei think it's fun to have a bit of both. after all, not all bottoms want to be taken care of all the time. and sometimes tops need to feel taken care of too. it's good to break the tedium and have a balance.
ReplyDelete=)
Hi Luc! Happy New Year!!!
ReplyDeleteYea, I didn't mean totally defining the roles, But I mean there would still be a general "top" and "btm" kind of relationship in all sense, not just in the bed... But like i said, being gay, we need to feel loved and protected, just a different level i guess, probably one giving more and the other receiving.. but both should be equally contented for a truely happy couple.. =)