Seems like even I tried to maintain my sleep hours in the AM, somehow it doesn't go as plan. Especially when I have plans with my friends, somehow I have to go back to the normal hours...
After spending the entire day out, now I fell like I shud stay up late till 3am, but somehow, I am at the point that I cud faint any moment... headache headache..
**************************************************
Sometimes, something in life is just too good to be true, and i guess they probably are...
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Simple Love
I haven't been a fan for movies, especially not Hong Kong movies in the recent years. The reason being they have been trying hard to make impressive scenes and really complicated story lines. It sometimes makes u think, so the message in the movie is? Dun be a drug smuggler? There are good gangsters? or okay, so those were how our ancestor battle, wow... that's it...
I have always been a fans of comedy movie, and I wanted to catch the 2 CNY film but didn't manage. But today, I chance to watch this movie, "Hot Summer Days". Apart from the fact that it has a lot of stars in it, I have to say the story was really interesting, and good. It has very good sense of humour while all the 5 stories are touching each by themselves. I am not a film critics, but I remember the last few movies that I watched, i actually slept thru some parts. This is the only one that I was able to concentrate from start to end. And again, it was great!
Simple love, one of the highlights was maggie cheung appearing in the movie, telling how simple love can be or SHUD be. There are puppy love story, but how they both have faith and turn into a really beautiful love story. 2 person who pretend to be who they are not, but end up still liking who they are in real. And the list goes on...
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One of the actress, vivian xu... She reminds me of this song that I really love, 愛笑的眼睛... Seems like I have forgotten, I used to like to smile so much...
Friday, February 26, 2010
Kiddish!
This is not the first time, but this time, I somehow feel really bad because I was suppose to know my limits...
Despite knowing the meaning of breaking up, despite understand the whole point of that is because we know we cannot go on, thus it is natural that we will move on, that he will move on too. But I somehow couldn't help but have the urge or probably jealousy, that Someone might already been seeing someone else. I mean, it was I who said we shud stop, cause I dun wan to hurt our relationship even more. So that we wont end up hating each other. But now, even from a miss call, a mis-dialling of my number, I take it as an opportunity to ask if he has been meeting new friend. On one hand, i have to admit I am still feeling a little jealous, but on the other... I probably need a solid push, so that I will give up determinedly and really move on without looking back again...
But still by doing this, I somehow feel like i have brought back him the same awkward and annoying situation in the 3 months time. I can almost imagine the look on his face when he sees the message..
I some such a sore-loser... pathetic sore loser...
Despite knowing the meaning of breaking up, despite understand the whole point of that is because we know we cannot go on, thus it is natural that we will move on, that he will move on too. But I somehow couldn't help but have the urge or probably jealousy, that Someone might already been seeing someone else. I mean, it was I who said we shud stop, cause I dun wan to hurt our relationship even more. So that we wont end up hating each other. But now, even from a miss call, a mis-dialling of my number, I take it as an opportunity to ask if he has been meeting new friend. On one hand, i have to admit I am still feeling a little jealous, but on the other... I probably need a solid push, so that I will give up determinedly and really move on without looking back again...
But still by doing this, I somehow feel like i have brought back him the same awkward and annoying situation in the 3 months time. I can almost imagine the look on his face when he sees the message..
I some such a sore-loser... pathetic sore loser...
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Be Optimistic?
Was listening to this song again, I knew it because I had heard it several times in competition. But i just came to realize today i had never quite pay attention to the lyrics, to what is the song is about but rather just knowing it is quite nice...
When i read along the lines, I realize it is a song that appreciate a love that had past. One year, 4 seasons, that's how long it lasted. We had each other support through the year, we had happy moments that is always going to live in our memory, although we havent been able to hold each other till the end of day, but at least we had truly tried to love...
But it is always easier said than done, somehow, when I see how others are "monogamously couple" I keep getting the little sad.. jealousy feeling. I really wish i could have proudly say that too... but now there isn't even a hand, I could hold, not a number, I can call to say "I am so tired...", not a person I can go for a movie with, nor ask someone out for dinner...
It all seems so far away now...
Sometimes I really feel tired.. physically... as well as mentally, to keep searching and searching... somehow, I seem to understand why some gay doesn't mind one night stands, maybe it is not solely for the sheer pleasure, rather, to have someone who would at least passionately hug you, for that short moment... a bit of comfort... a bit of love...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Found It
I have finally found it!
Everytime I had a new haircut, I need to go through a process to find a way to style/wax it. It is really by chance of trying and discovering from TV's and seeing how others do it.
Of course my stylist did tell me how to do it and show me in fact after cutting my hair and indeed it look fabulous. But the thing about it is we are not as professional as them and usually the hair can never go back to that most beautiful state. We don't have powerful hair dryer either to start with. So I always have to find a way to make it look nice on my own.
Finally, yesterday i tried with a kind of soft wax and it look not bad. Then it was further verified by the bakery auntie when she look at me, look down to pack my breads, then look back up in a shock expression and say "It's you!"
She couldn't recognize me at one glance, hehe.. And she say it look very handsome with the new haircut.. ^^ (I know it doesn't say much with just the auntie comment but then again, she was quite sincere)
So yup, Eureka!
*********************************************
ZZZzzzzzzz time...... so tired after the whole nite... lungs feel like bursting...
Everytime I had a new haircut, I need to go through a process to find a way to style/wax it. It is really by chance of trying and discovering from TV's and seeing how others do it.
