无奈

I name this entry as 无奈 cause I wanted to say, sometimes things just doesn't happen in favour to our wish. No matter how much we wanted it. Just like when a person's heart has moved, no matter how much effort i put in, it still has to end eventually... Thus 无奈...

I was initially searching for Jay's 說好的幸福呢. But like i say, i am a person without much patience, so while waiting for it to load, i switch on my playlist and on this song... 我不难过 by stephanie sun... Gosh, it hit me too.. Then I was struggling between which song I should choose today.

Both of these songs are definitely somewhere on my blog. But i rememeber I put them only as a ending like the others, rather than talking about how I like them.. So after giving both some thought, I think I should start with 說好的幸福呢. Cause if I were to compose a story, this song definitely is the front part.



I first notice this song when it was sang by some participant of a popular Taiwanese singing competition. It was really well presented by the girl in her original way. I fell in love with it immediately.

As the song name says, it is demanding for a Promise. Where is the happiness you Prmoised?

Come to think of it, he never gave me any promises, words such as "I will love you forever dear..." "Don't be silly, I will never leave you" etc etc.. Maybe it is his profession that he is being careful in giving promises like this. Or maybe since the very beginning, it just never makes him feel like he shud give me this kind of commitments? But there is indeed one thing that comes quite close. Which is the first time I ask what he likes about me, his answer was simple, but good enough to make me felt I had the best Chirstmas ever. The answer was " You have no idea how much I like you" . Maybe if I have been careful and ask more, it may mean "not so much" . And it wont lead to one year later I had a christmas where I had to smile in front of my friends when i really want to cry. And eventually keep drinking and eventually cry through the nite...

Well, it wasn't a promise, but to me, it is as good as a promise. But still after a few months, "you have no idea how much I like you" turned into "I am not sure if you are my type of guys" ... See, how fragile is that?

One of the reason why we are being look down as only for fun kind of relationship is because among guys, there are as little commitment as you can imagine. In fact, practically zero responsibility. One could have say something today, but probably denied it totally the next day, and still what can you do about it but suffer the heart crushing moment silently... If I were smarter, I probably would not take the next one so seriously, afterall we are all superficial and the promise last as long as you are "fresh" to someone, right? Hell is where u belong then.

Not only have you broken some's heart, you have shattered's one's believe in Love too. I realize how much doubt I have on people now, how hard it is for me to believe it is a true compliment rather than it is a sweet talk to get you on bed.

How hard is it to give someone a promise and keep to it? How hard it is to make your heart settle. How hard is it to appreciate someone who truly wants to spend a life with you. It just takes a contented and selfless heart...

You gave me hope, you make me feel I am not alone, you make me thought I was the luckiest person on earth. And as easy as you gave me all that, you crush them all. If you cannot afford to keep a promise, dun ever give it... I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I RELALY HATE YOU.!!!