Of course my stylist did tell me how to do it and show me in fact after cutting my hair and indeed it look fabulous. But the thing about it is we are not as professional as them and usually the hair can never go back to that most beautiful state. We don't have powerful hair dryer either to start with. So I always have to find a way to make it look nice on my own.
Finally, yesterday i tried with a kind of soft wax and it look not bad. Then it was further verified by the bakery auntie when she look at me, look down to pack my breads, then look back up in a shock expression and say "It's you!"
She couldn't recognize me at one glance, hehe.. And she say it look very handsome with the new haircut.. ^^ (I know it doesn't say much with just the auntie comment but then again, she was quite sincere)
So yup, Eureka!
*********************************************
ZZZzzzzzzz time...... so tired after the whole nite... lungs feel like bursting...
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A good song
The first music album that I have purchased in my life is by her. Previously I thought she was really talented, not only she composes nice songs, but the way she sings, is unique and nice. Yup, I obviously dun have good vocab to describe but listening to the songs she sings, simply makes me feel comfortable and really get to enjoy it. She simply has the talent, to give a new life to songs. Just like this one, it was by another female singer, but I fell for it immediately after I heard it for the first time.
There was a term by the judges, that she has a lyrical vocal, which I cudn't agree more. Even more prominent in this song. She simply can do magic with her voice...
As the lyrics says, How Should I love You? Maybe sometimes in love, you need to be talented too, in order to be succesful. Probably I dun have much of it...
There was a term by the judges, that she has a lyrical vocal, which I cudn't agree more. Even more prominent in this song. She simply can do magic with her voice...
As the lyrics says, How Should I love You? Maybe sometimes in love, you need to be talented too, in order to be succesful. Probably I dun have much of it...
Monday, February 22, 2010
My IC
"The winner ID is S857xxxxZ please contact our customer service at ....." Hopefully one day this will happen, then I will publish my IC number here. (Cheh! Big deal!)
Finally I have received my IC (for PR). It is really a odd, funny feeling to be somehow OFFICIALLY related to this small island big city. I mean all these while my status has been foreign student, foreign worker (sounds like labor workers =s , and expat seems too big a word for me, my pay to be more precise). But now i am PR with a blue IC... hmm... not so much "foreign" now I guess.
Well the moment of excitement is pretty short, cause I need to pay CPF which means my pay will be lesser now, at least the cash amount I am getting =(
But then again, I suppose I am still foreign in someway, just like the man who sell me my screen protector in Bugis street straight away ask, are u not local? are u malaysian? cause u dun sound local.. Well I am happy with my slang.
But the stall is really on my recommendation list for one they are selling the same piece of screen protector at 7 dollar which is HALF of what the bloody stall in the overhead bridge link between Ilumna and Bugis Junction is selling, $14 bucks... seriously how over price is that =s
Furthermore, the person offer to help me stick it which I was so glad cause he did a most wonderful job on it,no air bubbles, no dust, and sides are just nicely fitted... Plus he is really friendly and chat all the way while he is doing, even apologize for taking so long to stick it, which i dun really blame him considering how a nice job he did (anyway it was at most only 10-15 minutes total).
NOW, THIS IS CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!
***********************************************
When I heard this song, I almost wanted to cry again (okay, I know I cry easily, but the program was really about all these and the singer really made it very touching)
Then I listened to the full version and the lyrics are really meaningful, we all get moments like this don't we. Suddenly because of some reason, it can be a restaurant, could be a song, could be a familiar sight, or a photo of us 2. Suddenly it makes you feel you really missed Someone, suddenly you would think how he has been doing, if he is fine if he is seeing someone else, if his stomach is still sensitive and if he finished the honey you bought for him, and suddenly you would feel you hate him for bringing you such painful memory, but then suddenly you feel you want to call him up and ask him if he really dun like you anymore, can you get back together... And suddenly, you realize, the very reason for choosing this path is still there, to not hurt each other anymore...
我会突然好想你...你呢？
Finally I have received my IC (for PR). It is really a odd, funny feeling to be somehow OFFICIALLY related to this small island big city. I mean all these while my status has been foreign student, foreign worker (sounds like labor workers =s , and expat seems too big a word for me, my pay to be more precise). But now i am PR with a blue IC... hmm... not so much "foreign" now I guess.
Well the moment of excitement is pretty short, cause I need to pay CPF which means my pay will be lesser now, at least the cash amount I am getting =(
But then again, I suppose I am still foreign in someway, just like the man who sell me my screen protector in Bugis street straight away ask, are u not local? are u malaysian? cause u dun sound local.. Well I am happy with my slang.
But the stall is really on my recommendation list for one they are selling the same piece of screen protector at 7 dollar which is HALF of what the bloody stall in the overhead bridge link between Ilumna and Bugis Junction is selling, $14 bucks... seriously how over price is that =s
Furthermore, the person offer to help me stick it which I was so glad cause he did a most wonderful job on it,no air bubbles, no dust, and sides are just nicely fitted... Plus he is really friendly and chat all the way while he is doing, even apologize for taking so long to stick it, which i dun really blame him considering how a nice job he did (anyway it was at most only 10-15 minutes total).
NOW, THIS IS CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!
***********************************************
When I heard this song, I almost wanted to cry again (okay, I know I cry easily, but the program was really about all these and the singer really made it very touching)
Then I listened to the full version and the lyrics are really meaningful, we all get moments like this don't we. Suddenly because of some reason, it can be a restaurant, could be a song, could be a familiar sight, or a photo of us 2. Suddenly it makes you feel you really missed Someone, suddenly you would think how he has been doing, if he is fine if he is seeing someone else, if his stomach is still sensitive and if he finished the honey you bought for him, and suddenly you would feel you hate him for bringing you such painful memory, but then suddenly you feel you want to call him up and ask him if he really dun like you anymore, can you get back together... And suddenly, you realize, the very reason for choosing this path is still there, to not hurt each other anymore...
我会突然好想你...你呢？
Sunday, February 21, 2010
熟悉。回忆
Sometimes, when you think you have been strong, when u think time really makes you forget, but the moment you see it again, everything just seems to come back.
When i stand near you, the familiar feeling of leaning against your tall figure, hugging tightly was so strong... I always ask for a hug everytime I leave your place when our problems started. you ask me why? I keep answering I am affraid it will be the last time I get to do it... I really do mean it...
I know i am suppose to be strong on my own, but still even a short meet up like today, after u alighted, I still cannot help stopping my tears from falling... Maybe it is just an emotional moment, after so long, suddenly I see you again, all i feel is we are still as distant as we have been, nothing has improved or changed. I keep telling myself to move on, but the familiar feeling around you seems to have been so strong. Maybe it is really what first love is, the feeling is always strongest...
I tried all these while to meet people, to make new friends, to make my time occupy, but all the defence seems to crumple the moment I see you. I even have the urge to call you up to ask "Do u think we can get back together?" Despite knowing deep down that given our expectation, giving the very different personalities we both possessed, I know it is never going to work out. You will never put me in priority, just like the birthday present is something u wish I would make use to become something u like and not something u know I will like and want me to be happy to get it. And also just like I would never become independent, to live a relationship that is mature and discrete. Every time i think about it, all the more i feel it is truely the end, despite how hard i tried to argue against it...
***********************************************
Will you tell me frankly to move on if you really dun want me anymore...
When i stand near you, the familiar feeling of leaning against your tall figure, hugging tightly was so strong... I always ask for a hug everytime I leave your place when our problems started. you ask me why? I keep answering I am affraid it will be the last time I get to do it... I really do mean it...
I know i am suppose to be strong on my own, but still even a short meet up like today, after u alighted, I still cannot help stopping my tears from falling... Maybe it is just an emotional moment, after so long, suddenly I see you again, all i feel is we are still as distant as we have been, nothing has improved or changed. I keep telling myself to move on, but the familiar feeling around you seems to have been so strong. Maybe it is really what first love is, the feeling is always strongest...
I tried all these while to meet people, to make new friends, to make my time occupy, but all the defence seems to crumple the moment I see you. I even have the urge to call you up to ask "Do u think we can get back together?" Despite knowing deep down that given our expectation, giving the very different personalities we both possessed, I know it is never going to work out. You will never put me in priority, just like the birthday present is something u wish I would make use to become something u like and not something u know I will like and want me to be happy to get it. And also just like I would never become independent, to live a relationship that is mature and discrete. Every time i think about it, all the more i feel it is truely the end, despite how hard i tried to argue against it...
***********************************************
Will you tell me frankly to move on if you really dun want me anymore...
Saturday, February 20, 2010
A really nice country
I know i havent been liking this small island big city much, but to be fair, they have definitely put in a lot of effort to make it a nice country.
Nice in the sense that for one, u feel really safe living here. For instance, the nite here is never dark and scary. In fact, they have street lamps all over the country (I believe so, course i never seen it with my own eyes before) but 2 examples, first my nite cycling experience, it was so safe to cycle around, then tonite, i was walking bout 20 minutes to nite rider bus stop and not one part was dark, and see they even prepare nite rider on weekend for drinking kakis so u dun hav to take cab, which is quite considerate isn't it?
8t really helps to make u feel secure to walk alone even in late nites, not to mention the already low crime rates here..
That's of course only one example of why i call it a nice country. but then i only feel it is nice, but not lovely or beautiful. Not lovely for the people here, it's like a typical big city, i guess like hong kong as well, especially the girls, i have nvr heard good comments, not to mention how often i gave the example of a guy in business school who is no where near even average looking, but manage to get girls flocking to him after they discover he has a car. well to some extent, guys can be superficial and shallow as well juz look at how toned the gays here are, for instance. and back in my hometown, even my kind of build was being considered as build, despite i keep explaining i am not = ="
so that's the not so lovely part... as for beautiful, i simply mean natural beauty, but then again, these r natural gifts, it's not their fault they dun hav it, and they hav done a good job building artificial ones... which is pretty good i guess for wat they can affors to do..
still no where is perfect, i love my country, but it is still far from perfect, at least they shud be ashamed of the effort in comparison to here...
Nice in the sense that for one, u feel really safe living here. For instance, the nite here is never dark and scary. In fact, they have street lamps all over the country (I believe so, course i never seen it with my own eyes before) but 2 examples, first my nite cycling experience, it was so safe to cycle around, then tonite, i was walking bout 20 minutes to nite rider bus stop and not one part was dark, and see they even prepare nite rider on weekend for drinking kakis so u dun hav to take cab, which is quite considerate isn't it?
8t really helps to make u feel secure to walk alone even in late nites, not to mention the already low crime rates here..
That's of course only one example of why i call it a nice country. but then i only feel it is nice, but not lovely or beautiful. Not lovely for the people here, it's like a typical big city, i guess like hong kong as well, especially the girls, i have nvr heard good comments, not to mention how often i gave the example of a guy in business school who is no where near even average looking, but manage to get girls flocking to him after they discover he has a car. well to some extent, guys can be superficial and shallow as well juz look at how toned the gays here are, for instance. and back in my hometown, even my kind of build was being considered as build, despite i keep explaining i am not = ="
so that's the not so lovely part... as for beautiful, i simply mean natural beauty, but then again, these r natural gifts, it's not their fault they dun hav it, and they hav done a good job building artificial ones... which is pretty good i guess for wat they can affors to do..
still no where is perfect, i love my country, but it is still far from perfect, at least they shud be ashamed of the effort in comparison to here...
Friday, February 19, 2010
1st advantage of being PR
I finally get to use the SG/PR queue at the check point which really saved me from the 30 minutes queue, phew...
But tired as usual... and 16 dollar gone to cab ='(
Well, life goes on, can't always depend on others...
Gong Hei Fat Choi :: <33333 !!!!
ZZZzzZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............
But tired as usual... and 16 dollar gone to cab ='(
Well, life goes on, can't always depend on others...
Gong Hei Fat Choi :: <33333 !!!!
ZZZzzZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Home for a break
Can't exactly remember when was the last time i have one whole week to spend at home. Didn't realize it until you pause, look and think about how fast pace life has been.
Finally a good time for the mind to slow down, to calm, to rest, to think, to reflect and to probably get most things sorted out.
For any mistake i have made, any offensive words, hard feelings, biased views, I seek your forgiveness. I have used my blog to shout out, thus i didn't bother much about how others feel. But since it is new year soon, i sincerely would like to say sorry to anyone, whom i have hurt ur feelings.
Let's wish the best for a new year.
This is probably the first tiem I will skip several days not updating my blog. Well, everything has a first i guess.
Happy Chinese New Year!
Finally a good time for the mind to slow down, to calm, to rest, to think, to reflect and to probably get most things sorted out.
For any mistake i have made, any offensive words, hard feelings, biased views, I seek your forgiveness. I have used my blog to shout out, thus i didn't bother much about how others feel. But since it is new year soon, i sincerely would like to say sorry to anyone, whom i have hurt ur feelings.
Let's wish the best for a new year.
This is probably the first tiem I will skip several days not updating my blog. Well, everything has a first i guess.
Happy Chinese New Year!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Another Promise Broken
I know I am probably taking this too serious. It might not even count as a "promise" as you have already said it clearly that you have to "confirm back" later. And it is probably my own problem that I have to look at it from this point of view and not being considerate. But, I have feelings too.
I was thinking of meeting up Someone to pass him something and also he has something for me. So i decided to arrrange a day on the weekend after i come back from new year knowing he might have many family events. So I tried to set up an appointment.
Then he replied that maybe I would like to get my watch before I return home so that I can wear the new watch for chinese new year. Well to be honest, I don't bloody damn care if i have a new watch to wear for New Year. But I was really happy that he thought of it and being so considerate. So, instead of replying "nvm, i dun really need it for cny", I just say
"Okay, but I will be going back on ... so that would mean I meet you like last time at ur workplace at the late evening? Since I am going to work at night shift it will be convenient too."
So I offered to go collect at his workplace which means he only need to spare about 10 minutes to come down and pass the thing.
But as the day get closer to my departure, I haven't receive any "cfm back with u" msg. So I decided to msg him, which to be really honest, I kinda expected what is to come, though I dunno why I am still wishing there will be a different reply.
The reply came:
"I don't think I have time to meet you tonite"
2 line immediately came to my mind,
"Did you really remember or care about this, you haven't even bother to "cfm back with you" at all until I msg you"
"Why do you have to suggest something that gives me little hopes and crush it again AND AGAIN!"
I dunno why I am still getting upset by this, afterall all that has happen, after knowing what his priority has always been. After knowing that I was never one of the priority in his life. After knowing that to him, when he is busy means that's the main concern, even 10 minutes seems unreasonable to ask for.
Maybe this is why i still get upset and dissapointed... because even till this day, I am never important, not even worth 10 minute of time, not even worth to be bother to reply to...
I was thinking of meeting up Someone to pass him something and also he has something for me. So i decided to arrrange a day on the weekend after i come back from new year knowing he might have many family events. So I tried to set up an appointment.
Then he replied that maybe I would like to get my watch before I return home so that I can wear the new watch for chinese new year. Well to be honest, I don't bloody damn care if i have a new watch to wear for New Year. But I was really happy that he thought of it and being so considerate. So, instead of replying "nvm, i dun really need it for cny", I just say
"Okay, but I will be going back on ... so that would mean I meet you like last time at ur workplace at the late evening? Since I am going to work at night shift it will be convenient too."
So I offered to go collect at his workplace which means he only need to spare about 10 minutes to come down and pass the thing.
But as the day get closer to my departure, I haven't receive any "cfm back with u" msg. So I decided to msg him, which to be really honest, I kinda expected what is to come, though I dunno why I am still wishing there will be a different reply.
The reply came:
"I don't think I have time to meet you tonite"
2 line immediately came to my mind,
"Did you really remember or care about this, you haven't even bother to "cfm back with you" at all until I msg you"
"Why do you have to suggest something that gives me little hopes and crush it again AND AGAIN!"
I dunno why I am still getting upset by this, afterall all that has happen, after knowing what his priority has always been. After knowing that I was never one of the priority in his life. After knowing that to him, when he is busy means that's the main concern, even 10 minutes seems unreasonable to ask for.
Maybe this is why i still get upset and dissapointed... because even till this day, I am never important, not even worth 10 minute of time, not even worth to be bother to reply to...
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Night Shift - The Good, The Bad
The Good Thing:
- No crowd in transport to work
- Flexible dress code (basically t-shirt and jeans are the bottom limit)
- Cosy environment, it is quiet and peaceful
- No physical boss around (we only correspond to our US managers so in soem way, no one to walk around and see u, which also means as long as u get thigns done, other time is fully urs ^^ )
- More day time (though I am currently sleeping thru it all, but there is the flexibility, like sunday nite clubbing, sunday nite karaoke, sakae tea time buffet, dim sum tea time buffet, many other tea time buffet etc etc...)
The Bad Thing:
- No aircon for certain hours (but it is not that hot, just some hours not that comfy)
- Sleep habit needs to be adjusted (basically i wake and sleep and wake and sleep)
- Gym routine affected (still trying to work out a suitable timing after CNY)
- Feel fat (from the way i eat breakfast, sleep, then hungry for lunch then sleep then have to get dinner be4 work)
- Feel like bad for health (somehow my body has the kind of really tired feeling around 6am, maybe just the beginning)
All in all, it is a unique experience for the time being. Well, just enjoy it anyway, not likely to experience this in the future anyway.
- No crowd in transport to work
- Flexible dress code (basically t-shirt and jeans are the bottom limit)
- Cosy environment, it is quiet and peaceful
- No physical boss around (we only correspond to our US managers so in soem way, no one to walk around and see u, which also means as long as u get thigns done, other time is fully urs ^^ )
- More day time (though I am currently sleeping thru it all, but there is the flexibility, like sunday nite clubbing, sunday nite karaoke, sakae tea time buffet, dim sum tea time buffet, many other tea time buffet etc etc...)
The Bad Thing:
- No aircon for certain hours (but it is not that hot, just some hours not that comfy)
- Sleep habit needs to be adjusted (basically i wake and sleep and wake and sleep)
- Gym routine affected (still trying to work out a suitable timing after CNY)
- Feel fat (from the way i eat breakfast, sleep, then hungry for lunch then sleep then have to get dinner be4 work)
- Feel like bad for health (somehow my body has the kind of really tired feeling around 6am, maybe just the beginning)
All in all, it is a unique experience for the time being. Well, just enjoy it anyway, not likely to experience this in the future anyway.
Monday, February 8, 2010
First night shift
This is my first ever night shift... I tried to sleep in the afternoon but couldn't manage. And i am feeling sleepy now... this is definitely not good =s
Got to go...
*scare*
Got to go...
*scare*
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Learning to Trust
As planned, I went to buy the pair of shoes that i made a reservation for from Aldo. Except there was a price difference of 20 dollars in the shop yesterday. But I kinda thought it was labelled wrongly cause another design of the same shoe was selling at 135, so the 115 must be wrongly labelled. My doubt was proven. But if only the store had my size yesterday, then I could have bought it at the labelled price, sometimes they can be kinda blur about that.. =(
Anyway, after discount, i still think it is worth it. My only pair of casual shoes was the nike that I bought 2 years ago. So about time to get a change..
So then i thought, that was all the shopping for the day, and the end...
But later when my friend was looking at shoes from the Royal Sporting House, they were trying on this pair, and i tried it too... Gosh, it was really comfy, ncie for sports as well as suitable for casual (the color, white-black-purple). Most important of all, it is on 50% off!!! And further 8% when our total purchase exceed 188. So I couldn't resist =p ...
BUT! This pair is not for myself, I got it for my bro... so he will have a new pair of shoes for CNY too ^^... I tried it on, i am sure it will look good on him in jeans too.. just like me =p
*********************************************
I realize that i get the insecure feeling easily, maybe like Someone said, i am really possesive and think too much and doubt easily. Maybe it was also because I had this feeling ever since I knew I was not good enough and he is starting to see some other people who could be more suitable. Maybe it was also because of the various experience that I trust so much but end up i was being silly with net friend, with people who doesn't care but just I thought they are serious. Ever since then, I realize i have low self confidence and feel insecure easily...
I know this is very much my own problem.. but I guess it really takes time to build trust, and it takes both side, to have faith and to make other have faith in us.
Am i really silly... to still feel that way...
...我們曾緊緊擁抱 卻又輕易地放掉...
...時間分割成對角 停止你對我的好 瓦解我們的依靠...
A beautiful song. A love that has no regret. A beautiful end.
Anyway, after discount, i still think it is worth it. My only pair of casual shoes was the nike that I bought 2 years ago. So about time to get a change..
So then i thought, that was all the shopping for the day, and the end...
But later when my friend was looking at shoes from the Royal Sporting House, they were trying on this pair, and i tried it too... Gosh, it was really comfy, ncie for sports as well as suitable for casual (the color, white-black-purple). Most important of all, it is on 50% off!!! And further 8% when our total purchase exceed 188. So I couldn't resist =p ...
BUT! This pair is not for myself, I got it for my bro... so he will have a new pair of shoes for CNY too ^^... I tried it on, i am sure it will look good on him in jeans too.. just like me =p
*********************************************
I realize that i get the insecure feeling easily, maybe like Someone said, i am really possesive and think too much and doubt easily. Maybe it was also because I had this feeling ever since I knew I was not good enough and he is starting to see some other people who could be more suitable. Maybe it was also because of the various experience that I trust so much but end up i was being silly with net friend, with people who doesn't care but just I thought they are serious. Ever since then, I realize i have low self confidence and feel insecure easily...
I know this is very much my own problem.. but I guess it really takes time to build trust, and it takes both side, to have faith and to make other have faith in us.
Am i really silly... to still feel that way...
...我們曾緊緊擁抱 卻又輕易地放掉...
...時間分割成對角 停止你對我的好 瓦解我們的依靠...
A beautiful song. A love that has no regret. A beautiful end.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
My 2nd Levis Jeans
FInally I decided to use my old pair of jeans to trade for a new pair at Levis to get a 50 dollar discount. The new pair is black and slim cut + some skinny. As for the photos, I thought I will prob show it next time when I wear it and take photo rather than showing here it lying on my bed and look just like any ordinary pair of jeans =p
Gosh, there is another pair which I am giving thought about trading too, but it cost 20 bucks more and I really should stop spending madly like this. Afterall I only need 1 pair for CNY. But this one is really fitting and nice and show the shape from the butt to the thigh and all the way down the legs.. For someone of our height... it really is pleasing to see that.
But then I realize sometimes i can be a bit of a shopaholic. Like today I discover a shirt which I have bought like half a year ago and leave inside my closet untouch. I almost forgotten about it until I was searching for the trade-in jeans today.. So embarassing, buying and keeping and not wearing at all!
Cut spending... (but I just reserved a pair of aldo shoes... to match my jeans and shirt. :$)
******************************************
Recently I fell for this white border, one of my favourite but least practical color.. =p at least they wont get stained here..
"...感受到有一种突然的冲动
放肆一次 走火入魔... "
Like wenjian say, sometimes we just need some 冲动. To think carefully is of course prudent, but then again, you dun always have that luxury all the times. Soemtimes, acting according to instinct can lead to unexpected results, it makes ur life alive I believe..
Gosh, there is another pair which I am giving thought about trading too, but it cost 20 bucks more and I really should stop spending madly like this. Afterall I only need 1 pair for CNY. But this one is really fitting and nice and show the shape from the butt to the thigh and all the way down the legs.. For someone of our height... it really is pleasing to see that.
But then I realize sometimes i can be a bit of a shopaholic. Like today I discover a shirt which I have bought like half a year ago and leave inside my closet untouch. I almost forgotten about it until I was searching for the trade-in jeans today.. So embarassing, buying and keeping and not wearing at all!
Cut spending... (but I just reserved a pair of aldo shoes... to match my jeans and shirt. :$)
******************************************
Recently I fell for this white border, one of my favourite but least practical color.. =p at least they wont get stained here..
"...感受到有一种突然的冲动
放肆一次 走火入魔... "
Like wenjian say, sometimes we just need some 冲动. To think carefully is of course prudent, but then again, you dun always have that luxury all the times. Soemtimes, acting according to instinct can lead to unexpected results, it makes ur life alive I believe..
Friday, February 5, 2010
A Moment Like This, A Person Like This...
In one's life, what more can you seek and wish upon wish that eventually you will encounter a person, which you can truly say this, as well as be the same person to the other...
One of many versions, but in this a story that's sincerely told, that may this be truly 唯獨你是不可取替 ...
One of many versions, but in this a story that's sincerely told, that may this be truly 唯獨你是不可取替 ...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
3 Important Events
#1 Nocturnal Life
I have to work night shift officially. Which means next monday onwards I have to go to work at 11pm and end at 7am. This is to map to the work hour of the states.
Well, bright side is I can do a lot of thigns during the day. Down side is of course the sleeping time... not sure how i can adjust but just see how it goes... (Plus maybe now i can try the Sunday nite clubbing ^^ )
***********************************************************
#2 LGBT Group
So our company actually has some affinity group. Something like extra-curiculum in school, and they actually have LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transexual) welfare group. ALthough they specifically say you dun have to be one to join but, definitely sounds interesting. For a company in Asia, they are actually making a good effort.
So... I am in!
***********************************************************
#3 Chase Out
Our landlord finally said he wont continue the contract with us. Which is kinda expected from the frequency they come back to the community, we have guessed they wanted to move back very much. Which also means we have to look for place to shift... sigh... headache..again...
Really gonna miss this home, though we only stay in it for a year, but really love it.
Well... that's being a foreigner, you dun really have a place you can call home. That's also why I always wanted a "home" so much... not because I am posessive.. but I doubt you ever understand how I feel..
I have to work night shift officially. Which means next monday onwards I have to go to work at 11pm and end at 7am. This is to map to the work hour of the states.
Well, bright side is I can do a lot of thigns during the day. Down side is of course the sleeping time... not sure how i can adjust but just see how it goes... (Plus maybe now i can try the Sunday nite clubbing ^^ )
***********************************************************
#2 LGBT Group
So our company actually has some affinity group. Something like extra-curiculum in school, and they actually have LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transexual) welfare group. ALthough they specifically say you dun have to be one to join but, definitely sounds interesting. For a company in Asia, they are actually making a good effort.
So... I am in!
***********************************************************
#3 Chase Out
Our landlord finally said he wont continue the contract with us. Which is kinda expected from the frequency they come back to the community, we have guessed they wanted to move back very much. Which also means we have to look for place to shift... sigh... headache..again...
Really gonna miss this home, though we only stay in it for a year, but really love it.
Well... that's being a foreigner, you dun really have a place you can call home. That's also why I always wanted a "home" so much... not because I am posessive.. but I doubt you ever understand how I feel..
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
A Gamble
"I dunno, I dun think I want to be in love again.."
"I am not sure if i will ever fall in love with someone else.."
"I am happy with how life is now.."
"After so many times, i feel really tired.."
****************************************************
Sometimes when I came across profiles, blogs with this kind of quotes, I simply just sigh.. (cause the guy is so cute and he wont want to fall in love again, what a pity..) *Ahem* I was just kidding.
Well the real reason is because it makes the whole relationship idea seems more negative. Like failures and failures... I remember when I first started to get into this circle (as they call it) I used to be so positive and believe very strongly in relationship working out, but as times goes, and i read more blogs, i start to doubt if my belief was right. Though I still havent given up yet, well not that I really can anyway...
But I guess the more times u failed, the more reserve you become when u meet the next person. Everytime you start a new relationship it is like a gamble, initially u have youth, you have time, you have tonnes of belief in love and people. You give everything can into the relationship. Then you loose everything... The next time, you still believe, and u give, not as many, but still as best as your heart convinces you this will work. Then you loose again.. and then again and again... until you probably loose the courage to gamble again?
Will I still dare to gamble? I guess I can still bravely say for now, "Till my last breath"
Will you have the courage to gamble?
*****************************************************
In my memory, this is the first love song that makes me cry. Because, it was almost around this time I started to appreciate love songs when I first knew how longing for someone's love feels like. That time I was still a fat guy with low self-esteem...
She may not have the sweetest voice, but listen carefully, it really touches heart if you understand the story she says...
..even after so many years, the story is still the same, I cannot stop myself from gambling all I have, but I lost.. again...
"I am not sure if i will ever fall in love with someone else.."
"I am happy with how life is now.."
"After so many times, i feel really tired.."
****************************************************
Sometimes when I came across profiles, blogs with this kind of quotes, I simply just sigh.. (cause the guy is so cute and he wont want to fall in love again, what a pity..) *Ahem* I was just kidding.
Well the real reason is because it makes the whole relationship idea seems more negative. Like failures and failures... I remember when I first started to get into this circle (as they call it) I used to be so positive and believe very strongly in relationship working out, but as times goes, and i read more blogs, i start to doubt if my belief was right. Though I still havent given up yet, well not that I really can anyway...
But I guess the more times u failed, the more reserve you become when u meet the next person. Everytime you start a new relationship it is like a gamble, initially u have youth, you have time, you have tonnes of belief in love and people. You give everything can into the relationship. Then you loose everything... The next time, you still believe, and u give, not as many, but still as best as your heart convinces you this will work. Then you loose again.. and then again and again... until you probably loose the courage to gamble again?
Will I still dare to gamble? I guess I can still bravely say for now, "Till my last breath"
Will you have the courage to gamble?
*****************************************************
In my memory, this is the first love song that makes me cry. Because, it was almost around this time I started to appreciate love songs when I first knew how longing for someone's love feels like. That time I was still a fat guy with low self-esteem...
She may not have the sweetest voice, but listen carefully, it really touches heart if you understand the story she says...
..even after so many years, the story is still the same, I cannot stop myself from gambling all I have, but I lost.. again...
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
无奈 - 一个蒲公英和毛毛虫的故事
*I was googling on what is 蒲公英 in English and it returns Dandelion (hope this is correct) ..
*****************************************************
A caterpillar met a Dandelion and they fell in love with each other.
They lived happily together until one day, the caterpillar transformed into a cocoon. The Dandelion became lonely and got distracted by the wind. It then decided to follow the wind and left the caterpillar. Finally when the caterpillar came out from its coccon and evoled into a Buttefly.
Caterpillar wanted to tell Dandelion that it has become more beautiful for him. But no where, can Caterpillar find Dandelion. It waits for Dandelion on its stem. Time passed, but Dandelion never returns...
*****************************************************
I was attracted by the song initially because of the lyrics. It was later after I have watched the music video that i realize how nicely it has integrated the story of the caterpillar into it. Basically it tells a similar stroy of a girl who couldn't be with a guy when he needed her. Then he found another her. The songs keep repeating that "I am not upset" well in a way it seems it is saying that in a positive manner that maybe this is a relief for both, since you no longer love me, might as well end it. But somehow listening to it over and over again, I had another feeling that it was more like saying something defiant. Especially when it says "I am not sad, but I dun understand why my tears keep falling..." So?
Not all story are alike, but basically it is about how one person is not able to satisfied what the other wants. And it leads to the end of a relationship. From this point of view, practically you can relate to any couple that break up. Who's fault it is then.. the reason I have put the title as 无奈 is I truly feel, soemtimes, you just cannot blame anyone, rather why fate has not done a better job in matching people. I feel truly helpless, I tried to be someone who you like, but still I am not good enough. Yet, I know you won't feel happy living with someone not up to your expectation. Neither you nor I am wrong or to be blamed. Probably just one might be more upset than the other, but it is really no one's fault.
I wanted to write something like this yesterday. But I allow myself to be spoilt in my own blog, to not care about how other feel and say whatever I really feel. Though it is without much EQ... but then again, it's my blog.
Caterpillar chooses to become more beautiful for Dandellion, however, it never thought that for that, Dandellion would not be able to stand the loneliness while it is not there for him and decided to go with Wind who appeared at the right place at the right time. Dandelion doesn't know where Catterpillar is and decided to grab Wind who is there for him.
I cannot be who you like, just like Caterpillar cannot be with Dandelion when he needed him most. we tried, but we really couldn't help it.
我已经尽我所能，做一个我觉得你会喜欢的人 但最后仍然不能在一起。我很难过，真的很难过，但也真的很无奈。
Monday, February 1, 2010
无奈
I name this entry as 无奈 cause I wanted to say, sometimes things just doesn't happen in favour to our wish. No matter how much we wanted it. Just like when a person's heart has moved, no matter how much effort i put in, it still has to end eventually... Thus 无奈...
I was initially searching for Jay's 說好的幸福呢. But like i say, i am a person without much patience, so while waiting for it to load, i switch on my playlist and on this song... 我不难过 by stephanie sun... Gosh, it hit me too.. Then I was struggling between which song I should choose today.
Both of these songs are definitely somewhere on my blog. But i rememeber I put them only as a ending like the others, rather than talking about how I like them.. So after giving both some thought, I think I should start with 說好的幸福呢. Cause if I were to compose a story, this song definitely is the front part.
I first notice this song when it was sang by some participant of a popular Taiwanese singing competition. It was really well presented by the girl in her original way. I fell in love with it immediately.
As the song name says, it is demanding for a Promise. Where is the happiness you Prmoised?
Come to think of it, he never gave me any promises, words such as "I will love you forever dear..." "Don't be silly, I will never leave you" etc etc.. Maybe it is his profession that he is being careful in giving promises like this. Or maybe since the very beginning, it just never makes him feel like he shud give me this kind of commitments? But there is indeed one thing that comes quite close. Which is the first time I ask what he likes about me, his answer was simple, but good enough to make me felt I had the best Chirstmas ever. The answer was " You have no idea how much I like you" . Maybe if I have been careful and ask more, it may mean "not so much" . And it wont lead to one year later I had a christmas where I had to smile in front of my friends when i really want to cry. And eventually keep drinking and eventually cry through the nite...
Well, it wasn't a promise, but to me, it is as good as a promise. But still after a few months, "you have no idea how much I like you" turned into "I am not sure if you are my type of guys" ... See, how fragile is that?
One of the reason why we are being look down as only for fun kind of relationship is because among guys, there are as little commitment as you can imagine. In fact, practically zero responsibility. One could have say something today, but probably denied it totally the next day, and still what can you do about it but suffer the heart crushing moment silently... If I were smarter, I probably would not take the next one so seriously, afterall we are all superficial and the promise last as long as you are "fresh" to someone, right? Hell is where u belong then.
Not only have you broken some's heart, you have shattered's one's believe in Love too. I realize how much doubt I have on people now, how hard it is for me to believe it is a true compliment rather than it is a sweet talk to get you on bed.
How hard is it to give someone a promise and keep to it? How hard it is to make your heart settle. How hard is it to appreciate someone who truly wants to spend a life with you. It just takes a contented and selfless heart...
You gave me hope, you make me feel I am not alone, you make me thought I was the luckiest person on earth. And as easy as you gave me all that, you crush them all. If you cannot afford to keep a promise, dun ever give it... I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I RELALY HATE YOU.!!!
I was initially searching for Jay's 說好的幸福呢. But like i say, i am a person without much patience, so while waiting for it to load, i switch on my playlist and on this song... 我不难过 by stephanie sun... Gosh, it hit me too.. Then I was struggling between which song I should choose today.
Both of these songs are definitely somewhere on my blog. But i rememeber I put them only as a ending like the others, rather than talking about how I like them.. So after giving both some thought, I think I should start with 說好的幸福呢. Cause if I were to compose a story, this song definitely is the front part.
I first notice this song when it was sang by some participant of a popular Taiwanese singing competition. It was really well presented by the girl in her original way. I fell in love with it immediately.
As the song name says, it is demanding for a Promise. Where is the happiness you Prmoised?
Come to think of it, he never gave me any promises, words such as "I will love you forever dear..." "Don't be silly, I will never leave you" etc etc.. Maybe it is his profession that he is being careful in giving promises like this. Or maybe since the very beginning, it just never makes him feel like he shud give me this kind of commitments? But there is indeed one thing that comes quite close. Which is the first time I ask what he likes about me, his answer was simple, but good enough to make me felt I had the best Chirstmas ever. The answer was " You have no idea how much I like you" . Maybe if I have been careful and ask more, it may mean "not so much" . And it wont lead to one year later I had a christmas where I had to smile in front of my friends when i really want to cry. And eventually keep drinking and eventually cry through the nite...
Well, it wasn't a promise, but to me, it is as good as a promise. But still after a few months, "you have no idea how much I like you" turned into "I am not sure if you are my type of guys" ... See, how fragile is that?
One of the reason why we are being look down as only for fun kind of relationship is because among guys, there are as little commitment as you can imagine. In fact, practically zero responsibility. One could have say something today, but probably denied it totally the next day, and still what can you do about it but suffer the heart crushing moment silently... If I were smarter, I probably would not take the next one so seriously, afterall we are all superficial and the promise last as long as you are "fresh" to someone, right? Hell is where u belong then.
Not only have you broken some's heart, you have shattered's one's believe in Love too. I realize how much doubt I have on people now, how hard it is for me to believe it is a true compliment rather than it is a sweet talk to get you on bed.
How hard is it to give someone a promise and keep to it? How hard it is to make your heart settle. How hard is it to appreciate someone who truly wants to spend a life with you. It just takes a contented and selfless heart...
You gave me hope, you make me feel I am not alone, you make me thought I was the luckiest person on earth. And as easy as you gave me all that, you crush them all. If you cannot afford to keep a promise, dun ever give it... I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I RELALY HATE YOU.!!!
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